to think attending Tough Mudder isn�t a sensible idea

[JustforthisAIBU]

NC for this but will probably still out me in RL.
Completely out of the blue DP has decided to sign up to Tough Mudder which is later this year. If all goes to plan our first DC will be 6 weeks old when he competes.

He isn't particularly fit and doesn't partake in regular exercise, he has a physical job but would be out of breath after running for 5 minutes or walking up a steep hill for example. He has never visited a gym in his life and I imagine a 12 mile military obstacle course would be very difficult for him. He said he will start improving his general fitness before the event by running every other night etc. I question if he will want to be embark on a new fitness regime after working FT on very little sleep. Obviously neither of us have experienced the early newborn days yet but I think we both need to prepare ourselves for weeks of horrible sleep deprivation.

It costs 95 to attend plus additional expenses of at least 60 for travel, parking, food and drinks. We are currently 'comfortable' with our income but sometimes funds are stretched, by the time he attends the event I will be on SMP and he will have received 2 weeks SPP. I already have real concerns about how we will manage the household budget whilst having such a reduced income for 9 months and have been frantically saving as much as possible. 150 will be a lot of money then even if he doesn't think it is now.

He also said he would stop drinking while training, I did stifle a laugh at this - wish he would be this supportive while I'm abstaining.

Normally I would be very supportive that he wants to pursue a new activity / hobby, we could both do with improving our fitness and I would offer to go jogging with him for some moral support if he wanted but I can't help thinking the timing is shit and this idea lacks common sense.

So tell me, is my hormonal pregnancy brain taking over and not seeing this in perspective? AIBU?

Wow that's really impressive McPie! I think he will be happy with the t-shirt and headband. Perhaps I could just buy him them from eBay? (I jest of course -just before I get shot down about being unsupportive!)
It's good to hear from someone who has done it before, do you think a 5mile walk leading to a jog once a week would be sufficient. What was the impact like on your knees?

I do think you are overthinking this, have your baby and see how things go. Much as you may have difficulties, you may not and everything goes so swimmingly that you might want to go watch.

It's a fluid situation and I would just wait and see and make firm decisions nearer the time.

I would also stop worrying about the impact on his knees. Your husband is the best judge of that and I'm sure he will adjust his training should he need to. I have dodgy knees and I don't think it has ever crossed my h's mind to worry about it as he knows I don't want to injure myself.

It's a great thing to do and I'm jealous!!

You seriously dumped them? Mine get muddy most weeks after orienteering events/ off road training. I put them in a plastic bag and take them home and was them. A couple of minutes under a tap and they look great again. At 90 a pair my studs are too expensive to chuck out. It sounds badly organised if you have to hang around for the obstacles.
Many orienteering events involved wading through bogs and mud. Why don't all the tough mudders do orienteering? You get to navigate rather than play follow my leader and there are fences to climb and crags and bracken to navigate, gorse you can run through rather than round if you're not in enough pain?

If he isn't bothered about his time and has, as most men do, some upper body strength he will be fine, it took me 5 hours to complete.
There was a team of older guys who passed us half way through who said that they wanted to prove that they could do it with very little training at their age.
It is all about team work and a mudder helps other mudders so to say I had random hands shoving my arse over walls was an understatement.
If you are worried about him backing out get him to raise money for a cause close to your hearts or something local to help him stay focused.
Anyway I'm off to the gym to do my 50kg squats, training for mudder is in my blood now and as the Scotland one is less than a 15 min bus ride away and they are here for the next 5 years I should be ripped by the time they move on .

Mine were old trainers that were as good as stuffed when I started and they got dumped as I couldn't even see the laces to untie them, last obstacle was electro shock therapy where I had to run through cables zapping me over the muddiest section of mud ever!

Most people throw their trainers away afterwards. True, trainers get muddy in other situations but with one obstacle called "The Mud Mile", this tends to be muddier than most. If I remember rightly, the mountain of trainers get donated once cleaned up or something? maybe not

Also, although you're only kidding about buying the gear, check out how much the headbands and tshirts go for on eBay and I'm pretty sure you'd much rather pay the 95

TM definitely is about teamwork. It's really nice to watch everyone helping each other out actually.

Oh dear - it strikes me that your DH is probably trying to think up an activity that will 'prove' that life goes on after a baby. It sounds like he has no idea of how tired he'll be 6 weeks in. The idea of taking on a long race at this point in time does not seem terribly sensibly - however, I can see how he might need to do something at this point in time. Can you not persuade DH to choose a cheaper event - like a 10k/half marathon?

Sorry, this is a bit of a personal rant - but I absolutely HATE the ethos of Tough Mudder. I think it's a testosterone-fuelled and ridiculous event that is full of idiots trying to prove a point. You don't even have to be that fit to do it. I used to do fell running, and 17 miles up and down the steepest hills in the Lake District is a lot harder... but no-one shows up thinking they are somehow Rambo doing it. The people are really fit, but very gentle and funny and quiet about it.

