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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this was bloody stupid? (Facebook related, sorry.)

52 replies

JustAboutAdeqeuate · 01/04/2014 20:53

I'll say first of all, I'm normally a big fan of Facebook. I use it to keep up with far away family and friends. I also have a fair few 'facebook friends' that I knew from school, uni & a few other places that I like but am not exactly close to.

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and for various reasons have made no mention of it on fb whatsoever. Not all my fb friends actually know I'm pregnant. So AIBU to be pissed off at someone (very close to DH but not me) posted on my wall for all to see "so where's all the pictures of your baby bump?" They've obviously noticed I'm keeping my pregnancy off FB, so surely they could have been a bit bloody discreet about wondering why?

OP posts:
Hobby2014 · 01/04/2014 20:55

I'm 22 weeks and haven't mentioned on facebook and id be annoyed too, but that's facebook for you, at times it's really crappy.

heisenberg999 · 01/04/2014 20:56

Set up timeline review

VanitasVanitatum · 01/04/2014 20:59

Probably just didn't think at all, just blurted it out. Just delete the post from your wall and pm the friend to say you don't want all the people you're in touch with on fb to know.

Electriclaundryland · 01/04/2014 20:59

At 27 weeks I imagine they no longer thought it a secret. I wouldn't expect people to pay that much attention to my posts to see what I have or haven't said on fb.

Silvercatowner · 01/04/2014 21:00

What is the big secret? At 27 weeks must be pretty obvious....

SpoonfulOfJam · 01/04/2014 21:01

YANBU. Had to delete a congratulations msg from idiot BIL, when my son was born. He effectively announced the birth of my first born to everyone I know. Annoying thing was, I'd made sure that all the other idiot in laws had been told not to post anything on social media until I had. Had forgotten about this idiot. (all in different country so easily done).

Original poster
JustAboutAdeqeuate · 01/04/2014 21:05

It's not a secret as such, but as I said I have my reasons for not wanting it on Facebook. electric I didn't expect people to pay attention to what I had and hadn't posted but this person noticed I hadn't posted it so drew attention to it in the most obvious way.

I did delete it as soon as I saw, but I don't know how long it was up.

OP posts:
FannyFifer · 01/04/2014 21:06

It really doesn't matter.

MaryWestmacott · 01/04/2014 21:06

erm, I think we use facebook differently so I can't see how this owuld be wrong. Most people I know, have facebook to have contacts with people who are their family or friends, or colleagues, or people they used to be close to and want to have an easy way to keep up with. None of those are the sort of people I'd want to keep it a secret I was pregnant at 27 weeks (when you will have a bump, be very obviously pregnant).

If you are facebook friends with the sort of people you don't want to know about a very public (because anyone you see in public will know you are pregnant) and very significant part of you life, then why are you bothering keeping in touch with them?

usualsuspectt · 01/04/2014 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 01/04/2014 21:09

My 14 year old niece told her aunt and cousin about dc3 on fb before I could tell them in person. It really upset me but I was told not to be precious as it was my third.

I can understand why you'd be upset. I'd follow the advice up thread to delete the message and pm the person to explain why.

AnythingNotEverything · 01/04/2014 21:10

They probably hadn't noticed you were keeping your pregnancy off Facebook. I wouldn't assume it was intentional.

sooperdooper · 01/04/2014 21:10

Your friend probably hadn't noticed you'd specifically not mentioned your pregnancy whatsoever on there, it's a bit self centered to assume they hang on your every post on there.

It was a harmless comment, but if you don't want people on your fb friends list to see things about you maybe you should cull those people anyway?

Anniegetyourgun · 01/04/2014 21:13

Why the fuck would one want to post pictures of a pregnant stomach anyway? Confused

Clearly Facebook is a different universe.

whitepuddingsupper · 01/04/2014 21:38

So what are your reasons for not wanting your facebook friends to know about the pregnancy? It's only a few weeks until the baby will be here, are you not planning on mentioning the child on facebook at all? Fair enough if you don't want your baby on your facebook wall at all but if you are planning on doing a birth announcement and sharing baby photos then it's going to be pretty obvious you were pregnant anyway.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 01/04/2014 21:45

I didn't mention the fact that I was pregnant with DD at all on FB - until I posted to say that she had arrived safely.

This was because I had lost a baby (late miscarriage) 12 months earlier & I was completely and utterly paranoid that something would happen to make me lose DD too.

Obviously, friends I saw during the last 5 months of pregnancy knew Grin.

OooOooTheMonkey · 01/04/2014 21:49

Yes it's really stupid and annoying. I kept my pregnancy off Facebook mostly, and when I had the baby and word got round, someone congratulated me on Facebook before I had ever got round to putting anything on myself. I didn't care at the time (post c section, emotional, busy with new baby etc) but afterwards when I thought about it it pissed me off Angry

everlong · 01/04/2014 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SinisterBuggyMonth · 01/04/2014 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Descalzada · 01/04/2014 21:57

YABU
You can't expect people to know that you want to keep that sort of private at 27 weeks.

PortofinoRevisited · 01/04/2014 21:58

Lordy, if people in rl are perfectly aware that you are pregnant, why on earth should they not mention it? FB is just a communication tool. It is not the evil purveyor of darkness.

Mitchell2 · 01/04/2014 21:59

YAB a little U, and I think the poster was a little bit in the wrong. I'm 29 weeks and not posted a peep on FB so I understand why you would be annoyed but you can have wall posts reviewed before posting or even turning them off ( which is what I did) to ensure things like that don't happen. The poster probably didn't mean anything by it and obviously didn't think before they posted and prob should have sent you a private message rather than putting it on your wall.

UrethraFranklin · 01/04/2014 22:02

Why does it matter why OP kept it off Facebook? I kept my pregnancy off Facebook for very good reason and I would've been really annoyed if someone effectively announced it to my friends list before I was prepared too.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 01/04/2014 22:03

You clearly have your reasons for keeping your pregnancy quiet, and should have probably hidden your account.

It's not the norm not to mention a 27 week pregnancy, so you shouldn't be upset with your friend who clearly doesn't analyse your posts - or lack of.

LJBanana · 01/04/2014 22:08

Just delete the message and don't engage in conversation about it. Maybe pm and just put done thing flippant like ' not on fb.' I did the same in all my pregnancies, I just didn't want something private and personal on a social media site, and I don't see the problem with that. Equally if people want to share their pregnancy news that's their decision.
I don't think you are BU, I had similar but did the same, removed the message then pm'd the person.