To think disabled people should have exactly the same facilities as non-disabled people?

[Sparklysilversequins]

My children and I belong to Virgin Active. We swim a lot, both kids really enjoy it and it's the one thing they will both do without fuss, exercise wise. Both have ASD, a boy, 11 and a girl, 7. Now here's the problem, ds cannot manage to shower and get dressed alone but at age 11, he cannot accompany me to the women's changing room. The disabled facilities are not great, they are not nearly as nice as the other changing facilities, the shower actually has a toilet in the same room, so it's essentially a shower in a public toilet. Last time we went a cleaner was moaning about all the water on the floor after we had showered. This would never happen in the other changing areas. I've complained and was listened to but nothing has changed.

So today I decided that I would shower ds in the women's shower area and then send him to get dressed only in the disabled changing room (it's fine for that, just nasty for showering). We did this and it worked well though I wasn't comfortable with him getting dressed alone, but I dd and I changed like lightening and went and helped him (takes him a lot longer). So all in all it was fine.

But I am not happy about it. Their disabled facilities are simply not good enough, obviously I have found a way round it but I shouldn't have to should I? we should have the same lovely facilities that everyone else has?

So what would you do? Is there any independent organisation who inspects this kind of thing? I actually laid awake worrying about this last night but like I say luckily my new system worked albeit my son with ASD has to be unsupervised for it to do so, which I don't think is right.

Again greenlands I wasn't actually addressing you, so how about YOU stop feeling hard done by and searching to be offended.

I was surprised to discover how much I prefer the unisex changing rooms with their private cubicles to the largely communal single sex area, partly because the whole space is more open but also because you don't have to cope with people with one foot up on the bench you're sitting on and their minge level with your face, it's all behind closed doors

I don't actually agree that it is inappropriate to take this particular 11 year old into the ladies showers

Yes you are so special and don't have to follow the rules like everyone else...? Really? If the facilities available are not up to scratch then list the reasons why and speak to head office per my earlier suggestion.

The contract you took out with them stats and i quote;

75. Child Members, under the age of 9, may change in either sex changing room, under supervision, and in designated areas only. Child Members aged 9-15 years must change in designated areas, under supervision, in the changing room of their own sex.

I don't think it's the same thing Saucyjack. But you're right, larger communal changing rooms would sort it out.

Anyway I am off to bed.

Of course you are not being unreasonable. You are requesting facilities of equal standard (clean, well maintained, with appliances of same quality), not the moon on a stick! In your case op there is probably an argument for adding an additional facility for family/carer aided changing facilities and smartening up the wet room.

I find this "I am disabled/know a disabled person who prefers a wet room so yabu" attitude really bizarre because it sort of assumes all disabled people are exactly the same which is not only untrue, but actually a little offensive.

OP I think the problem is, you did kind of drip feed the info about the disabled changing room. In your OP you mention it's not great and give the shower being in the same room as the toilet as your only example of that. And if that was your only complaint that YWBU, as many posters have explained why it makes sense from a physical disability point of view.

It's only in later posts that you actually mention the smell, the dirt and the fact that not all of the things in there work (and a more cynical person might think you made them up when you didn't get 100% of posters agreeing with you). So if you don't have post highlighting on it would be easy to miss those facts, as one poster clearly did.

That's the point I was trying to make with my previous post but due to it being late and me being tired I didn't put it across too well.

As saucyjack says you need to concentrate on asking for more facilities, not changing the existing ones, as if they were changed it might mean the pool is no longer suitable for any users with physical disabilities.