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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paying for petrol

130 replies

PorkPieandPickle · 29/03/2014 19:35

Is it ok to leave a sleeping baby in the car (locked) while you pay for petrol? My husband says its fine as you can see the car from the shop, but this parenting group on FB have been totally slating women who do this.
I usually have a sensible handle on things but this one is confusing me. I have always asked my husband to fill up so I don't have to avoiding the situation but he keeps telling me its fine to leave her (but humours me anyway and fills up!)

OP posts:
Delphiniumsblue · 30/03/2014 13:38

Unfortunately lots of single people have to manage petrol and children, it is very unfair to tell them they should organise their life around getting petrol without a child in the car. It is just another thing to make them feel guilty about.
Of course you have to use that car to take them places, but the risk is high especially within 3 miles of home. People take that risk. The risk on the garage forecourt is minuscule in comparison.

RalphLaurenLover · 30/03/2014 13:38

I doSmile

I've seen a group like this some people came up with also sorts one woman said it was neglect and that someone could drive up the back of you, or blow the petrol station forecourt up Hmm however the way I see it is if you leave them In the car they're safe people are all around filling up they've seen you get out they'd notice if anyone who wasn't with you came up to your car trying to break in.

The chances of you being mowed down or driving into is very low id imagine you'd never forgive yourself if you went to all the hassle of taking the DC's out to get inside and find out you're now being hold at gunpoint Wink

Do whatever you feel comfortable with

CountessOfRule · 30/03/2014 13:48

I know someone whose car spontaneously combusted. She talks about it relatively often.

I know someone whose car was stolen with the DC in it (they escaped out of the back doors before the end of the road).

So I'm probably more aware than average of what can happen.

But I know maybe 100+ families, and that's two incidents in ten years or more, which proves to me that cars are actually very, very safe.

That said, I pay at pump whenever possible. And if I have more than one child with me I'm happier leaving them, as the risk of their being frightened/bored is far higher completely alone.

whatever5 · 30/03/2014 14:22

Of course you have to use that car to take them places, but the risk is high especially within 3 miles of home.

There may be more accidents three miles from home than 10 miles but that doesn't mean that it is riskier to be nearer home than further away. There are probably more accidents because overall people are more likely to be three miles from home than 10.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 30/03/2014 15:05

"Most people (unless they are single) don't have get petrol while their children are in the car"

Yeah, but it's often easiest, and it's often when on long journeys so the kids are there by default.

Question: if both parents are in the car, should the whole family go in to pay in case of combustion?

SoulJacker · 30/03/2014 15:23

It's not illegal in Australia either, whoever said that. In NSW there is a specific offence of leaving a child in a car but it is written as follows.

A person who leaves any child or young person in
the person's care in a motor vehicle without
proper supervision for such a period or in such
circumstances that:
(a) the child or young person becomes or is likely
to become emotionally distressed, or
(b) the child's or young person's health becomes
or is likely to become permanently or temporarily
impaired,
Is guilty of an offence.

Leaving a child in the car on a grey day for 2 minutes to pay for petrol is not emotionally distressing or harmful to health so no offence is committed.

morethanpotatoprints · 30/03/2014 15:31

I wouldn't do it as I'd be scared of not getting to baby in time if anything happened.
I know accidents and raids are pretty rare but if there's a chance you don't risk it.
There was a raid at one near us recently. Looking how they attacked people and staff i'm not sure i'd have been able to get back to the car.
Do what you like OP but I couldn't have left one of mine.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 30/03/2014 15:56

More than, were unattended cars stolen in the raid?

Fakebook · 30/03/2014 16:00

Yes it's fine. I also leave mine in the car for 3mins max when I pick up dd from school on rainy days. Don't see why people get worked up about things like this.

TwittyMcTwitterson · 30/03/2014 16:05

I used to always take DD in with me. Generally pay at pump so not a problem but was more concerned of her being upset than anything happening. If you lock the car, no ones going to steal it on a forecourt.

I left her with Dora on the iPad last night while I went to get some milk. There was 30 seconds where I couldn't see my locked car. I do think I panicked more than I needed to as it was right outside. She hadn't even noticed of gone.

Also, to PP who said a cars no more likely to combust at a petrol station. I think it is. you fill it with flammable liquid at a station with god knows how many litres of flammable liquid underneath you.

RalphLaurenLover · 30/03/2014 16:26

What if your took your DC in and someone was holding up the petrol station by gunpoint?

Those saying you wouldn't leave your DC in the car would wish you had. I personally still fail to see why people get so arsy about it

BackforGood · 30/03/2014 16:34

Of course it's fine, but if you don't feel comfortable with it, and you are able to arrange it that you only fill up when someone else is in the car with you, or when your dc isn't in the car, then stick with what you are comfortable with.

