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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paying for petrol

130 replies

PorkPieandPickle · 29/03/2014 19:35

Is it ok to leave a sleeping baby in the car (locked) while you pay for petrol? My husband says its fine as you can see the car from the shop, but this parenting group on FB have been totally slating women who do this.
I usually have a sensible handle on things but this one is confusing me. I have always asked my husband to fill up so I don't have to avoiding the situation but he keeps telling me its fine to leave her (but humours me anyway and fills up!)

OP posts:
TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 29/03/2014 20:31

Yeah, I do. Of course there's a risk but there's a risk walking the child across the forecourt too.

Waltonswatcher1 · 29/03/2014 21:14

Nope ! Not hysterical at all actually - just wish I'd never watched Oprah 15 years ago and listened to the harrowing account of the toddler who died whilst dragged along the road whilst car thrives stole the car .
Small local petrol station , rural location , been there hundreds of times etc . It was utterly gruesome and sadly true .
The op asked for opinions !

formerbabe · 29/03/2014 21:17

Other things we do with our kids are far more dangerous...

Crossing the road with them for instance. That is statistically much more dangerous but we still do it.

zookeeper · 29/03/2014 21:21

I am always amazed about people who worry so much about their dcs they leave them in a car whilst they walk a few meters away to pay for fuel. It's like worrying about them playing in the garden in case they're hit by a falling plane. Just utterly ridiculous.

RedSoloCup · 29/03/2014 21:26

It's fine, until DC3 who would suddenly wake up and scream blue murder so I used to take her in with me (she was normally awake anyway and I didn't take car seat out).

She waits in the car now though.

poppypowers · 29/03/2014 21:26

I have never taken them in to pay - all 3 who are 5,4 and 2 stay in the car. I lock the car and always watch the car. The petrol stations I use usually have security guards stood on the forecourt and CCTV. I also lock the car so that there is no chance of it being stolen. It's more dangerous getting a screaming toddler who runs into the road - out of the car!

hugoagogo · 29/03/2014 21:26

I always took them in with me, when they were little.

hugoagogo · 29/03/2014 21:28

Seeing them whilst I paid never an option for me, as I am only five feet tall.

FunkyBoldRibena · 29/03/2014 21:29

You are walking what, 15 feet away from the car? A car which you can watch from those big glass windows?

I do wonder sometimes...

NancyJones · 29/03/2014 21:40

I read something once which said that petrol companies refused to advise on this because on researching, there was just as many accidents/horror stories involving children being hit by debris, reversed over, running in front of cars whilst parents tried to ferry their brood across forecourts. So they leave it up to parents to decide which of the two relatively even risks to take.

Nocomet · 29/03/2014 21:45

DDs were always left in the car unless I wanted them to choose sweets/drinks in a long trip.

Far more risk of them getting run over than anything else. Once they could undo their belts I locked the car (DD2 had no road sense and I did not want her coming to find me).

Pay at pump is a weird new fangled idea.

1stMrsF · 29/03/2014 21:53

I am totally of the opinion that you never leave kids unattended, i never left them in the car sleeping on the drive etc. BUT i have always left them while I paid for petrol. You can see the car the whole time. I would always lock the car and do even now at almost 5yo (find out where the button is that switches off the inside movement detector for the security alarm) but generally this is one of the most safe things you might have to do as a parent I think. I would say also that wherever possible I tried to avoid it, e.g. Filling up at the weekend when DH around, but its just not always possible.

fairylightsintheloft · 29/03/2014 21:55

Walton that is ludicrous. Good parenting is about assessing risk, not eliminating it (which is impossible anyway). The liklihood of the incident you describe happening (or the combusting cars, lorries taking roofs off petrol stations etc) are infinitesimal small. It makes no logical sense that you would take action to avoid these potential risks whilst exposing yourself and your children to the risk that is driving in the first place. Cars crash, brakes fail, people jump red lights, wet roads cause skids, animals dart out on country lanes, people pull out without checking blind spots......

