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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if full time working mums cope?

129 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 21:01

I am fed up with teaching . I actually think I hate it and I have been threatened by kids and unsupported by slt too many times so I quit.
The holidays are great for dd and I though. Tomorrow I have an interview in a law firm for a secretary.
I am chuffed as I have been interested in being a legal secretary for some years now. However it will be 9 to 5 full time and less holidays.
I will be thrilled not to have to plan in the evenings etc but worried I won't see much of dd. I will still be able to spend time with dd won't I? We already have our summer holidays booked so I can request holiday for that time...should I get it?

OP posts:
JohnCusacksWife · 09/04/2014 22:11

Personally, if I was a teacher, esp a lone parent, with a school age child you'd have to drag me kicking and screaming from a teaching job. Have you really thought how you'll cover all the many school holidays while working full time?

thebody · 09/04/2014 22:11

No that's why I personally canned a good career and then a good home based business (still to many hours) and became a lowly paid TA.

Philoslothy · 09/04/2014 22:12

I think your problem is your school rather than teaching. I do think we underestimate the value of all those holidays.

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 22:13

We are lucky enough to have a fabulous summer holiday school in our local town.

OP posts:
thebody · 09/04/2014 22:15

Op you would be unhinged to leave teaching and do this.

School days and school holidays are the Mecca for mums.

And remember it's a lot easier to send them to holiday care/cm etc when they are little.

It's when they get to 12/16 you really need to be there. Because that's when they need you watching them.

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 22:15

I have been threatened now and unsupported by slt in no less than 3 schools so no....its' s not just that school. I actually hate the nature of teaching as a job.

OP posts:
Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 22:17

Teaching actually makes me feel unhinged and messes with my mental health. The holidays are not worth it I tell you. I do secondary btw. I might look at work as a teaching assistant.

OP posts:
Philoslothy · 09/04/2014 22:18

If you hate the job, fair enough. My sample size is similar (so really small to draw any real conclusions) but I have never been bullied by SLT. I find teaching very family friendly, already planning baby 6 thanks to teaching!

Wantsunshine · 09/04/2014 22:19

Think hard which I am sure you are before you quit. It is so hard working full time without having all the summer holidays etc off. There are holiday clubs etc. but there is nothing more stressful than looking at your watch Ina meeting knowing you have to rush out and hope for no traffic when you commute a long distance.

Wantsunshine · 09/04/2014 22:22

Ok you should be getting support if the children are threatening you and that needs to be sorted. It doesn't sound like the school is good enough that you are going to get it. Would you feel better transferring to a primary school?

thebody · 09/04/2014 22:24

Then you are at a shit school op and there are lots out there.

You shouldn't feel unsafe and that's dreadful.

Could you apply elsewhere?

The comps round here are outstanding and the staff are brilliant.

thebody · 09/04/2014 22:27

Don't quit like this. You will loose. If you are unsupported you need to fight back, are you in a union?

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 22:29

I have always been intetested in the law from an intellectual point of view, I am rubbish at classroom management and tbh I no longer want to plan untill 11pm every night. This will not change according to what school im at.
I think my plan is go for interview, teach till summer hols then look around gor a part time secretarial role which is much more family friendly than ft.

OP posts:
VelvetSpoon · 09/04/2014 22:29

You're being naïve expecting a legal second job to be 9-5. It won't be. Law firms are not usually understanding about childcare issues, short notice days off etc. Your kid, your problem.

It's also a horrendous time for the legal profession, firms (lots of small ones, but some of the bigger ones too) are folding weekly. All the lawyers I know who are in high street firms are looking for other work because they fear it's only a matter of time.

You'd be foolish to give up a secure role as a teacher for this job imho. Could you not teach in a private school? Or college ? Surely there are better alternatives which would give a similar level of holiday.

I'm a lawyer and a single parent to teen DC, I have no family support, am out of the house 10-12 hours a day, have always worked FT so know no different. Its certainly not been easy, and often I wished I had a more child-friendly occupation!

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 22:30

Tthe body. I hate teachibg. Full stop. I hated the training. I will loose what? We were saying in the staff room that no other profession looks foward to the holidays as much. There is a reason for that!

OP posts:
StackALee · 09/04/2014 22:31

A friend of mine has carried on teaching full time with three kids.

I don't know how she does it but at least she doesn't have to worry about covering school holidays.

I only have one and when he starts school my husband and I are going to have to some serious planning ahead. :(

scottishmummy · 09/04/2014 22:31

You've been fortunate in a job with long holidays,I guess that's your worry about regular job
Of course ft workers cope,by good planning,summer clubs,after school,holiday clubs
Are you sure you want to gp from autonomous professional to being legal secretary.i can't see the appeal

Jollyphonics · 09/04/2014 22:32

Yes single mums cope and so will you, but be prepared for the fact that you will see a lot lot less of your DD. You will find that often you can't get school holidays off, so when she's around you'll be working, and when you're off she'll be at school.
I think if I were in your situation I'd look to find another role in education in some capacity, so I could keep the long holidays.
There's nothing worse than the kids breaking up for school holidays, all excited, then really upset because it turns out you can't spend time with them.
If you need to quit teaching for your mental health then so be it, but don't kid yourself it'll improve your family life because it most certainly won't.

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 22:33

Im not actually in a permanent teaching role...I am doing supply. Very part time atm.

OP posts:
StackALee · 09/04/2014 22:33

? "We were saying in the staff room that no other profession looks foward to the holidays as much. There is a reason for that!"

No ther profession has holidays like teaching,

I have no doubt that it's really hard being a teacher and if you hate it then maybe change what you do but there are many reasons why things will be harder if you do.

Iwillorderthefood · 09/04/2014 22:34

Have you thought of going into primary instead? Or specialising in roles where you can use your education knowledge but not necessarily teach. You would still need to cover holidays but perhaps this might be better?

maddening · 09/04/2014 22:35

Try private tutoring?

I was thinking about my own situation today - took voluntary redundancy which started a month after my mat leave finished so was off with ds till he was 2.4 as my package gave me a year and a half salary essentially and have been back in work full time nearly a year. As it's a preschool we have been taking holidays to cover childcare in school hols so this year he will only be in holiday club for 7 days in total. I was thinking how well it's worked out despite both being in full time work - and one of the thoughts was that I don't know how single parents cope with full time work - I don't know if I could do it on my own. That said you said your ex is v hands on etc so if you have support and he can pick up extra childcare in the holidays by you both using annual leave to cover the holidays then it might be workable.

If you are not happy then definitely look around - what's your specialism? Could you do a masters and teach at higher education level where you have students who want to learn? Don't sell yourself short just to get out of teaching.

scottishmummy · 09/04/2014 22:38

In fairness only school staff have their kids off in summer with them jollyphonic
In real work of world children know working parents wont be off with them
Is it your hope you'll have more time off as secretary,has it been confirmed by employer

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 22:38

Tthe body. I hate teachibg. Full stop. I hated the training. I will loose what? We were saying in the staff room that no other profession looks foward to the holidays as much. There is a reason for that!

OP posts:
Jollyphonics · 09/04/2014 22:39

Trust me OP, plenty of professions look forward to the holidays as much as teachers. But for them it's not "the holidays", it's a week here and there, amounting to 5 or 6 weeks per year in total.
Teachers work extremely hard, I realise that, and they have a very very tough job, so I entirely understand your desire to change your career path. But do bear in mind that your family life will diminish massively.

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