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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think it's rude to shout from room to room in the house?

52 replies

drivenfromdistraction · 04/04/2014 14:02

I was brought up to think it's rude to shout between rooms in the house - if you want to talk to someone then you should go to the room they're in and speak in a normal voice.

Only now I live in a very vertical house, with 3 small children and lack the will time and energy to keep trotting up/down to wherever they are. I am forever shouting upstairs or downstairs to call them down/up, or ask them a quick question etc. Each time, I feel a sense of wrongness about it!

Sometimes I tell one DC 'can you go and call the others for lunch/tea/whatever'. Invariably, they stay standing right next to me and just bellow at deafening volume 'DC2/3 COME UP FOR TEA NOW!!!!!'

It always makes me feel I am clearly not instilling good etiquette in this particular area. Or am I just bonkers, and it's normal to shout across the house for someone else's attention?

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 04/04/2014 14:29

You say 'Can you call the others', that is what they are going to do.

I say 'Can you go and tell', then they open their mouth to try to shout, and I say 'I said can you go and tell, I could yell from here louder than you, but that is rude'.

Then they go and tell them.

Original poster
drivenfromdistraction · 04/04/2014 14:33

Yes, that's true TJ, I should be more specific in my instruction.
But, since I'm setting the example of calling/shouting up and down the stairs or from room to room, I can't really tell them it's rude when they do it.

Do other people think it's rude? Or am I old-fashioned? I can't decide.

OP posts:
olbasoil · 04/04/2014 14:34

I used a baby monitor for this very reason. One in the kitchen and one on the landing.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 04/04/2014 14:35

My mum never allowed it.

Me and my own dc are a little family of big shouters Grin

SirChenjin · 04/04/2014 14:36

I was brought up not to shout through the house too - but find myself doing it more and more, esp. when it's dinner time and they all vanish to the furthest reaches.

I'm going to get a dinner gong - I keep threatening it and one day I will.

ThatBloodyWoman · 04/04/2014 14:36

We shout from one end of the garden to the house, let alone room to room.

My old neighnours were like this with their kids.
I swore I'd never be like that with mine.

How things change...

< hollow laugh >

Gruntfuttock · 04/04/2014 14:38

Is anyone else thinking of Howard Wolowitz and his mother? Grin

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 04/04/2014 14:38

it is rude I totally agree.

However, I am as guilty as sin for doing it and do tell myself off after.

I don't let DS do it though - if he shouts to me I shout back telling him I am in the kitchen (or wherever) and to come and talk to me in there.

Yep, I'm the biggest hypocrite going :)

Original poster
drivenfromdistraction · 04/04/2014 14:39

Dinner gong! I like it, Chenjin.

Or perhaps I will get a whistle like Captain von Trapp. Blow it and watch the DC dash to line up and stand to attention.

OP posts:
Original poster
drivenfromdistraction · 04/04/2014 14:39

Betty - that is EXACTLY what I do - shout back to the DC to tell them to come to the room I'm in. Hypocrisy personified :)

OP posts:
LoonvanBoon · 04/04/2014 14:40

I'm exactly the same, driven, & frequently have this scenario of one child next to me bellowing for the other child. I don't know if it's rude or not - it is slightly deafening when my boys do it, because they shout more loudly than I do! Will be watching to see if we have to change our ways too...

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 04/04/2014 14:42

I can't get worked up about it tbh. It's just annoying when ds or Dh are yelling and I can't hear then so they yell louderGrin

mummybare · 04/04/2014 14:42

There was lots of shouting in my house when I was growing up. I'm not a fan, though, and always tell DH off for doing it try and avoid it.

DoJo · 04/04/2014 14:44

I don't really get why it's rude, but I was brought up with this rule nominally enforced. It doesn't bother me - I might not know what room someone is in, so will yell up the stairs to see where the reply comes from and then go and find them if I need more than a yes or no answer. If it's a quick question and will save my rapidly ageing legs from hefting up one or two flights of stairs then I will just yell and inwardly smirk at my mother for bringing my son up like a fishwife!

BaronVonShush · 04/04/2014 14:47

Yep, exactly the same here. A very vertical house as well. I also ask the DC to tell the other one something.

About once a week I feel guilty and walk upstairs to tell DC that dinner's ready. But only once a week mind. Other than that its foghorn leghorn all the way Grin

BabyDubsEverywhere · 04/04/2014 14:51

I was bought up in a house where the parents could shout up stairs to us for example, but we couldn't do it back! I found the hypocrisy frustrating to say the least Hmm

I quite enjoy us all shouting around the house now, its not angry/aggressive shouting, its just calling to each other. It feels more relaxed and fun. We do have a loud house though Grin

Sparrowlegs248 · 04/04/2014 14:52

I hate it. My mum used to do it still does and it drove me mad! She would yell notta!! at the top of herlungs. Nothing else. Thus forcing you to ignore her or go to where she was.

I don't have chldren of my own yet so may well follow her example byt i hope not!

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 04/04/2014 14:57

My mum hated us shouting between rooms but also could rarely be bothered to come up the stairs to get us herself.

So she got one of those desk bells that they have in hotels that you "ding" for attention. She had a system of 1 ding for the eldest, 2 for the 2nd dc and 3 for the youngest. I reckon she got the idea from Captain Von Trapp's whistle.

Then she discovered that the house phone had an intercom system so she bought a handset for each of our rooms and we had our own ringtones. The benefit of this is we didn't actually have to leave our rooms when she wanted to speak to us. Downside was you couldn't pretend not to have heard her calling.

I don't know which sound annoyed me more, the ding or my own personalised ringtone so I have decided I'm just going to shout for my own dc.

LokiDokey · 04/04/2014 15:00

I'm a shouter. After spending ten minutes at the bottom of the stairs trying to raise the dead (or at least call 16yr old dd for tea) I bought £5 cordless doorbell from home bargains and suck it in her room and the bell push in the kitchen.
It's blissful I tell thee. One push and down she comes. Genius.

Floralnomad · 04/04/2014 15:03

Now my children are older I don't shout ,I phone them if I want them and they do the same .

insancerre · 04/04/2014 15:09

flora me tooGrin
in the old house when Ds was in the loft I put a house phone in his room and used it as an intercom
now we've moved I just text ds and dd
they wouldn't hear me over the music even if I did shout

SirChenjin · 04/04/2014 15:11

Ooooh - a £5 cordless doorbell from Home Bargains you say....?

MoominMammasHandbag · 04/04/2014 15:11

Gosh, never thought about it being rude. There are six of us in a big, three story house so lots of shouting goes on. It doesn't help that everyone has their music blaring out as well.

I will admit to texting them sometimes.

Weegiemum · 04/04/2014 15:13

We have a lovely cast iron triangle and stick, which when it's rung means "get down here now"

Weegiemum · 04/04/2014 15:14

And dh texts the dc on a Sunday morning to bring him coffee in bed!