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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not pay for 15 minutes babysitting

237 replies

Hoppinggreen · 27/03/2014 11:58

I'm going out with some people I don't know well next weekend. Usually when I go out with my mates we all make sure everyone gets home ok/ taxi shares etc but I'm not sure I can ask these people I don't know well. I am getting a lift there with someone but she has said she's staying out very late and I don't want to. DH not keen on my wandering around town alone looking for a taxi so want to pick me up ( will be out of the house 15 mins tops). There is no question of leaving the sleeping DC's obvs.
My neighbours 16 year old babysits for us sometimes and I pay her £5 an hour. We know the family well and help each other out - they feed cats for us when we are away and I sometimes let their dog out etc.
I was thinking of asking the daughter to come and sit in the house while DH picks me up - should I offer to pay her? If so how much?
Before I get told to " woman up" and get a taxi I'm just not comfortable with it and neither is DH and he wants to pick me up, which I would prefer too.

OP posts:
Edendance · 28/03/2014 11:41

Could your DH make the most of it and have a night out too with friends? Then you could go home together either one of you driving or getting a taxi together which would solve your problem of getting home, increase your confidence with getting a taxi and your DHs confidence in you getting a taxi as well as giving you both a nice night out.

Either get the 16 year old neighbour to do it and pay her as usual or someone else who you know.

flipchart · 28/03/2014 11:58

You'd think I was asking some of this lot to come and collect me!!

Wish I hadn't taken a mouth full of coffee when I read that! Made me laugh!

SelectAUserName · 28/03/2014 12:20

Hope you have a great night OP.

IamBad · 28/03/2014 12:58

It is one of the most pathetic threads I have read here.

FabBakerGirl · 28/03/2014 13:13

Would you consider some kind of therapy help? Not wanting to take a taxi, and needing someone to walk you to your car, really inplacts on your life and suggest you need some help.

ExcuseTypos · 28/03/2014 13:33

I'm glad I'm not the only one who wouldn't dream of taking a taxi to my house. They drive like wankers round here, we never use them and always make other arrangements as do almost everyone I know.

Don't think that means Non taxi users are a fanny or need therapy.

Have a great night OP.

qo · 28/03/2014 13:34

FabBakerGirl, as I said upthread I have a problem using taxis too and a strong social anxiety around people I don't know well.

I did look for helpo but could only access 12 free sessions through the NHS, it wasn't enough.

Sometimes just asking for the help in the first place doesn't come easily either, especially with social anxiety (you have to go out to see the doctor in the first place)

qo · 28/03/2014 13:35

Although I'm not saying OP has the same problems as me, it's just that a lot of people on this thread haven't considered that she may have. I find it really sad to be honest, when people are so quick to judge.

Even if she just hates getting taxis - that's her life and her decision.

IamBad · 28/03/2014 13:39

But OP said there were no specific reasons why she didnt want a taxi. She just sounds entitled. Dh must pick her up and next door teen must do her a favour ar 11pm

Bet the favour neighbour just asked is very reasonable instead of asking a teen to be awake until 11 to go and sit in her house for 15 minutes only and not getting nothing in return. Why she didnt think of asking the favour to the teen's mum in the 1st place is anyone's guess.

LiberalLibertine · 28/03/2014 13:40

Pathetic in what way Iam ?

LiberalLibertine · 28/03/2014 13:41

She didn't say there were no specific reasons, she said she doesn't want to say what those reasons are.

qo · 28/03/2014 13:52

Jeez louise!

IamaBreastfeedingTramp · 28/03/2014 13:52

Iam Your posts are some of the most pathetic I have ever read on here.

You can't possibly have read the thread and if you have you've decided to ignore anything that doesn't fit in with your desire to give a series of nasty little responses.

You have no idea why she doesn't want a taxi but it doesn't take a genius (and only an ounce of empathy) to think of several good reasons she may have.

Hope you have a lovely evening OP.

iloveny001 · 28/03/2014 14:02

Op, have trawled through the whole thread and think you've been given a hard time. You reasons for doing or not doing anything are your own, and its no one else's business unless you feel comfortable disclosing. Hope you have a lovely evening out, well done for pushing your comfort zones.

