To not want to be the minority where I live?

[Charlottehines]

It really saddens me that in parks and soft plays with my children, that I am in the minority and my children can't play with other children there as they all play together and obviously can't speak English.
I'm in no way racist, my husband is of mixed origin but I do find it incredibly sad that my children are growing up the minority especially when these other groups make no effort to integrate with other mums or the children.
Am I completely unreasonable to feel sad about this?

Oh, I feel quite an idiot now! I'm sure there are people who would be disgusted by such a thing though...

The children of my Polish friends are completely bilingual.

Many attend Polish school on a Saturday, where they add to the subjects taught in regular school to bring it up to the level of Polish education so they can get both certificates upon leaving school, and also learn everything in Polish too. Education is highly rated.

Oh for goodness sake. We do not live in 1914. In the last 100 years following 2 World Wars and countless, seemingly endless smaller ones over the resources that keep us humans alive we have hit upon the idea that sitting in tiny man defined areas trying to live off the few resources around us is not viable. We either go to war as countries to try and prise the natural resources of others out of their hands or we as individuals make use of our personal talents in a globalised economy. We eat cheap food flown half way round the world that has been picked by 3 year olds holding their mothers hands. We wear cheap clothes that 6 year old have worked an 18 hour shift to see. We type into forums using phones, tablets, laptops that 12 year olds have produced components for in far away factories in countries that half of couldn't even point to on a map. And people move too. Taking their chances in countries with different languages and cultures and religions. More Brits live abroad. Some working and others not. Some like to congregate together (have you ever visited the Costas in Spain or half of Provence you can't move for English speakers who don't want to integrate and as for India it's

Ultimately, I think it all comes down to your interpretation of the situation. I look around at the area in which I live, and think about how marvellous it is for my dc to be growing up in such a culturally rich and diverse community. What a fabulous opportunity for all of us to learn and take the best bits of all cultures! I go out of my way to chat to people, and find them friendly and welcoming in response.

The OP looks around and feels sad that she isn't surrounded by people who are just like her. She resents the differences that she perceives, and generalises from them. She worries that the "other" people don't make an effort to integrate, and she fears that her dc will be isolated.

Strange how different people can have such different perspectives on a situation.

Lol... Blinking iPhone posted too soon but you get my drift OP. That's just the way of the world now a days. If you don't like it move to somewhere else where people who think like you live. You know you could try that fantasy island where everyone looks the same is totally self sufficient for food and fuel and doesn't need the help ( or to steal the resources ) of people from other nations. Share and share alike, land & resources or prepare for world war 3.

Ah, you've had cross words with white British mothers too, there's your answer. I live in a very mixed city and have never had cross words with any other mothers. It's not them, it's you.

Ok I live on the outskirts of Rochdale. Thought I'd chip in seeing as someone had the vapours upthread..
It's a shithole in places, I grant you but the 'all Asian' schools are purely due to.catchment areas not some sad indictment of todays society despite what the DM, UKIP or the BNP will try to tell us in the run up to the next election. Some schools are all white children or mixed due to the catchment areas. It's no different.
My DC's go to a school with very little mixture but sociqlise through sport or clubs with whoever is there regardless of language barriers.
I think it's you tbh, do you have a resting bitch face? (like me..)

Good post OhMerGerd

Clearly I'm expecting too much for parents to watch their children and correct bad behaviour.
I haven't just imagined that the majority of parents who seem to just sit back and let their kids get on with it are from certain countries.
Maybe they just do have a different way of parenting and done think kids need to be pulled up for whacking othe kids across the head etc.
That doesn't help when my sons lying of the floor after being attacked though.
Of course there will be cross words, I'm out every day in places surrounding by other kids!
Sometimes another parent will tell me my child has done something wrong, that's fine - Thankyou for letting me know and I will correct them.
Guess that's not the viewpoint of many parents then, which is worrying as these kids will go to school and are in for a shock when they can't behave in the same way as they have been allowed to for the last 4 years.
I wouldn't even say I'm an over protective mother, just shocked that some deem it okay to repeatedly attack other kids.

Applauds OhMerGod for saying everything i want to say whenever this sort of topic pops up but i can't articulate it.

Charlotte - you have come across some unpleasant people. That is all. It is absolutely nothing to do with which country they come from.

