To not want to be the minority where I live?

[Charlottehines]

It really saddens me that in parks and soft plays with my children, that I am in the minority and my children can't play with other children there as they all play together and obviously can't speak English.
I'm in no way racist, my husband is of mixed origin but I do find it incredibly sad that my children are growing up the minority especially when these other groups make no effort to integrate with other mums or the children.
Am I completely unreasonable to feel sad about this?

OP, I live very near you in an even more diverse area. My son is the only white English boy in his class.

I don't see what you see. The non-English mothers at my DC's school are like the English mothers - some educated, mannerly, friendly, some ignorant and stand-offish.

My children have made friends from all backgrounds at school, as yours will.

Why shoehorn moaning about benefits and working into this thread? some people are desperate to have a Daily Mail style rant, clearly

I live in Tower Hamlets - very culturally (and socially) diverse. The cultural mix has never been a problem for me or my DSs in the local parks. Kids from all backgrounds have ended up playing together happily. I have encountered mums who couldn't speak any English, but we usually exchanged warm smiles instead!

I should think they can speaking but choose not to if they are in a social situation with other people from their own country.

I would find somewhere else for your kids to play innit bothers you so much to hear other languages being spoken

I've lived a few places in the UK where many mums don't speak English but I've never lived anywhere where the children don't pick it up immediately on starting reception. The under 2s don't really talk to each other anyway so this could only realistically be a problem between the ages of 2 and 4/5.

usualsuspectt has said what I was thinking!

Yanbu

Where I used to live was the same, and it was so isolating. I'm so glad we live where we do now

Here we go again...

What has benefits got to do with this?

DD, then 3, wandered into a group of French tinies on the beach and spent an hour chattering and gesticulating. She spent the next week saying oui and non. Also "faites kaka" and giggling, but there you go.

I have seen groups of women in parks who share the same nationality. They are obviously friends/family, they often speak their own language including to the children. I've never assumed from this that they can't speak English.

In my experience the children have always played happily with mine.

I was more likely to feel jealous because I was in the park alone!

desperately holding tongue on benefits crap

Kids don't need a common language to play together. My DD has happily played with French, Dutch and German kids on holiday with no problems. You don't need a huge amount of language to play hide and seek or chase.

Is it possible that rather than being a minority where you live you've stumbled upon a place where people with a common native language have decided to meet in order for their children to retain use of their mother tongue?

I'd think that was very common, I know if I was bringing my children up in a non-English speaking country I'd try to find other English speakers to meet with regularly.

Why

The OP lives in Surrey (Sutton).

It's primarily a leafy, middle-class area which attracts families interested in education because its schools are good.

There has been an influx of Eastern European immigrants in the north of the borough but it's still overwhelmingly white English compared to most of London, and certainly much less diverse than Croydon, which it shares a boundary with.

Why do people automatically assume that being home during the day midweek means you don't work?

The OP is a whinger.

YABU. I wouldn't talk to you, either - you sound horrible! Move somewhere whiter if you hate foreigners so much.

Sutton, Surrey??

I know the borough pretty well and have never encountered this.

Is this based on one trip to the playground or over several months?

I agree with others that children tend to just play with other children. Also, maybe the parents are speaking their mother tongue among themselves and speak perfectly good English with other people.

Yea, ems, they could be ladies of the night - haha . It usually does mean they are not working though.

Ok, I'm really glad you started this thread OP it's the kick up the bum I needed to get out of bed and get off MN for a few hours.

Cheers

I see lots of Eastern European mums in my local playground. I don't assume they are necessarily on benefits...I would imagine their husbands are working...or how do you know the women don't have part time jobs and are at the park on their day off?

Fwiw, I don't believe that countries without advanced economies should have been able to join the EU, as it drives wages down, however, most Eastern Europeans are very hard working people.

Yes, I agree there is an element of racism/hysteria in this thread!

According to this 21% of the population of Sutton are ethnic minorities. Higher than the national average but still 8/10 people are not ethnic minorities.

YABU