Trust fund for children set up by pil

[PoppySeed2014]

Completely prepared to be told iabu. I really don't know...

We have 3 dc and are struggling a bit financially. Nothing dreadful but we've got into about £3k debt paying nursery fees etc.

My pil have set up trust funds for our dc which they (and only they) can access at 18. The money can't be touched by anyone till then.

Aibu to feel a bit weird that my pil have effectively entrusted my dc with large chunks of cash that my dh and I have no say over? I'm hoping they'll be mature, responsible 18 year olds who'll use the money for university. But... I just feel a bit uneasy.

I would rather the money was put into an account that we can use for their education now or save for when we feel they'll be responsible enough to use wisely.

Hit me with it. Aibu?!

How the other half lives, eh?

I think you are just adding things to your OP to make more sense of this.

If you are worried about the age simply talk to the PILs and see if the money can be released later on or in stages.

Your children will need a lot more than a six figure sum to never have to work in their lives! While a six figure sum is a huge amount of money, you need exhorbitant amounts of money not to have to work. Effectively you need a capital which in a conservative inverstment produces an interest, after taxes, equal to the wage you would like to be earning - that is a lot of money. I doubt this is a serious worry therefore.

Temporarily being in debt to the sum of 3k knowing you can pay it off within a few months, arranged purely to finance a house move that presumably will benefit all the family is hardly being financially irresponsible ffs! I'm certainly very happy with my own decision to take out a loan of 25k to enable us to move 5 years ago which we've recently paid off. It meant we could buy a fantastic house for life at a bargain price and we've tightened our belts a bit topay it off. Presumably the same as the op is planning.

I bet the op is kicking herself for mentioning this small debt because it has meant that most people have got on their bloody high house and missed the point.

I think saving money in a Trust for grandchildren is a completely different thing from paying off family debts. So I don't think your in laws are doing anything wrong. But I can see why you are a bit peeved as you probably think the money could be made use of now.

YABU. Your PILs are adults, they can decide what to do with their own money. Your children will be adults when they receive the money and can make their own decisions as well. If they spend it all on frivolous items, there is nothing you can do about it.

I think it is very generous of your PILs to provide this money for their grandchildren. IMO it would be unreasonable of you to think you should control this gift in any way.

YABU to expect your PIL to let you decide how their money should and shouldn't be spent.

I can understand why you wouldn't want your children to have the money at 18 though. Perhaps you could discuss this with your PIL to see if the age could be raised.

It's a bit like an 18 yr old wining the lottery. There seems to be many sad stories when that happens. The PIL's haven't really thought through the whole implications and how they could be doing more harm than good. My PIL did this. Has the great idea of signing their house over in a three way spit between my two kids (their only GC) and their daughter who has no children. We had to sit them down and explain how unfair this was and instead of being a good thing could leave their children arguing and bitter - not what they had wanted at all.

My parents and ILs both set up funds for my DC. We didn't tell them about it for years, until we had to. They are appreciative of it, but in no rush to spend any of it. Thankfully.