You don't even have to be that fit to do it.

See.

I love the ethos of Tough Mudder. It got my DP into being active and since doing it (which was his first jaunt into exercise) he's kept it up and I don't think that's a bad thing.

You do know he'll be crippled for a week even if he's uninjured?

A team from work did one, and two of them were sent home on Monday morning for being too tired to drive safely. Slurring, poor attention, gross errors on pre-brief paperwork. Imagine someone like that with a newborn, especially a new dad.

DS took the day off work the next day to recover and then was fine. Understandably achey, but fine. I do think you and a lot of other people on here are overthinking this.

DP, not DS. Doh! DS is one. Now, that would be silly!

I quite agree that I am over thinking this but I'm a first time parent with absolutely no idea of what to expect. The thought of looking after a newborn for 11 hours a day then my partner returning from work and leaving again to do a couple of hours training 5 times a week is concerning me, will I cope, could I start to resent him, isn't it only fair that he supports me as much as possible for the first few weeks? If you ladies have managed those early days without feeling the need for that level of support I applaud you but the only 'experience' I have to go on is the advice from friends that the first couple of months is absolute hell and you need every but of help you can get.

I had thought it was an intense event requiring lots of training, I know he would be disappointed with himself if he didn't complete due to lack of training. However, the advice about the level of fitness varies so much. If the only training he needs to do is 5m jog once a week then that is easily doable and I'm a little more relaxed.

The knee thing, yes of course he is capable of making the judgement himself. He is having physio at the moment in the hope he won't need an op to repair them both and I just suggested that he speaks to a medical person (consultant / physio) to get their opinion first. Seems sensible to me

Just, that's exactly why I said wait and see. You might not have a terrible first few months but it's obviously understandable to worry about it.

Won't be crippled for a week but will probably hobble a bit initially after the run and feel cagey for a day or two. Nothing to get in the way of looking after babies or working. P

struggling yes I suggested a local 10k mud race obstacle course thing that is in a couple of months which would be useful as training and also will let him gauge his fitness level for the TM event but he wasn't interested. He doesn't want to do marathons / cycle events / running club either. He just wants to do TM.

Achey not cagey

Disgrace, those symptoms sound more like a hangover than the after effects of TM!

Did you read my post earlier? He won't be leaving you for 2 hours five nights a week. He will only be running for a few minutes initially!! He only needs 3 short runs of 45mins or one hour plus one weekly longer run which slowly needs to elongate till he hits the two hour mark. He will hit the once weekly two hour run a few weeks before the event.

It's light late and early now so really he could run early morning or after giving you a break at the end of the day. For example if he gets in at 6, he could run at 8pm and would be back 45 mins later to help out again. He can use a torch and reflective jacket if getting dark.

Can he do some of the shorter runs in his lunch break?

Nicknacky - We can see how things go before he makes a final decision, I do think that unless we have a miracle sleepy baby I will still be feeling those things even if the birth goes to plan, and yes I do look on the bleak side!
We would also be out of pocket by 100 by that stage if he doesnt go, not the end of the world I know but to us that is a lot of money to throw away whilst being on SMP and SPP

Well, if he does it you are still out of pocket iyswim?

Look, I'm coming from the viewpoint of someone who was back on a cross trainer 4 weeks after a c section and while breast feeding lol! It's not all doom and gloom with a newborn.

I'm really pro exercise and I think ambition and challenge is to be encouraged. I appreciate not everyone will see it the same way.

Discombob Yes I did read your post, sorry it's difficult to remember who said what
Did you read mine? "However, the advice about the level of fitness varies so much. If the only training he needs to do is 5m jog once a week then that is easily doable and I'm a little more relaxed"

I think your other post said -
"Towards the very end he will need to do one two hour once a week. The other three weekly runs might be 45 mins/one hour."

At the moment he can work out every night for 3 hours if he likes, I would quite enjoy the peace and quiet and TV to myself
When his training needs to get more intensive it would be around my due date and in the weeks following but (some of) the advice here seems that it may not be so bad

Are you planning on breastfeeding? Because honestly, my DH really couldn't do a lot anyway in those early weeks, both my babies were permanently attached to me and the most he could do was change the odd nappy.

I'd let him do it, TBH, on that condition that if he wants to be training for this and spending on it he needs to forgo lads nights out for the foreseeable.

theres no way i would ever consider it after a local event caused loads of people to come down with some sort of terrbikle longlasting diarhea and vomiting thing, caught from cow poo in the mud.

Nicknacky we would be out of pocket but he would have achieved something worthwhile from it!
I'm pro exercise and do really want to encourage him, I just find it frustrating that he is so blinkered and won't consider any other options other than TM - even as practice or training. I do think if this was about improving his fitness and taking on a hobby there are loads of different events he could participate in this year that don't have the same timing then he would be well prepared for next years TM and I would happily be there to cheer him along.