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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paying for petrol

130 replies

PorkPieandPickle · 29/03/2014 19:35

Is it ok to leave a sleeping baby in the car (locked) while you pay for petrol? My husband says its fine as you can see the car from the shop, but this parenting group on FB have been totally slating women who do this.
I usually have a sensible handle on things but this one is confusing me. I have always asked my husband to fill up so I don't have to avoiding the situation but he keeps telling me its fine to leave her (but humours me anyway and fills up!)

OP posts:
Rauma · 30/03/2014 00:28

Waltonswatcher1 get a grip.

Fine, personally I lock the door too and keep an eye on it

chocolatemademefat · 30/03/2014 00:47

Yes - wake them up, take them out of the car and lug them in with you - then everyone queuing up for petrol can wait while all the petrol buying mums take ages settling them into the cars again! Honestly - how many kids are abducted from garage forecourts? Can't think of any. Forget prissy judgy people and just use some common sense. And buy yourself a bar of chocolate while you're in there.......

NeedsAsockamnesty · 30/03/2014 00:57

In nearly 30 years I think I have only ever seen a parent take a baby in when paying for fuel once and on that occasion it was a garage with a big shop so had to see the car

jojane · 30/03/2014 02:16

Everything is risky
I could make a programme filled with the sad stories of children who have choked to death on nuts, grapes, marshmallows, mashed potatoes, etcetc. Doesn't mean that every child that eats a grape is going to choke and you could go to the extreme and say eating anything could kill them (potentially) when in fact the risk of death is greater from them not eating at all (starvation)
Bit of an over the top comparison but hope you get my meaning

I know someone who died falling out of a tree on to a cyclist who happened to be passing by, doesn't mean I will stop my children climbing trees or riding bikes,

Everything we do as parents and for ourselves has to be risk assessed, whether it's consciously or not, And people have different levels of risk that are acceptable to them. I for example have an irrational fear of my children getting lost/abducted. No real reason for it but they went on a school trip to the beach, I was on edge all day that they might wander off, drown, get abducted. Other mums probably didn't give thier child a second thought, we all have 'triggers'

Have to say I have NEVER seen anyone take thier child into a petrol station to pay.

curiousgeorgie · 30/03/2014 02:24

I lock the door and leave my 3 year old and 9 month old every time..

Are you really supposed to get them both out at a busy petrol station where a car behind you is waiting to get to the pump??! Confused

Delphiniumsblue · 30/03/2014 07:55

You have to learn to risk assess. The risk of something happening when they are alone on the forecourt of the garage is tiny, the risk of having an accident while driving is many,many times larger. It doesn't make sense to remove from the car and yet keep driving! Added to that the risk of getting injured outside the car on the forecourt is greater, especially if you are shepherding 3 under 5s. I have never seen a parent removing them all and I could see tempers fraying if this happened when there was a queue.
Everyone does the sensible thing and leaves them while they pay.

Delphiniumsblue · 30/03/2014 08:01

I think this mad idea comes from people who have one baby to move and not people who have a baby to carry and not enough hands for another 2 children! I am trying to imagine how you have a baby on one arm, the next youngest on the other hand and you have to trust the older one to keep next to you while you negotiate a busy space. You then have let go of a hand to pay, and then repeat and strap them all in. That is even without them having spotted the sweets!
Common sense should tell you that the whole thing is safer to leave them strapped in.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 30/03/2014 09:44

The main thing I don't like about this is if the car alarm goes off. I can lock my car and turn off alarm which is fine but in DH's car it locks automatically and alarm goes off.

FunkyBoldRibena · 30/03/2014 09:48

If that happens, then they can play statues whilst you are paying for the fuel. If the alarm doesn't go off by the time you get to the chocolates, perhaps you will buy them a pack of buttons to share.

whatever5 · 30/03/2014 10:46

I avoided getting petrol when my children were in the car when they were very small as I didn't like the idea of leaving them in the car. I always got petrol when they were with DH or at nursery.

