Workfare scheme for loan parents of children as young as 3, as of next month.

[WaterLoadaCack]

kept that quiet didnt they

heis - ' the mums that are qualified will get work in the end'

no, they might not. nor might they be able to hold it down....

at age 23 i was managing 7 TEAMS of people, for a very big multinational company. I was respected, i got paid well.

Fast forward 10 years, a 5 year old dd and a divorce and i nearly got sacked from a receptionist job because i took 2 days off sick to care for my chicken poxed child because there was noone else in the world that could have her for me. I was frantically calling everyone, crying, begging. To try to offload my ill child so i could get back to answering the fucking phone. I got roasted on my return to work. I was then held over a barrel, all for a fucking receptionist job.

And of course if you end up taking too much time off due to your chils being ill they will take money off you.

Because they are wankers.

I will agree its easier as I have more children as I dont take sick leave I send mine wity chicken pix etc to childminder and she doesnt mind as she only has mine and hers. I get the sick leave thing my work cant open without ke so I havent taken sick for me or any children in 5 years I just send the kids wherever. My boss was a nutter though!

*without me

I have a newborn in full time childcare and breastfed from 2 weeks old. I understand sometimes its hard.

Ok Heis so you have your hands full and children you would do anything for. Now imagine on top of that that there is NO income coming into the house other than what you can somehow earn topped up with benefits. Imagine no partner or family to hold the baby while you have a bath or a haircut, imagine having to take a lesser job because the childminder wont do flexible hours, imagine all the housework, DIY and maintainence is on your head, imagine that if the baby is ill you have to take time off work (no-one else to split the time off with) imagine never ever getting a day off, imagine burning out.

Then imagine perhaps one of your children has ADHD or autism and you are fighting the authorities for educational support, imagine perhaps you have no car (cant afford it) and are two or three buses from work/childcare.

I send mine wity chicken pix etc to childminder and she doesnt mind as she only has mine and hers.

That is a one-in-a-million childminder. You are very lucky in that regard too.

Heis, you havent a clue. You have a DH, you have his wages, his input, his help, hes there to maybe wash up, pick up stuff on the way home. Pick up the baby from childcare, help on the days when the child is sick.
You havent a damn clue, till you are left on your own, totally. With a crying, very ill child, in the middle of the night and knowing there is noone to help. That you have no choice but to be off work, because you cant leave your baby alone, but by being off theres a very real chance you will lose you job. And there is No one and not a thing you can do about it.

That wanting to work your way out of it is actually, fucking impossible. This is why its called the ' benefits trap'

It stuffs you and keeps you down. Takes away your opportunities and give your workfare instead, takes away any extra money you might earn as you wanted to work hard and needed to buy some shoes as your childs feet have grown and they have literally none to wear. It makes you judged, belittled, feeling like you have to explain your life to everyone as to not be ' another single mum' The media shows you as shit, your children will be shit. When in reality all thats happened is you have escaped an abusive marriage, or the feckless father has run off and you are left to pick up the pieces, because, well, what other option is there? stick the child in care?

I cant take sick leace fideline I just get childminder or random people to do it. I am not that bothered if they arent with me I wasnt always with my mum when I was sick and it didnt affect me. As I said though Im not in a normal situation.

The requirement to make job applications is not a way to ensure people are genuinely looking for work. Every time I advertise for staff for the care service I manage i get a portion of applications that were clerly made in a way that ensure there is no job offer. A classic one was a nicely put together form accompanied by a photograph of the applicant in a toilet. We get loads of others where the sections about why you want and are suited to work in care just has " I need a job" in it.

This thread is why i seriously considered going back to my ex partner, I have no friends or family support as my eldest has special needs and sadly their support is lacking. He works and it is the only way at the moment I can get off benefits. At least then he would look after the kids so I can go back to work, he gets on ok with ds.

of course in reality i wouldnt but like a poster said further down the thread maybe this is why many women will accept anyone in order to better their lives, of course its not like that in reality

I do want to point out about fsm though. Not every child on fsm does poorly at school and i hate the assumprtion that they do. Mine are doing very well, my ds and eldest dd are top set in everything, my girls are also excellent readers. And my 3 year old knows her letters, numbers and can read simple words.

heisenberg yes try having your life without your dh help. You really dont have a clue do you

heis- to find a childminder like that? you are very very very lucky. When i was looking for afterschool care for my dd i couldnt find one. not one without a long waiting list. All with maxed out number of children.

The afterschool club was also maxed out.

As in, there was NO childcare for me so i could work the hours in my contract.

In this case i would have lost my shit job and would have ended back on benefits... waiting for the next shit job i could get and hoping that a childcare place would have become available in the meantime. If it hadnt, guess what... would have lost that job too and then workfare would becon.

( i was lucky and someone took pity on me and helped me out till a space came up)

And this is the slippery slope, the benefits trap, the uphill struggle it is, not to just get a job, but to keep it when literally everything is a hurdle.

But yeah, you sit and tell me you know exactly how it is, Get your husband to put the kettle on, maybe put the bins out while hes at it, while you reply.

I cant take sick leace fideline I just get childminder or random people to do it.

Fair enough, but what if the childminder won't take a sick child (most won't) and your life isn't full of random non-working people who can babysit sick children at the drop of the hat (the only local friends and family I had all worked FT). It isn't an unusual situation to not have those options.

I do have to literally rope in any random person a lot of the time. I ask about on facebook etc. Needs must unfortunately!

Sheepgonemeep, i can understand that. 8 years on my own and im losing the will to live a little. Im so fucking poor with no end in sight, i cant ever see that changing. I cant work my way out of it. I cant meet anyone else as i dont have money for socializing, i get little free time anyway...

Im just stuck, as are millions of other single parents.

Not every child on fsm does poorly at school and i hate the assumprtion that they do.

Of course not sheep. We spent four years on IS and my children are A* students and always have been. I'm sure your DC will do well too, not least because you clearly put importance on it. Don't listen to the nonsense .

I do have to literally rope in any random person a lot of the time. I ask about on facebook etc.

I find that an astonishing thing for someone who works in SW to say. My DC would have screamed in terror if I had done that. Do they know these people? How well do you know them?

Heis, indeed. I dont know anyone that doesnt work. Hence if DD is ill, there is literally NO ONE but me.

Also, and this is a judgement on part, but heck, you are throwing judgements around... but, well. not nice for your children is it, that you beg on fb for any ' random' person to have them at a time when they are vulnerable.

also, you havent answered any of the questions about how your life might be if your DH wasnt around....

And this is the slippery slope, the benefits trap, the uphill struggle it is, not to just get a job, but to keep it when literally everything is a hurdle.

And the constant low-level anxiety that one of the plates will drop Needs

Very well? 5 -10 years +. Or I wouldnt have them as friends on facebook. I have to have a completely hidden profile.

And they don't work?

(Maybe we all need to cultivate more unemployed friends )

Yeah we all work but everyone does different shifts etc so I have theirs they have mine etc

well, then they arent really ' any random person' then, are they. So, you were trying to paint a very different picture than the reality.

fid, i know. I drop a plate all the time. ALL the time. I would love a time, just for a while, to keep all the plates spinning so i can relax, just for a tiny while.

They are random in the sense that there are many different people its just whoever can on said day