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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to be the minority where I live?

734 replies

Charlottehines · 12/04/2014 09:18

It really saddens me that in parks and soft plays with my children, that I am in the minority and my children can't play with other children there as they all play together and obviously can't speak English.
I'm in no way racist, my husband is of mixed origin but I do find it incredibly sad that my children are growing up the minority especially when these other groups make no effort to integrate with other mums or the children.
Am I completely unreasonable to feel sad about this?

OP posts:
AndHarry · 12/04/2014 09:19

IME children will play with other children whether they share a language and culture or not.

Coldlightofday · 12/04/2014 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

angelos02 · 12/04/2014 09:21

YANBU

Charlottehines · 12/04/2014 09:22

Well I wish that was the case as they certainly don't play with mine or any English children apart from hitting them occasionally :(

OP posts:
formerbabe · 12/04/2014 09:22

Where do you live? I have lived in very mixed areas before and not encountered this problem.
I do find people of different nationalities tend to stick together quite a lot. I don't see a great deal of integretation amongst adults but children are much more open.

angelos02 · 12/04/2014 09:24

If the parents aren't making every effort to teach their children English, they clearly aren't bothered about integrating. If they themselves can't speak English, how on earth are they able to work In the UK?

Charlottehines · 12/04/2014 09:25

Sutton in Surrey
I'm seriously considering moving before they start school but I have no idea where won't have this problem as even down by the coast where my parents live its the same now

OP posts:
adsy · 12/04/2014 09:25

If they themselves can't speak English, how on earth are they able to work In the UK?
herein lies the myth that all immigrants come here to work!

LingDiLong · 12/04/2014 09:27

That does sound a very unusual situation. I've lived in various parts of the UK and never encountered anything like it. I'm very surprised you 'have no idea where won't have this problem'. I'd say the majority of the UK won't have this particular problem.

Charlottehines · 12/04/2014 09:27

Angelos
The ones I'm seeing obviously aren't at work as its midweek in the daytime ( I'm a stay at home mum )
I find it very difficult to deal with at times as when they hit other children / mine and I've had to address the mother I'm usually told to fuck off, they're kids let them get on with it, boys will be boys etc and no discipline whatsoever.

OP posts:
LingDiLong · 12/04/2014 09:30

So they do speak English then?

formerbabe · 12/04/2014 09:30

Op...I really don't understand your last post.

If it helps, a Polish child hit my son in the park, and his mum was very apologetic, told him off and now says hello to me when I see her around the area...and the boys played happily together.

angelos02 · 12/04/2014 09:31

easy if they aren't in the UK to work, why are we allowing this to happen? I know there is talk of the government restricting access to benefits for a period of time when immigrants arrive in the UK. Good. Make it at least three years.

angelos02 · 12/04/2014 09:33

That was for edsy. Damon autocorrect

softlysoftly · 12/04/2014 09:35

Which is it? They can't speak English or they have a good enough grasp to know the old adage "Boys will be Boys"

Hmm
Artandco · 12/04/2014 09:35

Strange.all nationality kids seems to play here ( central London).

LingDiLong · 12/04/2014 09:35

The OP wasn't working either. She is a SAHP. Presumably the other people in the park are SAHPs too. Perhaps their partners are working.

Charlottehines · 12/04/2014 09:35

Well some do although not very good English
Others don't seem to at all and I very rarely hear any of the children speaking English
In glad the mum you encountered was apologetic, the ones I've encountered have been rude, aggressive and don't seem to think their child beating up mine / anyone else's is a problem

OP posts:
MissDuke · 12/04/2014 09:35

Hmm seems a bit odd, they cannot speak English but can swear in English? And all of these children hit your children, and there's no one else for your kids to play with at all? Are you sure you are actually in the UK? Because this sounds like nowhere that I have ever been :-/

By the way, cliques happen everywhere, it has nothing to do with language or culture.

wigglesrock · 12/04/2014 09:35

I'm confused - do the parents speak English or not? Strangely in my experience kids play with kids regardless of language.

usualsuspectt · 12/04/2014 09:35

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Sheldonswhiteboard · 12/04/2014 09:37

If they are EU citizens you can't restrict benefits as they should be entitled to the same as UK citizens as far as I know. How do you know their partners aren't working, maybe they are SAHP - like you?

MrsBungle · 12/04/2014 09:37

My dd was playing with a little girl in the park yesterday for about an hour. The little girl didn't speak English and yet they played happily using hand gestures and body language. It was fascinating to watch as they both just spoke to each other normally in their own language. Dd (age 4) didn't even mention to me that she couldn't understand what the girl was saying and they knew each other's names!

It seems to be the adults with issues, not the children.

Mimishimi · 12/04/2014 09:38

YANBU in some respects OP. I live in a neighbourhood that over the past few years has come to be completely dominated by migrants from South Asia. I wouldn't call it a diverse neighbourhood actually. We've noticed over the last few years that the most recent batch of migrants (

usualsuspectt · 12/04/2014 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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