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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if full time working mums cope?

129 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 21:01

I am fed up with teaching . I actually think I hate it and I have been threatened by kids and unsupported by slt too many times so I quit.
The holidays are great for dd and I though. Tomorrow I have an interview in a law firm for a secretary.
I am chuffed as I have been interested in being a legal secretary for some years now. However it will be 9 to 5 full time and less holidays.
I will be thrilled not to have to plan in the evenings etc but worried I won't see much of dd. I will still be able to spend time with dd won't I? We already have our summer holidays booked so I can request holiday for that time...should I get it?

OP posts:
kungfupannda · 10/04/2014 07:42

What type of law firm? If it's a smallish rural firm that does a lot of family/crime/low income type work, then you may find that it starts to struggle over the next couple of years. Criminal funding is being cut to the bone, and family is likely to follow very soon - it's already had substantial cuts.

My department just left a medium sized general practice firm. The family department will probably go next, and there are a couple of more commercial departments that are struggling. It's not a great time to go into smaller firms.

kungfupannda · 10/04/2014 07:42

Sorry, meant to say, our secretaries have had redundancies/paycuts/reduced hours as a result of the move.

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 10/04/2014 07:52

I am more tham happy to work as support staff now...then work my way up to being sblegsl exec. Believe ne...I want liwly and unglamorous right now. Teaching is too mucg stress and responsiibility.

OP posts:
cottoncandy · 10/04/2014 07:55

I am a lawyer at a firm in the City. My secretary works 9am to 4.30pm and always leaves on time to get back for her children. It can be interesting if you get involved in the matters. I would look into maybe trying to do some of the company secretarial work at the firm if they have any, that can increase your value and be more interesting than the standard legal secretary stuff. You can also be involved in doing property searches etc if it is a conveyancing firm.

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 10/04/2014 08:00

Besides tbe plan is to stay in small rural firm for now then transfer pt to a law firm that isnt struggling.
I do apprechiate the advice ladies but believe me ive had about 3 breakdowns since teaching.
When I did my training I was pregnant and I had some students write that they eould kill my baby. SLt BLAMED ME!
I cannot imsgine this happening in a law firm and I think that non teachers glamorise the holidays etc.
One thing for sure is that the term time stress od teaching is such that I snap at dd too much.
I am scarred and disillusioned by teaching as a.profession and to be a lowly secretary sounds like pure heavan!

OP posts:
Gurnie · 10/04/2014 08:11

Not sure why so many people are telling op she is mad to leave teaching when she has made it really clear that she absolutely hates pretty much everything about it. Therefore I would say that it's really important that she does leave.

So, assuming that you do leave op, you will have to do something else and whatever that is wont have the holidays etc associated with teaching. Unless you do work as a TA but obviously you will take a big pay cut. I would give the other job a go. Yes, you will have to find childcare but that is the case for any job other than one in a school isn't it? I'm not underestimating that, I am a teacher myself (I absolutely love it though and am fortunate to work in a lovely school).

I'd take the job. See how you get on. You don't have to do it forever. I have no idea whether you will work the advertised hours or more since I've never worked in a law firm but I would think it'd be really interesting and if you don't like it you can look around and find something else.

AbbeyBartlet · 10/04/2014 08:21

lowly secretary Hmm

OP - that is really quite rude. There is nothing 'lowly' about being a secretary in any industry.

coffeeistheanswer · 10/04/2014 08:25

I'm a single full time working mum. You just have to plan and spend lots on childcare - play schemes etc

have you thought about any other related jobs? Academia maybe?

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 10/04/2014 08:25

Abbey...im quoting what another poster said. I think its a great job. Have started my secretarial diploma.
I challenge anyone to be a secondary school teacher in this day and age!

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 10/04/2014 08:28

It's exhausting

Not sure what your commute will be like, that's something to factor in

Holidays - well when you work full time in an industry with lots of other parents, you may find that as the newest person you won't get priority with the dates you want in the summer. You can only ask. Why don't you stay where you are till the end of this teaching year, take your long summer holiday and start a new job in September.

Not sure how much leave you will get but it will be a culture shock going from what you have now to effectively public holidays plus 4 weeks. I generally get 1 half term, 1 week at Christmas and do 10 days in the summer and 4 days scattered throughout the year.

If you hate what you are doing now it is worth changing though.

BitOutOfPractice · 10/04/2014 08:29

It never ceases to amaze me how often teachers believe that everything is golden and wonderful in the private sector - that managers will be supportive and that jobs will be stimulating and fulfilling with no stress or problems.

Some of them are. Many of them aren't like that at all.

If I were the op I would look to change schools, not career

AbbeyBartlet · 10/04/2014 08:31

notcontent I think 'low status' is also a bit demeaning. I get the opportunity to do quite a lot of legal work too as I know my area of the law very well - if my boss thought I was 'low status' I would be feeling pretty shit

AbbeyBartlet · 10/04/2014 08:34

If you go into it 100% committed, it's a great job and very interesting. Also depends on the area of law, although I work long hours, my colleagues in other departments, eg conveyancing etc don't.

bigTillyMint · 10/04/2014 08:40

OP I think you are doing the right thing getting out of teaching - it sounds like it was never the right job for you and if it is causing you such stress, then the holidays are definitely not worth it.

Good luck!

