To think disabled people should have exactly the same facilities as non-disabled people?

[Sparklysilversequins]

My children and I belong to Virgin Active. We swim a lot, both kids really enjoy it and it's the one thing they will both do without fuss, exercise wise. Both have ASD, a boy, 11 and a girl, 7. Now here's the problem, ds cannot manage to shower and get dressed alone but at age 11, he cannot accompany me to the women's changing room. The disabled facilities are not great, they are not nearly as nice as the other changing facilities, the shower actually has a toilet in the same room, so it's essentially a shower in a public toilet. Last time we went a cleaner was moaning about all the water on the floor after we had showered. This would never happen in the other changing areas. I've complained and was listened to but nothing has changed.

So today I decided that I would shower ds in the women's shower area and then send him to get dressed only in the disabled changing room (it's fine for that, just nasty for showering). We did this and it worked well though I wasn't comfortable with him getting dressed alone, but I dd and I changed like lightening and went and helped him (takes him a lot longer). So all in all it was fine.

But I am not happy about it. Their disabled facilities are simply not good enough, obviously I have found a way round it but I shouldn't have to should I? we should have the same lovely facilities that everyone else has?

So what would you do? Is there any independent organisation who inspects this kind of thing? I actually laid awake worrying about this last night but like I say luckily my new system worked albeit my son with ASD has to be unsupervised for it to do so, which I don't think is right.

It is against Virgin club regulations for children over 8 to use the showering/changing facilities *of the opposite sex

Can you read? It doesnt sound perfectly fine.

And she went into detail about why she couldn't use it.

so that makes it ok to innappropiately take a boy into the ladies showers at 11 years of age, breaking the rules?

Would you feel it appropiate to take an 11 year old girl into the mens showers?

The club has this rule for a reason

and it sounds fine, just not the touch of glamour that the rest of the club has, which is the real debate here

My daughter when she is 11? Yes I would.

Of course she isnt complaining as she wants a "touch of glamour"

It's not fine.

His showering there does not invade anyone's privacy because of the layout of the shower area and also because he has no clue what's going on around him unless it involves steam trains, Top Gear or high performance cars

I pay the same monthly payment as everyone else and if the faculties are sub standard I will work around that. It's that or not take them at all.

I agree that it's inappropriate to take an 11 year old boy into a ladies changing rooms. That 11 year old boy deserves changing facilities that are suitable for him and does not deserve the indignity of having to use the changing rooms intended for the opposite gender.

But it's also inappropriate for the cleaning lady to make digs at OP for using the disabled facility as it was intended and it's inappropriate for the shower and the changing room to be of a lower quality just because it's designed for disabled people. This is a situation that is created by the club, not the OP.

So ladies can take their perfectly valid complaints about a boy in their changing room to management, and should be able to expect that appropriate facilities will be provided.

You are actually making things up now blahblahblah. I've explained at length that the disabled facilities are sub standard. Other members of other VA clubs agree. Where was "glamour" mentioned?

I think you're just trying to be a bit of a GF now aren't you?

Then that is your case to the management then - it's against VA rules to take a child (your DS in this case) to the ladies at the age that he is, but the standard of facilities available for him to use are not up to standard because of a,b,etc

you mentioned cheaper fixtures and fittings were used, you didn't say they were dirty or broken, or did i miss that?

it's surprising that a club that puts so much thought and effort into secret access for religious women (have only ever used the one in Cricklewood) can't sort out decent facilities for disabled people of varying ages and sex

I hope you get somewhere with this, I also can't believe the put up and shut up attitude. How are things ever improved if everyone accepts shit service?

Yes, well thanks for your advice, if you read the thread you will see I have done this. This thread is a discussion about whether disabled and non-disabled people should expect the same standards. I have already posted my intentions.

I think your posts show remarkable ignorance and intolerance but I think you know that don't you?

It being inappropriate to take an 11 year old into the ladies so adequate facilities should be provided should work in your favour when talking to management etc although i would suggest going straight to head office with VA if you want to get anywhere

Yes you missed that. Read the thread.

I read it as they were not the same standard, not unusable

I don't actually agree that it is inappropriate to take this particular 11 year old into the ladies showers given the nature of his SN and how they affect him and as I have already said the showers are laid out in such a way no one would even notice.

Anyway I won't respond to your posts anymore. I am tired of trying to "educate" people who haven't got a clue what it means to deal with the things I do and can't even post anything half way kind or understanding about the millions of decisions and adaptations I have to assess and decide every day in order to allow my children to take part in activities that other families wouldn't have to think twice about.

Sorry, but i'm not buying it.

The disabled shower is so disgusting, you couldn't possibly let him shower there...but it's OK for him to stand in a smelly, completely flooded (your words) cubicle to dress? If it's that bad, why aren't you changing him in the ladies also, seeing as he's already showered there?

there shouldn't be any difference in standard

surely you don't think that would be ok blahblah, to have a lower quality finish or poorer standards of cleanliness?

Anyway I won't respond to your posts anymore. I am tired of trying to "educate" people who haven't got a clue what it means to deal with the things I do and can't even post anything half way kind or understanding about the millions of decisions and adaptations I have to assess and decide every day in order to allow my children to take part in activities that other families wouldn't have to think twice about

That is a massive, massive assumption. You have no idea of my children, and what their needs are.

Well it won't be flooded if he hasn't showered there will it?

Are you aware of the layout of the showers at VA clubs? You enter the showers from the pool without going into the changing room. So ds can be showered without ever entering the changing room.

Not much to buy I am afraid.

I want talking to you greenlands I hadn't really noticed your posts tbh.

Well the same stands for many anonymous posters on here.

Who the hell are you to state as fact that you have it soo much tougher that the rest of us couldn't imagine what you deal with (paraphrasing).

You have NO idea what I (or anyone else) has to deal with on a daily basis. NO idea. So don't play the hard done by card.

A pool near my parents has a huge communal changing area but with both small and family sized cubicles. I think that should be standard.

in order to allow my children to take part in activities that other families wouldn't have to think twice about.

I can't agree with you there regarding this specific issue.

I should imagine all sorts of families have trouble with changing if over-8s cannot use the opposite sex facilities but no family changing rooms are provided.

I think you need to lobby for a couple of larger changing rooms- not complain about the (very standard and functional) set-up of the physically disabled access shower room.