Lucylouby · 30/03/2014 17:12

I leave the dc in the car while I pay for petrol. I consider it safer than trying to move them all out of the car, over the forecourt, into the shop and then back again. Moving cars are a nightmare with young children, if I get knocked over I would rather be by myself with the children in a locked car than have them knocked over with me. I am pretty sure the garage staff would notice the children in the car and realise they belonged to the woman who had been knocked over who was waiting for the ambulance. The police would then take care of them which is far more preferable to them being injured in the ambulance with me.

whatever5 · 30/03/2014 17:22

Yeah, but it's often easiest, and it's often when on long journeys so the kids are there by default.

I didn't need to fill it up even on quite long journeys (less than 300 miles) with the kids though.

Jolleigh · 30/03/2014 18:23

But Evees a car doesn't cease to have flammable liquid in it once it leaves the petrol station! If anything, because the engine is off, the car is less likely to combust. And if the fuel store combusts (which is distinctly separate from the car) then being in the shop rather than the car won't make a blind bit of difference.

Grin @ the PP who asked if the full family was supposed to go in to pay to avoid death from combustion even if there are multiple adults.

missymayhemsmum · 30/03/2014 18:29

Welcome to judging risk with your baby, op. Logically, the chance of anything happening to your sleeping baby in your car, in your sight, under cctv is miniscule, and probably less than your chances of walking across the forecourt holding a crying baby, or being subsequently distracted while driving, having woken baby up, or of the whole petrol station being demolished by a lorry or struck by lightning. So do it. It's just that mummy attachment bonding hormones are making you anxious when more than 5 yards from your beloved child. Once your dd is a toddler capable of escaping from a carseat and letting the handbrake off/ following you across the forecourt you may want to re-evaluate the relative risks.
Or you could decide not to drive because of the risks of crashing/ global warming and do something really risky like walking across the road with a pram?

JerseySpud · 30/03/2014 18:41

Well if its not fine i've been doing it wrong all along. i leave my kids in my car at the pump to go in and pay.

and i don't lock it.

Then again, i am in Jersey.

TwittyMcTwitterson · 30/03/2014 18:59

Yes jolleigh... Kinda clutching at straws so drew from the only obvious thing. I know they have signs for mobile phones and engines off. Maybe the clue is there.

Original poster
PorkPieandPickle · 30/03/2014 20:29

Ok so 2 pages later I'm no wiser Confused

I think I will just stick to getting DH to fill up!!! We only have one car and he takes it 1 day a week so petrol can go in then :)

OP posts:
TwittyMcTwitterson · 30/03/2014 20:35

Careful with that splinter Wink it's what you feel comfortable with at the end of the day!

I think the bigger issue is why there are no pay at pumps near you. Where do you live? East Jesus nowhere?

Where I'm from there's an asda where you put the petrol in and then drive to the pay bit. Like a mcdonalds drive thru! Never seen them elsewhere tho! Shock

yorkie84 · 30/03/2014 20:37

Absolutely fine. Much safer than taking children out of car.

Mutley77 · 31/03/2014 06:55

TheDoctrine - I think the point was that the parent who had left the baby in the car could be held up at gunpoint - along with the rest of the customers and staff in the petrol station - and the baby left all alone in the car for a long period. Not that the unattended car would be stolen.
Going unnoticed is clearly far less of a risk with an older child in a forward facing seat. I live in Australia and my baby is 9 months and RF, with a dark net sleeve over the window to protect her from the sun - if I left her in the car alone and something happened to me (of course it's a zillion to one chance it would) she could be left unnoticed for some time and in the meantime could quite easily die from overheating during summer, even with windows left open. Not worth the risk for me. However once my kids are toddlers I totally agree safer to leave them put for 5 mins max with a window open in their secure five point harnesses so they can't escape!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 31/03/2014 07:11

If that's the case, the baby was actually safer in the car that being part of the hold up!

If you collapsed whilst paying then your car would be blocking a pump so someone would need to move it - in the uk, most petrol stations have a canopy and our weather doesn't get so hot! Lots of things might happen - you might leave your baby in a playpen in the garden whilst you run in for a drink and slip and fall.

I would never try and persuade anyone either way if they weren't comfortable, it's just that there are risks either way though both are small so there shouldn't really be frenetic judging. And the poster that suggested only getting petrol without the kids - well, that could apply to all sorts of things - it would be safer if one parent went to Tesco after the other was home but I don't see many people suggesting that, and the risk of being hit in the car park, there being a fire in the store etc is probably greater.

littledrummergirl · 31/03/2014 07:31

I have never taken dcs in while I pay and I dont lock the car. They know they have to sit in their seats and not touch. I was very firm mother from hell with this when they were younger.
I remember one journey where ds1 had discovered how to undo his belt, it involved several stops before I finall lost patience, shouted a bit lot and took him home.
He never did it again and told the other dcs no when they went through the same phase Smile
I have never had problems at petrol stations.

dollius · 31/03/2014 07:52

People are seriously weighing up the chances of being held up at gunpoint while child is in the car??? Where do you live, people?

Bonkers

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