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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if full time working mums cope?

129 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 21:01

I am fed up with teaching . I actually think I hate it and I have been threatened by kids and unsupported by slt too many times so I quit.
The holidays are great for dd and I though. Tomorrow I have an interview in a law firm for a secretary.
I am chuffed as I have been interested in being a legal secretary for some years now. However it will be 9 to 5 full time and less holidays.
I will be thrilled not to have to plan in the evenings etc but worried I won't see much of dd. I will still be able to spend time with dd won't I? We already have our summer holidays booked so I can request holiday for that time...should I get it?

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 09/04/2014 22:39

Define "cope"

To me that means the same number of children going to bed as got up in the morning. It means they have been fed at the appropriate times, dressed, schooled etc. If that includes food being healthy and with 5 a day, clothes freshly washed and ironed and school being got to on time, they are bonuses but not essential. Housework was mentioned once in the this house, but I am not sure what it means so it never really happened Wink

Oh and I am currently SAHM but have been and will be soon, a WOHM both as a single and married parent, but standards are shockingly low!

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 22:40

I am looking into other roles in education too atm. Im not sure im ready for this ft legal role atm.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 09/04/2014 22:40

OP I have to agree that you will just be swapping one lot of stress for another one, not least the holiday childcare issue!

scottishmummy · 09/04/2014 22:41

It's not a legal role.its secretarial post
You're not coming across as having planned or given this deep thought

Permanentlyexhausted · 09/04/2014 22:42

You'll manage just fine. Just make sure you have good and flexible childcare sorted. It isn't just the school holidays you need to worry about. You'll also need cover for days when your DD is ill, and when the school is closed for TD days/polling days/strike action.

MincingOnBy · 09/04/2014 22:46

I am a lawyer at a large city firm and the secretaries leave at their contracted times. They seem to have very good work life balance and I don't see any reason why the job is not compatible with family life. However, you say that you are interested in the intellectual side of law and you probably won't get much involvement as a legal secretary. It is an admin role.

If you are not enjoying teaching I think it's reasonable enough to make this change. Why do something that makes you miserable?!

Philoslothy · 09/04/2014 22:48

I think we look forward to the holidays because we have so many of them!

PansOnFire · 09/04/2014 22:51

I totally see where you are coming from with regards to teaching, I've been in 2 awful schools which were unsupportive of staff when the students were inappropriate and it made life unmanageable. I've often found that in schools with poor behaviour the pressure on the teachers is worse, they have to be accountable for much more and the paperwork is immense. It is like that for most teachers but in a 'nice' school it is much less demanding.

I've reduced my working hours as a teacher to 4 days a week and have found it much better. I'm actually enjoying my job and although I'm not picking up the pay I once was it is completely worth it. I'm in a lovely school and this makes all the difference, however, the classes are mine and the students know that I am their teacher rather than being someone on supply. I think this is why you are having such a hard time, I can't imagine a worse job that supply teaching as the behaviour of the students decreases immensely when they think you aren't a 'proper teacher' - their words, not mine. It's terrible for them and it's a job that I'd never have the strength to do. Why don't you try to work part time for a different school for a while and see how that goes? I don't think any other job compares when you have children, the 'holiday' time is great because we all know teachers don't actually have 13 weeks off like the students but it gives the option of working from home for the majority of those weeks.

Law is a notoriously difficult profession, but I don't know from experience. My friend has quit law and is training to be a teacher.

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2014 22:51

I am happy to do a secretarial role for now but be around the buzz of a law firm.
It was one of my childhood dreams to be a solicitor and one plan I had was to progresd from being a legal secretary to a paralegal. It is also a dream of mine to bea great mum to dd. I d love to 'have Iit all. ' Horrid phrase anyway!