OcadoSubstitutedMyHummus · 10/04/2014 08:55

Being a legal secretary can give a decent work life balance. Exactly what you'll do will of course depend on the firm but it will generally be a lot of audio typing, amending documents, arranging meetings and general admin. In some firms you might be able to help a bit with things like searches in property but bluntly it will normally be the grunt work, the lawyers have to do the legal thinking. Little glamour and little buzz.

What you need to think hard about is that you are there to support the lawyers and in a law firm everything is centered around their needs in supporting the clients. It is a big adjustment to go from being the front line to being the support to the front line. You have to be willing to be told what to do by arrogant 22 year olds fresh out of law school (I used to be one) and be willing to suck up them becoming more senior and better paid whilst you remain in your role. I'd think about it very hard

I would also flag that IME there aren't that may PT roles. I know a few but almost all are women who have asked to cut hours post mat leave or women who have been recruited to job share with them. So be pragmatic about the chances of a PT job coming up.

MaryWestmacott · 10/04/2014 08:56

OP - have you looked at private/prep schools? Both for teaching posts and also support roles in them? There a private school near us who are currently advertising for a library admin support, term time only + 1 week stock taking in the summer - it's 5 days a week and would be ideal for me in a couple of years when I've got both DCs at school/preschool - at which point there's going to be no jobs like that around!

Agree, the holidays are going to be a culture shock - for instance, joining a job this late in the year, you'll probably have to work Christmas Eve as others will have booked it off already. You'll get 25th and 26th off and then be expected back into work, and few holiday clubs or childminders are available 27th - 31st December - so that'll have to come out of your leave. You'll have 4 weeks in total. For everything. School holidays are 13 weeks. That's 9 weeks you need to cover without leave - even if your DD's dad takes his 4 weeks, that's still 5 weeks with noone available. If they have a strike day, that's an extra day to cover. If they close the school for an election day, that's an extra day to cover. If they close the school because of snow, if you could get to work, then your company might well expect you to take it as holiday.

I must say, I work as an EA in a search firm with a generous 5 weeks leave and currently debating going back after having DC2, as DC1 will be starting school this september, the holiday cover is feeding into my worry about returning, nurseries being open all year round have spoilt me!

wordfactory · 10/04/2014 09:11

I think what sort of job it turns out to be OP depends who you end up working for. If you worked for DH you would have great pay and holidays but a highly exacting boss with few soft sides! If you worked for me you would have to spend a fair bit of time tidying my stuff!

Gurnie · 10/04/2014 09:12

Op has said more than once that she has worked in several schools and it is not only the schools she dislikes, she actively hates teaching. In those circumstances I think she probably will find another job more enjoyable, not perfect of course but better than enduring something that you find intolerable.

Chunderella · 10/04/2014 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilsonFrickett · 10/04/2014 09:22

Oh I definitely agree op should leave teaching, but she is definitely casting a rosy hue over her next potential move. Without meaning to be bitchy, I concur with a pp - it's not the first time I've came across a teacher who romanticises the private sector.

ballinacup · 10/04/2014 09:27

The only law firms that aren't struggling right now are those that don't deal with legal aid at all. So that leaves the large financial/media firms, most of which are in London.

You would be fighting for secretarial roles at those firms with law grads from non red brick unis who can't get training contracts. Now is not the time to venture into the legal field in any capacity, firms are folding week after week, redundancies and pay cuts are rife.

I get you hate teaching and that's fine. But stay public sector, whatever you do. Have you looked for school admin roles so you keep the great holidays? What about admin/clerical in the NHS? I have very fond memories of working in an NHS payroll department.

Thurlow · 10/04/2014 09:39

Just to echo what ballinacup says, while my law firm is lovely and doing very well and there are none of the problems working in secretarial/support that others have mentioned - there are so many law school grads without a training contract that they are hiring them instead of legal secretaries, as it is cheaper. Also they don't offer p/t jobs either.

Quangle · 10/04/2014 09:43

Just coming on to reiterate about law being a terrible place to be if you are in a firm which depends on legal aid. They are folding at a rate of knots and the industry is shrinking hugely. Different if you are in a firm providing services to corporates but certainly criminal and family are in almost terminal decline. And if you saw where my BIL works (criminal law) you would hot foot it back to teaching - obviously he deals with some very tough people, tough situations and has a horrible work environment to manage as well.

I am a single parent who works FT - it's manageable but it won't be the same as you have now. You will not see DD as much. That's unavoidable. Summers together just don't exist outside of teaching. But that's actually normal so it doesn't worry me. We still have plenty of time and fun together - but that's all I do. Work and children. Literally nothing else. No nights out with friends really, no gym, no time to myself ever. I manage but it wouldn't take much to push me over the edge in terms of stress.

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 10/04/2014 18:36

I don't romanticise the private sector one little bit. Had the interview; really liked it. Firm is making a profit every year so bonuses are a given, closed between Christmas and new year, overtime paid time and a half, very local , (10 minute walk) , pension. Now just have to wait and agonise.
I'm still not sure I want to give up the holidays...for dds sake. If it wasn't for her I'd take it like a shot!

OP posts:
frankie4 · 10/04/2014 18:59

I am a secretary in a law firm and I really enjoy it. I certainly don't feel low status and I feel the work I do is valued and respected.

But I no longer work full time. The summer holidays are the easy bit, with a big choice of summer camps. The main problem are the shorter holidays such as inset days and half term, when there are no camps etc.