BerylStreep · 28/03/2014 14:06

OK, I know this has turned into a bun fight and has moved on a bit, but based on the first few pages:

  1. I think you would need to pay her, or at least have a small mountain of chocolate (probably cheaper to pay). 15 minutes at 11pm is very different to 15 minutes at 5pm.
  1. I pay £5 / hour for babysitting, so you are not alone.
  1. We would probably leave our DC asleep if there was a need to go out for 15 minutes anyway.
  1. In all likelihood, I would get a bus / taxi, however fully respect your preference not to. I got a complete pasting on here about a year ago for not wanting to walk 20 minutes home in the snow on my own and was ridiculed for being concerned for my personal safety.

Enjoy your night out. Is it tonight?

IamBad · 28/03/2014 14:11

It is pathetic that she has doubts about paying a teenager doing her a favour at 11pm just because she does favours for the teenager's mother and just because she needs only 15 minutes of the teenager's time.

YoureAShoe · 28/03/2014 14:53

IamBad I actually think it's more pathetic that you're getting wound up over something so trivial.
OP is hardly unreasonable for saying she doesn't want to get a taxi. She didn't say she was better than that. She doesn't want a helicopter to pick her up. She just doesn't want to be on the streets alone at night. How entitled right? Hmm

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 28/03/2014 14:55

FFS - 9 pages!!!
I'm almost flattered that me having personal reasons for worrying about getting a taxi alone have fired so many people up - about something that doesn't affect them in the slightest.
I honestly hope that having unleashed such vitriol on a total stranger has helped some posters on here to deal with their own issues and everyone has a much calmer weekend.

But seriously, if anyone does want to come and collect me that our be great, it will take about 15 minutes. ( or more if you don't live near me) and I will pay you £5 :)

OP posts:
qo · 28/03/2014 14:59

I love the way you have dealt with this thread hopping :D

ADishBestEatenCold · 28/03/2014 15:05

Iambad you're sounding a bit cross about all this. Are you?

As far as I can see OP said quite early on in the thread that she saw that she should pay the babysitter the going rate, if she went ahead and asked the girl to babysit.

What's bothering you about that? I know earlier you seemed concerned about OP not wanting to get a taxi, when you asked her "Do you think the taxi driver will attack you?" and OP did acknowledge that might be an irrational fear.
(But we don't know why she acknowledges that that might be an irrational fear, could be a case of 'okay, probably nothing will happen' OR could be case of 'it already has happened, but okay, lightning probably wouldn't strike twice).

So given all that's been posted, as I said, Iambad you're sounding a bit cross about all this. Are you?

Incidentally (and this is not about the subject of this thread, which is of course about paying a babysitter), I directly know of two women who have been physically (not sexually) assaulted by taxi drivers in the past year, one of them TWICE , and on one of these occasions the assault stopped only upon the intervention of passers-by. Coincidentally (or not) this all took place in (vaguely) the same area and I gather there are actually now some changes to licencing being addressed.

YoureAShoe · 28/03/2014 15:14

Hopping what area do you live in, if by me I actually would be more than happy to provide a lift for a fiver Grin

Maryz · 28/03/2014 15:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sarahandmallard · 28/03/2014 15:29

so OP, are you going to get a taxi? Grin

BerylStreep · 28/03/2014 15:38

Actually, my poor sis was sexually attacked by a taxi driver. It was horrific, and lasted for hours. It had a massive effect on her for years and years, and probably still does but she doesn't let it show anymore.

I have also had a horrible experience - not as bad as that, but some creep was asking me whether I had a boyfriend, yad ye ya - he was so persistent that I got out at a set of lights and hailed down a police car.

My last experience was a taxi driver threatening to punch my DH because he had the temerity to ask if he would mind slowing down.

Sorry OP, not particularly reassuring, and I am sure that the vast majority of taxi drivers are completely professional and safe, but it does go to show that your fears are not completely unfounded.

I think using a reputable firm, sitting in the back seat, and speaking to your DH by phone when you are in the taxi should keep you safe.

ADishBestEatenCold · 28/03/2014 15:46

"I think using a reputable firm, sitting in the back seat, and speaking to your DH by phone when you are in the taxi should keep you safe"

Since we're staying on the subject of taxis a bit Grin can I add that I have heard it recommended that customers should use their phone to photograph the vehicle number plate and the taxi license disc/plate/number, immediately 'sending' those photographs to a secure number. Sounds like photographing the actual driver might not be a bad idea, too, in some areas!

Also hope you have a great night out hopping.