WTAF has your child getting hit by another child got to do with anything - there was one child at DD's school who was a complete little fucker, hitting and pushing the other kids at school, the mother NEVER disciplined him, it was embarrasing for one thing and i tore him off several strips when this was directed at my child - honest, fucking middle class DFLs i wish they'd all fuck off back to london and their surburban lives where little tarquin can be free to express himself however he so chooses lob balls at toddlers in the ball pool. Yeah, they are all like it, sitting there with their Chai lattes gabbling on about the latest boden catalogues.......................................

OMG you have gone from accusing these 'others' of not integrating and speaking English.

To saying they swear and tell you to fuck off.

To saying their children behave badly.

To accusing them of letting their kids 'attack your child' so seriously they are left 'lying on the floor'.

Not only that but they 'repeatedly attack' other children.

The fact you are posting increasingly implausible, hyperbolic accusations does nothing to lessen the impression you have created that you are a bigot.

The very opposite in fact.

I hope my mixed race, brown skinned, Eastern European children never have the misfortune to meet you IRL. Though if we did, I can pretty much guarantee my kids would still want to play with yours..... ironic eh?

YANBU OP. I suspect a lot of people here who are implying/screaming "racist" have never lived in an area where they are the minority and going to the park, shops, doctor, etc, makes you feel like you are living in a foreign country.

I was ultra liberal minded and all for immigration and multiculturalism until about 6 years ago when we moved into a poor inner city 'asian' area with a reasonable eastern european population as well. It really was like living in a foreign country with the majority of the neighbours and locals being unfriendly and unable or unwilling to speak English.

I don't know why it is considered acceptable and indeed normal for minorities and immigrants to want to live in areas with people from a similar background but if a (white) British person expresses the same desire they are a racist.

This has nothing to do with discriminating against people on the basis of skin colour, religion or otherwise. It is about the fact that we have had a lot of immigration in recent years and as a result SOME parts of the country have become fragmented and people segregated.

I don't quite see why people are being so dismissive of other people's experiences. Obviously some white people are racist, but so are some black and Asian people.

And there is a vast difference between living in a diverse multicultural area and living in an area where you are the only person of your race/culture and everyone else is another race/culture. Surely it is natural to feel isolated and lonely. It doesn't mean you are a racist bigot.

I am an immigrant, I live in an area with many immigrants from lots of different countries.

The immigrants and the people who come from this country all seem to get along fine, the kids don't seem to see colour of skin or language as a barrier.

A smile is universal, do you do that often?

I think its sad that you wont take on board the advice you have been given here - it is hard to make friends when you have small children, it can be very isolating. No one is going to preted that is isn't harder still with a language barrier but you don't go to meet friends in the soft play centre, people go there with the people they have already made friends with. Maybe go along to the local play groups and you'll have the opportunity to make friends wiht other mums - instead of sitting there in the soft play watching the other children like a hawk, feeling sorry for your own child who is left out of the games - like i said, i know how that feels and its not very nice but it has nothing to do with language or ethnicity its to do with the fact that people are cliuquey by nature. You have to make the effort.

No, Mooomin that alone doesn't make you a racist bigot. But that alone is not what the OP has posted.

And for the record the OP isn't the only person of her race or culture in her area.

And her categorising all Polish and/or Eastern Europeans as bad parents etc as she has done based on her alleged (and changing) story of conflict is racist and is bigoted.

moomin, you are absolutely right, feeling left out and isolated as a minority does not make you a bigot, but if you then go on to slate the "others" for their poor behaviour standards ad nauseum, that does.

Have I come to the right thread to roll my eyes at bigots?

you have yes - here, have some popcorn

Seriously, you need to rethink how you interact with others. Why do there have to be cross words because you are out with children every day? I am out with children every day too. I suspect the problem is you have a reputation as a shrieking harpy, it's nothing to do with race.

My local catholic church has 70 nationalities in its congregation, the C of E school runs a Somali outreach event and celebrates Eid, I've met a Polish/Turkish child and a Lithuanian/Algerian one at local playgroups. Where I live kicks Sutton's arse when it comes to diversity. It's never ever been a problem. Why would it be a problem?

As for the 'Easter European parents don't care about their children hitting people'. Really? I suspect OP has just been unlucky to run into some horrible people who happen to be Polish and is now making some unfortunate generalisations.