To not want to be the minority where I live?

[Charlottehines]

It really saddens me that in parks and soft plays with my children, that I am in the minority and my children can't play with other children there as they all play together and obviously can't speak English.
I'm in no way racist, my husband is of mixed origin but I do find it incredibly sad that my children are growing up the minority especially when these other groups make no effort to integrate with other mums or the children.
Am I completely unreasonable to feel sad about this?

My neighbor is Polish, has quite a lot of Polish mothers around and they play outside in the warm months. They sit on the steps chatting/narrating as their children draw in chalk on the pavement.

Horrible mothers.

I live in Sutton borough (not in Sutton though) and same as OP have mixed kids.
They are much older though so can't really comment on what's going on in play areas nowadays.

Which park do you have in mind? Manor Park?

How do you know those kids are Polish? Can you speak the language?

I agree with Derek
Perhaps you need to look more closely at your own behaviour and the signals you give to the other parents.
And your generalisations are really offensive.

*they sit on the steps chatting/narrating as their children draw in chalk on the pavement.

Horrible mothers.*

Is that a joke? I used to play outside and draw with chalk all the time as a kid. It was what made my childhood! Granted, I didn't grow up in a particularly middle-class area, but I didn't know that sitting outside made you horrible people...

My dc are very outnumbered in their classes at school but it has never caused a problem. Children get along with who they like regardless of race.

I actually see it as a good thing my ds knows so much about different cultures/ religions and countries. Some I have never heard of myself

FifthSense, of course that was a joke!

I think it was a joke, FifthSense.

Is britishness disappearing?
I am not British, but I do find it sad that a british child is minority in his own town. How sad.

Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of cross words with English mothers too

Interesting, and speaks volumes. I managed to take my three children to the local parks for years without having cross words with any mothers, whatever their nationality. Could this indicate the real reason for OP's problems?

Britishness is akin to say being German or French...it's an identity is it not?

"But I did live in an area in East London (predominantly Bangladeshi Muslim) which has sometimes been covered in the press as having problems and there were problems there. I was told fairly regularly by young men I should 'get out of their area' and had to be careful what I wore. If I said hello to my neighbours they would just totally blank me and wouldn't even accept an offer to help them with their pram up the stairs or help them with their shopping. I experienced racism at a doctors surgery and had to change. We felt we were also treated unfavourably when it came to certain publicly funded services when it came to race. It was very sad but we did feel we had to move away because we felt isolated and unwelcome."

Oh dear. Which part of East London?

It's true, I live in Tower Hamlets and there does seem to be a big problem with made-up bollocks here.

I havent found this at all where i live in scotland.

There is a polish child in our street and they play with all the other children. To see the children playing you wouldnt have a clue what nationality any of them are.

When i am at soft play centres/parks i sometimes find that children will only play with children that they know.

I havent found this at all where i live in scotland.

There is a polish child in our street and they play with all the other children. To see the children playing you wouldnt have a clue what nationality any of them are.

When i am at soft play centres/parks i sometimes find that children will only play with children that they know.

I'm laughing at the irony of the biggest empire on earth losing it's cultural identity.

What heartens me about a thread like this is the the OP seems to be in a minority with her opinions. I live in a very 'white' area. I'm Asian, my kids are mixed race. We get on fine -despite being in a minority. But then we don't judge people by language or perceived background. I just talked to all and sundry and made good friends. It makes me feel that racism is losing, hearing your views everyone.

Blimey op Nigel is working you hard at UKIP towers.

'they all play together and obviously can't speak English' If they are of school age they will speak English. My eldest (bilingual) DD will happily play with children of any of the 45 different nationalities in her school. She doesn't always speak English when she does so. She is the only native speaker in her class. She is neither the best nor the worst in her class. She is not held back by being in the minority as a first language English speaker.

Many countries in Eastern/Central Euopre have a standard 3 years maternity leave (not all paid obviously). It is culturally normal therefore for mothers to stay home with their children until they begin kindergarten. It does not mean they are lazy and looking for benefits as others (not the OP) have suggested.

We have never had an issue at a park or soft play area in the way you describe. Both my DDs will play with anyone, regardless of whether they have a common language. Perhaps if you communicated a more accepting and open attitude towards others they would smile and welcome you and your children would integrate more. My kids have never been shy about going up to other children - social confidence is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. The fact the first thing you say is that you are sad you are in the minority as a white person suggests that you feel very insecure. Perhaps if you sought out opportunities to meet and get to know some of the parents of these immigrant communities (at a local community centre etc) you would realise they are first and foremost mothers like you, who have dreams and aspirations for themselves and their children like you, who have insecurities and fears, just like you. Sometimes our cultures can clash and misunderstandings arise: but you will never overcome that if you retreat into suggesting that all of the 'problems' come from 'them' because 'they' are different from you. How would you feel if a parent wrote on here to say a white woman with mixed race children was at the park and she was sad as it meant there were no white kids for hers to play with? You would, quite rightly be furious and hurt that someone dismissed children like yours as playmates based on their skin colour.

Whether you intend to or not you come across as bigoted. The fact you married a man of mixed race doesn't give you a get out of jail card to make offensive, stereotyping and unpleasant comments and say 'I can't be racist because my husband isn't white.' Blanket generalisations about entire national or ethnic groups is racist, which makes some of the posts you have written racist.

I have/had 4 kids and I think I can remember one occasion when I had an altercation with another mother.

One in 24 years. And that was because she smacked her own child hard across the face.

You sound a bit ready for a fight op if I may say so.

Calm down dear.

As regards 'have I got news for you' last night

Fruit cake or looney.

He thought of a school with 45 nationalities fills me with complete and utter.... Joy. Surely we must be on the way to solving racism - and half of the world's problems - with that level of integration? Can but hope anyway.