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Original poster

What do I do about rude teenage neighbour?

87 replies

MrsDrRanj · 07/04/2014 18:13

Ugh :(

Family next door have a few children, including one son I have seen around, not very good at guessing ages but I'd say around 15-17. Apparently he has a reputation for being quite naughty.

I've had the day from hell. Killer toothache, family problems and a 2 year old DS in an awful mood.

Earlier he was having a tantrum in his room. I was doing my best to calm him but to be honest he just wanted to scream. I then heard a lot of banging on the wall. I ignored (I was starting to cry a bit) but then I heard the teenage son shout (out the window I think) 'can you calm your baby you bitch'

I was MIGHTILY pissed off but nobody was there apart from a girl who I assume is his sister at a different window. I asked if it was her and she said no, she was clearly quite nervous about talking to me so I'm pretty sure it definitely wasn't her.

My question is what do I do now? I'm really pissed off and being spoken to (or shouted at) like that, but didn't want to go round there angrily as I'm pretty sure he's still a child and I'd also have had to take DS with me. What would you do?

I'm friends with a Neighbour down the road who knows him vaguely and he said he'd have a word but I don't know if that's what I want.

I've had an awful day and need someone to tell me what to do :(

My first thought was to talk to his parents, but to be honest if he has a reputation as naughty it makes me think they won't do much.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsDrRanj · 07/04/2014 18:21

Bump?

OP posts:
bochead · 07/04/2014 18:23

Honestly - I'd speak to his parents.

I'd wanna know if my kid was being that rude to people out of my earshot and I'm sure 99% of parents would too. Just don't go round all aggressive so you put them on the defensive. "Just say I thought you ought to know as you don't seem like the kind of parents that would think this behavior is ok " A quiet word is needed, not a row.

puntasticusername · 07/04/2014 18:24

I would speak to his parents first. You may be right that they won't do anything about it, but you have to give them a chance to I think.

aquashiv · 07/04/2014 18:25

Yes tell his parents.

tripecity · 07/04/2014 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wherediparkmybroom · 07/04/2014 18:33

Swop you I have a psycho next door x

ICanSeeTheSun · 07/04/2014 18:44

He should have spoken to you like that, I would tell his parents.

At that age it could be that the boy next door is trying to study for exams and the 2 year old screaming all day is preventing him from doing so. That for him could be stressful.

maddy68 · 07/04/2014 18:46

I would mention it to his parents too, but you do sound like you were getting on his tits with all that noise. Perhaps he is a lovely boy that just reacted In appropriately. Or maybe he said out load what he was thinking! You don't want to fall out with neighbours but he was very rude

Goblinchild · 07/04/2014 18:47

Speak to his parents, but it is exam prep time. I'm assuming he hasn't been banging on th wall for two years every time your baby had a scream?
So the neighbour may be stressed, but that doesn't give him the right to swear at you.
Be prepared for loud music next time though.

dollymixedup · 07/04/2014 18:48

Teenagers and toddlers have tantrums in common, but no need for language like that. A quiet word with his parents is the only thing you can do at this stage.

ICanSeeTheSun · 07/04/2014 18:50

Shouldn't why do my phone auto correct on commas

Original poster
MrsDrRanj · 07/04/2014 19:19

Of course I understand that nobody wants to listen to a screaming baby, neither do I! But I'm not sure what more I'm meant to do, I can't tape his mouth shut?!

He has banged on the wall a few times since we've lived here (just over a year) but I didn't know who lived there then so did nothing.

OP posts:
MooncupMadness · 07/04/2014 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

keepcalm111 · 07/04/2014 19:38

He's probably stressed out and trying to study for GCSEs or A levels.No, he shouldn't have yelled or called you a bitch, but everyone has their snapping point.

pinkhalf · 07/04/2014 19:44

What? There is a lot of softness here. 15 year old calls you a bitch? That's some adult language and it should have some immediate consequences. Children don't use language like that.

Speak to his parents with him present. Make him squirm.

Goblinchild · 07/04/2014 19:46

Let's hope his parents are more reaonable than he was.

peggyundercrackers · 07/04/2014 20:11

Go round and poke him in the eye.

specialsubject · 07/04/2014 20:18

nasty little sod - the neighbour, that is. Babies scream, parents don't want to listen to it either but it can't always be stopped.

exams are no excuse. Stress is part of life and as most of us know, exams are NOTHING really.

speak to his parents, repeat what happened, ask that it does not happen again.

cees · 07/04/2014 20:20

Yes, talk to his parents mention the language he used and that he has been banging on the wall.

Goblinchild · 08/04/2014 00:04

At 15, you don't know that exams are nothing and you may have no sympathy or empathy towards a wailing toddler who is stopping you from thinking, Poking him in the eye may well get you thumped.
He shouldn't be swearing at you, however annoying you are as a neighbour, but the most the police will do is advise him to be more tolerant. Think carefully if you want to escalate this beyond having a word with his parents.

sweetmelissa · 08/04/2014 00:54

I have three sons with "hidden disabilities" - one of which has Tourettes and so very often could upset people with his foul language. If this had been one of my sons I would have very much have wanted to know. I could not have done anything to help the situation/explain if I did no know of it. Please give the parents a chance.

YNK · 08/04/2014 01:17

Speak to HIM not his folks!
Tell him he wasn't being very helpful!

RandomInternetStranger · 08/04/2014 01:30

I'd speak to him and his parents. And I'd say that if he speaks to me like that again or does anything I will go to the police. Obviously his parents are completely ineffectual with him so I'd make it clear they may take his crap but I really don't have to and won't.

YellowTulips · 08/04/2014 01:31

He was very rude but I think we all know how annoying a small child in a temper can be.

It's like Chinese water torture even when it's your own child.

When it's the kid from next door as you might be trying to revise to get that grade your life might depend on- I can see how someone might snap.

So what he said was not acceptable. I agree.

What to do? Go speak to the parents and say sorry for the noise but ask that they speak to their son about his inappropriate reaction to it.

MistressDeeCee · 08/04/2014 01:43

At 15 he's already calling a woman a bitch?

I hope his parents are better mannered than he is but Im dubious, given his attitude. Id have a word. So what if your baby was screaming, could have been due to illness. There is no excuse whatsoever, children are noisy sometimes. Thats nature. Anyway fwiw I know, unfortunately, I would have given him the cursing of his life on the spot as that term would upset me too much - but it is best to speak to his parents. If theyre as rude as he is then yes I would take it further rather than be intimidated by some teenage thug. A boy who calls his neighbour a bitch isn't aiming to be pleasant to live next door to