Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for the present?

29 replies

Joolsy · 03/04/2014 13:05

My DD had a party for her bday a couple of weeks ago. At the party, the mum of one of her best friends said to me "sorry, I'll have to give DD her present at school" as she hadn't brought it with her. So far nothing has materialised and DD keeps asking when she's going to get it. She asked her friend yesterday and her friend said "you can't have it, it's lost". (They're in reception). Should I ask the mum (also a friend of mine - not close though) where the present is or would that be really cheeky?

OP posts:
cithkadston · 03/04/2014 13:06

No, I'd just leave it. Perhaps they can't afford a present and are too embarrassed to say so

ClementineKelandra · 03/04/2014 13:06

Do not ask!
Maybe she can't afford a present but is too embarrassed up be truthful.

MeepMeepVroooom · 03/04/2014 13:11

Leave it. You don't know what the situation might be and it is likely to be embarrassing or upsetting for the woman.

Floggingmolly · 03/04/2014 13:12

Why would you even think of doing this? Hmm. Let it go.

NewNameForSpring · 03/04/2014 13:14

God knows what the reason is but the mum was silly to promise a child a present and then not give her one.

But definitely don't ask for it! I would tell your daughter that the mum made a mistake and there won't be one after all so she stops expecting it.

Fleta · 03/04/2014 13:16

I would never ask for it in a million years - really poor manners.

I don't understand why your DD is expecting one. My DD would never notice if someone at her party hadn't bought her a gift

Original poster
Joolsy · 03/04/2014 13:17

Because she was told she would get one at school!

OP posts:
Original poster
Joolsy · 03/04/2014 13:17

Otherwise of course she wouldn't notice

OP posts:
HannerHet · 03/04/2014 13:19

No don't ask for it!
Shock
That would be really cheeky

Fleta · 03/04/2014 13:19

I read it as she was told she wouldn't get one at school......that the mother told OP that the present had been forgotten.

Sixgeese · 03/04/2014 13:21

Don't ask for it, someone did this to us in at DS's 5th party (he is now 9), I think they were embarrassed about coming to the party empty handed, but to be honest we were just happy that they came to the party. It is one of the reasons that now at parties I have a table set up near the entrance that people can just put the gifts on (or not as the case may be)

NurseyWursey · 03/04/2014 13:22

No I wouldn't ask for it, why would this even occur to you? You'll just have to explain to your DD that she got plenty of presents but unfortunately this one is 'lost'.

Poor woman.

Deathwatchbeetle · 03/04/2014 13:29

Do you really think it would be ok to ask for a present, REALLY???? I am shocked.

It does not matter whatever the reason is for the non arrival for the present. Let it go. Just explain that that is one present less she will get. She will get over it.

It is never alright to ask for the present as you would appear grasping/materialistic/bloody rude. Not a good example for your child!

BrokenToeOuch · 03/04/2014 13:31

Of course don't ask Shock
You tell your DD that the present is lost, but not to worry as she got so many other lovely presents, what a lucky girl she is blah blah blah.
Bloody hell, can't believe you actually needed to ask!!
In case you didn't get that, it was a YABU!

Comeatmefam · 03/04/2014 13:34

For god sake what is WRONG with people?!!

Of course you can't ask for a present!

For whatever reason it's not forthcoming. Just leave it. Jesus.

GiveTwoSheets · 03/04/2014 13:34

I'm embarrassed just by you thinking of asking.

WorraLiberty · 03/04/2014 13:34

God no. She probably couldn't afford a present.

MiniSoksMakeHardWork · 03/04/2014 14:16

You would be unreasonable to ask. Why did you tell your dd that a present would be forthcoming? - your op reads that the mum told you, not your dd, that she would bring the present to school.

Just tell your dd that you shouldn't always expect presents and that it's lovely to be able to celebrate a birthday with friends. Stop talking about it and soon enough she will forget a friend didn't bring a present.

kotinka · 03/04/2014 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EvaBeaversProtege · 03/04/2014 15:42

Definitely don't ask.

Bloody hell.

CoffeeTea103 · 03/04/2014 15:49

Really bad manners to ask! Can't believe anyone would even think like this.
So what if you tell your dd there isn't one or it got lost just like the girl said? The world would not end.

Lemonfairydust · 03/04/2014 15:53

I can't believe you would actually contemplate asking, how cringey.

I'm baffled as to why your DD keeps asking for this present too, mine would of forgotten about it by now. Make an excuse and let it go, any confrontation about the present will not end well.

InAGrump · 03/04/2014 15:54

Tell your daughter it's gone

ll31 · 03/04/2014 15:58

I actually cant believe that you would think it reasonable to ask. I woukd also tell your dd not to ask her friend. Very very rude

quirrelquarrel · 03/04/2014 15:58

Just sit there for the present, OP.