To think my generation got stiffed at both ends?

[blanchedeveraux]

Was having a conversation with a childhood friend last night (we're both 48) and we were talking about growing up in the 70s. Our parents' word was law, we lived in a very adult centric world. We got belted at school (sometimes for little or no reason) and occasionally smacked/cuffed round the ear by our parents as well.

Weekends were a coma of boredom. Mum would clean the house and drag me food shopping. Very little was done specifically for kids back then, you just went along with what your parents told you.

Cut to now when I have a 17 and 13 yo and for their whole lives me and DH have always put them first so that our social lives really revolved around what they wanted, taking them to soft play/parties/clubs/gymteds... you know the kind of thing I mean.

I'm not harking back to the "old days". I wouldn't want my children to get any of the negatives of that time and I don't resent my life with my DCs, I love them and want them to be happy.

I just wonder what others think and if they feel similar or am I talking shite?

Same age as you OP and this rings huge bells. I was talking about similar to DSis - when we were kids we were not at the centre of anything, but when you grew up you were expected to take your place in the world. Now the whole world seems to revolve around kids - most important little people who expect to grow up into most important big people.

We had a great childhood, but our opinions, feelings, wishes etc were ignored for about 99% of the time!

I'm 47 and the difference between my teen life and my DC teen life is immense.

Like in my day, you didn't put yourself in a situation of being drunk, inappropiatley dressed, or lax in contraception.

I recognise what you are saying but overall I think i had it better as we had so much more freedom. I remember playing out all day from about 5 years old in the garden, next door, in the fields behind us, up and down the road. As I got older we roamed where we fancied within reason. There was a big bunch of kids in our road who played out so there was always somebody to play with and the older kids kept an eye on the younger ones.
The only really boring days were sunday trips to the pub when we got left in the car with a bottle of coke with a straw and a packet of walkers crisps. That was torture.

My parents still maintain that boredom is 'good for children'. Um, up to a point, Lord Copper...

I didn't realise it was a 70's thing, I thought it was just a 'one of my DPs is autistic and doesn't get what children like doing' type thing.

I understand what you are saying OP. I am 50 and was parented by benign neglect. I had loads of freedom and was left to my own devices to entertain myself most of the time. Even participation in things like swimming and baseball/softball ( I grew up in the US) meant that I got myself there and back. We didn't have nearly as many family days out as my DC have experienced.

Things are a lot more child-centred in families these days I think.

I'm 54, born in 1959. No-one had money, we just got on with making our own fun, away from adults. It's a cliche, but we played out til all hours and everyone knew everyone else. There were few treats, no cars, no phones, and for a while, no indoor toilets!

I genuinely believe I was happy, even though discipline was much stricter and opportunities were fewer.

Children today seem more full of themselves, prone to "ishoos", entitled and generally dissatisfied, despite, or perhaps because of, the amount of attention they get.

I also think there was less pressure on us as kids particularly in primary school and I see much higher stress levels in schools today. The flip side of that was lots of kids who just gave up on education.

As a basically lazy person who was good at cramming for exams, I'm glad I did my schooling in the 70's and 80's.

My mum definitely spent quite a bit of time with us, particularly driving us to our hobbies etc so perhaps I got the best of both worlds.

Moomin, your MUM was born in 1970?

no indoor toilets!! Yes, forgot that our primary had outside toilets. They also tended not to have locks on them. I do remember you had to get a friend to stand outside the cubicle to hold the door shut.

I don't recall any pressure in Primary School. I took and passed the 11 plus with no stress whatsoever. There was no tutoring in those days.

Sorry Portofino

I was born in 67 and my childhood was very different, I was never hit at school or home, my parents weekends revolved around mine and my sisters sport, as did the whole week. I had a fabulous childhood, I don't think the 70's or 80's were boring in the slightest.

Born in 1960. My childhood was spent on RAF stations and my secondary was a rural boarding scholl, so we made our entertainment, except for Saturday which was the pictures or swimming. Cubs, later Air Cadets during the week. My DBs and I also jointly owned a Scalextric and wet Sundays would be filled with the smell of burning metal. Later, my DB got a Mamod steam engine and we built a mass gallows for the Action Men as per Odyseuss' execution of Penelope's handmaidens.

Which may not be the best use to which Homer has been put.

I grew up in the 70's and when I think back they were my glory days, the safe haven I retreat to in my mind when the modern day push & shove gets too much. The 'coma of boredom' was actually just a slower pace of life, and one not lived on FB or on-line. Having said that, we still did various clubs/activities at the weekend, which my parents ferried us around to. I can't imagine my children growing up in this way, but that is because they are products of their time, the here & now. But maybe some aspects of my era were much better than the way life is today.

I grew up in the 70s and identify with and sympathise with much of what the OP says.

My family were caring in their own way but in all honesty, looking back it is a wonder any of us reached adulthood. Both my sister and myself were sexually abused because (I hate to say it) our parents allowed it with the constantly reinforced message of respecting your elders and not talking back.

School was awful: teachers were so sarcastic and unpleasant. My parents were also very sarcastic and I'm ashamed to say I was when I first had DS I just didn't know any other way. I (voluntarily) attended parenting classes in the end as I didn't want him to grow up as I did: timid and scared of saying/doing anything lest he be laughed at.

The above sounds very self pitying.

One of the most awful memories I have was thankfully not mine but another girl's, who when we were in what would now be Year 5, so nine and ten, her mother spanking her on her bare bottom in front of everybody at a birthday party. I still remember it being summer and her being bent over and her pants being pulled down and just cringing inside for her. She was screaming and begging her mum to stop She was still being bullied for that years and years later.