Bowlersarm · 30/03/2014 10:51

Same as whatever. I didn't leave them.

But I think as long as you can see them all the time and clearly, and in the petrol station I use you would be able to at 6 pumps, I think it is fine for other people to do it.

trinity0097 · 30/03/2014 11:05

I have never ever been in a petrol station and seen any babies or children!

Delphiniumsblue · 30/03/2014 11:42

Exactly, trinity, they are safely in cars. As a single parent I didn't have the luxury of always being able to get petrol without them.
I can see problems with playing statues.

redexpat · 30/03/2014 11:48

this parenting group on FB have been totally slating women who do this.

Would it be ok for a man to do this?

I take no notice of what sexist arseholes say.

Sallyingforth · 30/03/2014 12:00

Of course it's right - in the circumstances it's the best thing to do.

Scrounger · 30/03/2014 12:00

I have twins and when they were born DS1 was 31/2 yo. The idea of getting them all out and all back in to pay for petrol is ridiculous. How do you carry wto car seats at the same time? Even now when the DTs are 31/2 yo it is far,far safer to keep them in the car then shepherd them across a busy forecourt. Plus a car thief would have to a) break into the car and then b) start it when it has a unique key. He has to do this on a busy forecourt in the middle of the day without anyone noticing? Really, is this likely? Cars are far harder to steal now then in the past. That is why car thieves try to mug drivers for the keys.

I have left them in the car since they were babies to pay for petrol. They are so used to the alarm going off it doesn't bother them. If it does, I can flip it off from inside the garage.

Martorana · 30/03/2014 12:01

If a car spontaneously combusted at a petrol station, wouldn't it take the petrol station with it?

Slapntickleothewenches · 30/03/2014 12:05

DS at the age of about 7 came into a petrol station with me. He glanced around in wonder before exclaiming "so this is what it looks like"
Proof that the only dreadful thing to come out of 7 years of being left in the car was a lack of knowledge about the sausage roll hot cupboard :o

whatever5 · 30/03/2014 12:20

Although I agree that leaving children in the car for a few minutes is not a massive risk, it is surely worth avoiding if possible (e.g. if you have a partner or child goes to nursery it is easy enough to get petrol when they are not with you).

Mutley77 · 30/03/2014 12:44

I am probably a bit over anxious and don'tleave my babies alone in car until they are about 1. I either avoid it or get them out. However with current baby (9months) I am happy to leave her with my older kids age 5 and 9. I just don't like to have them out of sound/hearing when they are so tiny....

Ps I think things you have heard do affect your assessment of risk. There has been a recent (never heard of before) car jacking in our area and it affects what I do despite it being extremely unlikely to happen to me!

Delphiniumsblue · 30/03/2014 12:47

I could tell you horror story after horror story of car accidents involving children and yet people still travel with them in the car! If you find the risk too much at petrol stations it logically follows that you must never take them anywhere by car! Statistically most accidents happen in the home.

Newrowsees · 30/03/2014 12:54

I've never been able to work out which option is better (and I've agonised over it, believe me). My solution has so far been to get DP to fill up when he's in his own. Pathetic, I realise!

differentnameforthis · 30/03/2014 12:54

These women on Fb are calling it neglect and saying anything could happen

To be fair, it is illegal to leave children unattended in cars here (Australia) even if only paying for petrol. And yes, people HAVE been prosecuted for it.

Sallyingforth · 30/03/2014 12:56

Statistically most accidents happen in the home.

Quite right. Leave the baby locked in the car, it will be much safer.

:)

whatever5 · 30/03/2014 13:18

I could tell you horror story after horror story of car accidents involving children and yet people still travel with them in the car! If you find the risk too much at petrol stations it logically follows that you must never take them anywhere by car!

You have to go in a car though to get anywhere though so benefits outweigh the risk. Most people (unless they are single) don't have get petrol while their children are in the car.