Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

What do I do about rude teenage neighbour?

87 replies

MrsDrRanj · 07/04/2014 18:13

Ugh :(

Family next door have a few children, including one son I have seen around, not very good at guessing ages but I'd say around 15-17. Apparently he has a reputation for being quite naughty.

I've had the day from hell. Killer toothache, family problems and a 2 year old DS in an awful mood.

Earlier he was having a tantrum in his room. I was doing my best to calm him but to be honest he just wanted to scream. I then heard a lot of banging on the wall. I ignored (I was starting to cry a bit) but then I heard the teenage son shout (out the window I think) 'can you calm your baby you bitch'

I was MIGHTILY pissed off but nobody was there apart from a girl who I assume is his sister at a different window. I asked if it was her and she said no, she was clearly quite nervous about talking to me so I'm pretty sure it definitely wasn't her.

My question is what do I do now? I'm really pissed off and being spoken to (or shouted at) like that, but didn't want to go round there angrily as I'm pretty sure he's still a child and I'd also have had to take DS with me. What would you do?

I'm friends with a Neighbour down the road who knows him vaguely and he said he'd have a word but I don't know if that's what I want.

I've had an awful day and need someone to tell me what to do :(

My first thought was to talk to his parents, but to be honest if he has a reputation as naughty it makes me think they won't do much.

OP posts:

alistron1 · 08/04/2014 20:59

Well, it's not great but it's not the end of the world. Go round and speak to the parents. The teenage boy was once a toddler too.

Teenagers can say and do silly things. They are giant toddlers.

Nancyandsid · 08/04/2014 21:20

As a patent of older kids, I'd want to know and yes I'd do something. Just pop round and be factual.

Nancyandsid · 08/04/2014 21:21

The boy could have just knocked on the wall and said 'please can you be a bit quieter' but no he chose to call you a bitch. Totally unacceptable.

alistron1 · 08/04/2014 21:30

As the handler of a teenage boy, I'd make him do some babysitting for you. Or any other odd jobs.

RandomInternetStranger · 08/04/2014 21:40

It's the bitch thing and general rude attitude I'd be p*ssed off with. And if I were his mother I'd be having some serious words with him about his attitude towards and treatment of women, if I hear my son ever talking to a woman like that he will not see the outside world for a month and will know what the old Victorian workhouses were like by the end of it!! I can understand him being fed up with baby noise, god even mothers get sick of it, but there's no need to talk to the OP like that.

Amytheflag · 08/04/2014 21:46

I can't believe people acting like this teenager was reasonable to shout, bang and call OP a bitch.

OP, back in the real world, it's not reasonable behaviour however annoyed he was. We had a similar problem when I was a teenager when one of the teens next door leaned out the window and told me and my mum to shut the fuck up because she was trying to watch the telly. This was at 7pm in the evening and we were chatting while we got the washing in. All we did was my mum went round, had a polite word with the mum explaining that she didn't appreciate being told to shut the fuck up by a child and she didn't expect it to happen again. The mum next door was a scary one but she did listened and did something about it because it didn't happen again.

I think it does depend on what the parents are like. Most reasonable adults will be ashamed of their teenagers behaviour and will have a word with them. Although some will be like the people on this thread and will defend their rude behaviour.

IamInvisible · 08/04/2014 21:58

I've got a 17yo boy and I would want to know if he called you a bitch. But I would, also, want you to know that he is working flat out for his AS levels at the moment because his future depends on them. It sounds like there could be a bit more consideration both ways tbh.

keepcalm111 · 08/04/2014 22:00

I think he thought you were neglecting your DS

MistressDeeCee · 09/04/2014 04:20

His A Levels won't do him much good if he speaks to people like that. I hope he'll be able to keep his offensive gob shut in the world of work.

There is NEVER any excuse for a man calling a woman a bitch, or for a boy that age (I dont know why some posters are acting as if a 15 or possibly 17 year old is a tender aged child and incapable of simply making a polite request) to call a woman a bitch. There are quite enough misogynistic men out there using any old ropey excuse to aggressively call women derogatory names thank you, without women who need to either raise their self-esteem as women off the floor, or stop being purposely obtuse and nasty, or stop defending misogyny joining their chorus thank you.

The idea that women who are mothers themselves feel a crying distressed toddler is grounds for the child's mother being shouted at and called a bitch, is just woeful.

For the dissenters I hope you don't teach your sons that this kind of behaviour is ok simply because they are busy with exams and there isn't a remote control that can switch off a baby (and you haven't been fortunate enough to raise your precious son in a detached house with neighbours not too near/haven't thought to buy him some earplugs).

Still if he goes around speaking to women like that he will likely get exactly what he deserves some day.

insancerre · 09/04/2014 06:57

what a fuss about nothing
I wouldn't do anything.
live and let live
unless you are happy for the neighbours to knock on your door and complain about your child's behaviour?

CheerfulYank · 09/04/2014 08:20

I'd want to know. Exams or not, you do not speak to people that way.

I wouldn't be accusatory, but I would go round and explain what happened. Talk to the boy AND his parents. Apologize for the noise but say there's really nothing you can do and you'd appreciate not being sworn at.

Original poster

MrsDrRanj · 10/04/2014 12:54

Quick update - I haven't done anything myself because I've had such a stressful time with my DS and toothache!

But I saw my neighbour from up the road this morning and he told me he'd had a word with the boy next door, who said it wasn't him and he wouldn't do that. He said it may have been his sister (the girl at the window I'm guessing) so that could be true, and I feel suitably ashamed for assuming it was him.

Whichever of them it was I'm sure it won't happen again now, as the young girl clearly crapped herself when I spoke to her and the boy denied it.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4