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 09/04/2014 22:53

You do realise a legal secretary spends 85% of her (and it is always her) time audio typing, 5% filing and the other 10% mopping up nervous breakdowns from loon lawyers don't you? An intellectual curiousity about the law will not be nurtured. It is a really dull job. (ok, thats imo) And you will be typing tested at the interview, if you don't have at least 80 wpm you won't even be considered.

scottishmummy · 09/04/2014 22:55

Sorry but its somewhat unrealistic that proximity to solicitor fulfils your buzz of law firm
You'll be in admin support role not mulling over finer points of delict.or buzzing
Really you're being somewhat unrealistic in your posts.be more realistic,more focused

Jollyphonics · 09/04/2014 22:55

As I say, you need to think long and hard about how you will feel about only having one week off in the summer holidays. Every day for 6 weeks your DD will ask what are we doing today Mummy, and you'll have to tell her that you're going to work and you'll see her after tea when the day is over. Honestly, it's heartbreaking.

Bogeyface · 09/04/2014 22:56

Instead of going into a legal secretary role (which it sounds like you may not be qualified for anyway) why not stick with your job but study law via an open course? Treat it as a hobby that you could build on in the future?

You talk about the "buzz" of a law firm, I think you will be disappointed.

Philoslothy · 09/04/2014 22:57

I would find a job in a better school and watch a bit of Law and Order to get a buzz,

WhoNickedMyName · 09/04/2014 22:59

I think you're labouring under a misapprehension with regards to the 'buzz' of a law firm and what exactly a legal secretary role entails. It's mostly quite tedious.

Do you have any secretarial type qualifications or experience? It sounds to me like you have absolutely no real idea of what you could be signing up for.

VelvetSpoon · 09/04/2014 23:01

Seriously, the arse is dropping out of the legal profession, what with so many firms closing, decimation of legal aid, outsourcing of secretarial services, etc etc, any job you get now may well not exist in 12 months, let alone 5 years. Not a good time to go into law in ANY capacity, frankly.

Secretaries in big City firms leave on time because those firms have twilight/weekend support staff. Smaller, or non-City firms don't have that luxury, and the expectation will be that if X needs doing before you go home, that you stay to get it done.

WhoNickedMyName · 09/04/2014 23:02

Have a look at the CILEx website. I think the role you're dreaming of is more legal exec than secretary.

scottishmummy · 09/04/2014 23:02

Law is hierarchical,the secretaries don't get the buzz or glory.they type,transcribe,file

joybee · 09/04/2014 23:46

I'm a full-time working mum with 3 dc and I cope! I am more organised than I used to be but try and keep things as relaxed as possible. My dh does his share. Dh tends to work 8 - 4 and I work 9ish - 5ish. We have a childminder who looks after our youngest and picks up our older 2 from school a couple of times a wk. The rest of the time they're in after school activities. We buy holidays so get 60 days between us plus bank hols. We make it work. And manage to have a nice life. Hope it works our well for you Smile Smile

thebody · 09/04/2014 23:46

Op I work in a school as a TA. Teachers work hard absolutely but do remember so do other people without the benefits.

Trust me I know it's hard but you have a very good pension, sickness/maternity/package.

Look if you hate teaching then you shouldn't be in it as quite frankly all our kids deserve people who want to teach them.

However you seen to have rose tinted glasses on about the law and child care issues are quite frankly bloody easy when dcs are little.

Gets far harder when they are old enough to be stroppy but not old enough to be left.

Still your call.

Jollyphonics · 10/04/2014 00:05

Joybee OP is a single parent. It's a whole different ball game.

wobblyweebles · 10/04/2014 00:23

I get how hard teaching is. DH used to be a teacher and he worked incredibly hard and found the environment quite toxic. He changed career and his new job has shorter holidays but he's much happier.

My legal sec fiends don't work any more than their contracted hours btw, and one works part time.

AbbeyBartlet · 10/04/2014 00:42

I am a legal secretary and in theory work 9-5 but have been known to have to work until 10 or 11 pm with no notice or overtime pay. I don't think it would be a good job to have if I had a family to consider.

Notcontent · 10/04/2014 00:49

Why would you want to work as a legal secretary is you are a teacher?

Teaching is a profession. As a secretary at a law firm you are support staff. It's not interesting or glamorous. It's very low status. Don't do it. I speak as a lawyer.

wobblyweebles · 10/04/2014 01:06

Because she hates teaching...