GinSoakedMisery · 29/03/2014 21:59

There is a MN who left her child/ren in the car when paying for petrol and her car caught fire. Not to be mocked. Sorry, can't remember who it was.

I do think though, that this was an extreme case and the majority of cars and children contained within are much safer in the car tha. Being taken across a busy forecourt and paying for petrol. I've always left my DC in the car. I usually piss people off though and leave car at the pump,rather than parking as I can't see the car if I park.

OddFodd · 29/03/2014 22:04

Some people aren't very good at risk assessment. The right way to deal with any situation is to assess the risks logically (ie not in a OMFG I saw something on Oprah way) and make a judgement call based on those risks. Do a quick risk matrix in your head if it helps - likelihood on a scale of 1-5 vs risk (ie small injury to major one/death) on the same scale

So - something happening to your child while its asleep in your car = very unlikely/probably bad = 4

something happening to your child while you cross the forecourt = slightly more likely/probably bad = 6

your child waking up and screaming blue murder because you dragged him out from his cosy car seat and across the forecourt = very likely/not at all bad = 5

That last one is a bit of a silly example but if you assess risk correctly, it's more dangerous to take your child out than to leave them in the car.

Nocomet · 29/03/2014 22:19

Chance of DD2 getting squashed in forecourt
Very probable/very bad =8

Chance of DD1 messing with things in shop
Certain/Blush

Delphiniumsblue · 29/03/2014 22:39

I don't see how you do anything else. I have a friend with twin babies and a toddler- how on earth would she manage? It was bad enough when I had a baby and a toddler. Do you wake them up?

Waltonswatcher1 · 29/03/2014 23:04

Back off guys !! It's only an opinion and if you read my post it said I wish I hadn't watched It ! ( never watch tv now or read newspapers)
It was an awful story that the mother recounted and it was traumatic it burned into my brain .
I am actually very risk relaxed , I don't have stair gates ; give my toddler whole nuts ; and allow her to ride her horse with no helmet on .
I just don't like kids in cars alone . This isn't 'ludicrous ' , its just my area of concern . You will all have one particular to you .
( no horse btw, just tickling yer ribs)

Waltonswatcher1 · 29/03/2014 23:05

Balloons . Forgot to mention those - scared witless of them too . Ludicrous too ?

TeaAndALemonTart · 29/03/2014 23:10

Off topic but why on earth would you let your DC ride a horse without a helmet? That's stupidity.

VivaLeBeaver · 29/03/2014 23:12

Cars combust? Very rarely and it could happen while driving along the road with DC in the car. Maybe we should all stop driving?

Car might get stolen? Really? When locked on a petrol forecourt in full view of the parent and on CCTV? Do you not think the parent will have come running out the kiosk shrieking by the time they've managed to force the lock? Its hardly a great distance from the pump to the kiosk.

I used to do it when dd was little.

OddFodd · 29/03/2014 23:14

I wasn't actually having a go at you particularly Waltons - sorry

(Tea - she was joking about the horse I think!)

bonkersLFDT20 · 29/03/2014 23:17

I feel you are more at risk of getting knocked into while you move about the forecourt than while in a stationary car therefore I would choose to leave a baby in the car, asleep or otherwise (strapped in of course).

Walton safest is not to drive at all. We all take risks. The best we can do is make our own judgement on what risks we want to take. Hopefully our judgements come from informing ourselves of the risks rather than response to hysteria.

FutTheShuckUp · 29/03/2014 23:18

They're right. Anything COULD happen. But it most probably won't

Jolleigh · 29/03/2014 23:34

Walton I won't mock you for the Oprah thing - I'm sure it was tragic to watch and you're entitled to an opinion. Cars combusting though? How is a car any more likely to combust in a petrol station than anywhere else? And if a car combusts in a petrol station, I'd imagine it's not going to matter where abouts you are...there's a lot of fuel in a very small area. Surely the way to minimise the risk of being caught up in an explosion caused by a combusting car in a petrol station is to get in and out of the petrol station as quickly as possible?

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