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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for 15 minutes babysitting

237 replies

Hoppinggreen · 27/03/2014 11:58

I'm going out with some people I don't know well next weekend. Usually when I go out with my mates we all make sure everyone gets home ok/ taxi shares etc but I'm not sure I can ask these people I don't know well. I am getting a lift there with someone but she has said she's staying out very late and I don't want to. DH not keen on my wandering around town alone looking for a taxi so want to pick me up ( will be out of the house 15 mins tops). There is no question of leaving the sleeping DC's obvs.
My neighbours 16 year old babysits for us sometimes and I pay her £5 an hour. We know the family well and help each other out - they feed cats for us when we are away and I sometimes let their dog out etc.
I was thinking of asking the daughter to come and sit in the house while DH picks me up - should I offer to pay her? If so how much?
Before I get told to " woman up" and get a taxi I'm just not comfortable with it and neither is DH and he wants to pick me up, which I would prefer too.

OP posts:
Downtheroadfirstonleft · 27/03/2014 18:52

It's a shame that you value and respect your babysitter's time so very, very little. I would do it free as a favour for a friend or good neighbour, but would be very cross if my daughter was being taken advantage of.

I hope you don't offer payment in such a way that she feels she has to turn it down....

LIZS · 27/03/2014 18:55

You're expecting her to stay up and be available on an evening to suit you , of course she should be paid and for at least a full hour even if it turns out to be 15 mins. If it were your neighbour then maybe you could do it as a reciprocal favour. Why not ask the others if anyone is going back home in your direction and would share a cab if you prebook ? You could even offer to drop another home if your dh does come out.

Delphiniumsblue · 27/03/2014 19:02

I would say it is very simple, just give her £5.

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 27/03/2014 19:04

Read it again people - should I offer to pay her? If so how much?

Yes I should . At least £5

As it happens ( and as I've said quite a few times) I'm not even going to ask. I've done similar for neighbours and we all do things to help each other but it seems that the majority opinion is that it's unfair of me to ask so fair enough I won't .

OP posts:
Fairy1303 · 27/03/2014 19:16

OP I feel really sorry for you, you are being given a really unnecessary hard time.

You need to do what you are comfortable with re; taxi - it sounds like you have had a bad experience and even if you haven't, how you feel is completely valid and nobody's business but your own.

I do agree that you need to pay your babysitter though.

EatShitDerek · 27/03/2014 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Delphiniumsblue · 27/03/2014 19:17

You could ask your neighbour to do it as a favour, it just isn't fair to ask the daughter.

somersethouse · 27/03/2014 19:31

back in my day, after 11pm was double time.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 27/03/2014 19:33

OP was pretty aggressive herself as soon as it looked like the general consensus wasn't in her favour.

Sparklysilversequins · 27/03/2014 19:36

All this angst because you don't want to jump into a taxi? Ridiculous.

JodieGarberJacob · 27/03/2014 19:38

I think what people are trying to point out is that favours are usual between neighbours and don't include their children. If you were asking the parent then it would have been perfectly reasonable to ask if you should offer to pay them or not.

MissDuke · 27/03/2014 19:41

I think it is very sweet that dh wants to pick you up. I think 11pm is quite late to ask her to come over, I would be either asleep or lounging in my jammies by then personally, so I think it is correct to pay her for the inconvenience. It is worth it for peace of mind for you both. As someone said, I would happily do it for a friend for nothing, but I wouldn't expect my daughter to do it for my friend for free, ya know? Hope you have a fab time!

ChestyNut · 27/03/2014 19:44

People should be mindful that there's a person behind the screen.

EatShitDerek · 27/03/2014 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MistressDeeCee · 27/03/2014 20:03

Well - my OH doesnt like me getting taxis either so on a late night out, he picks me up. He prefers that, and so do I. For various reasons. My issue was with the not wanting to give the 16 year old a fiver for babysitting. I dont think that would be tried if she were older, and I think its mean. That & the taxi are 2 separate matters

givemeaclue · 27/03/2014 20:35

you would think this night out was in timbuctoo not a 15 min round trip away.

IamBad · 28/03/2014 07:33

The problem is OP shouldn't even be wondering IF she should pay and how much. Did she wanted people advise she should pay £1.25 only? How this even became a issue in her mind? Also her title and her explanation of how many favours she does to people.
And she said her fear to get a taxi is totally irrational.
Going out with people she doesn't know well and wouldn't even share a taxi with.
Why bother going out at all?

SelectAUserName · 28/03/2014 07:45

It's threads like this which prove that, sadly, "nest of vipers" isn't just an ironic in joke. Hmm

VenusOfWillendorf · 28/03/2014 07:46

If you do the odd favor for the girl herself (give her lifts or something, not too sure what favors you would do for a 16 yr old), then I think asking her as a favor is fine.
But if the favors are for her parents, then ask them, not her, or ask someone that you do help out.
Otherwise, just offer it to her a small (paid) job :)

MsAspreyDiamonds · 28/03/2014 07:54

Pay her 5 for the hassle that she is saving you even if she is only baby sitting for 15 mins. Paying her any less than that would be a bit mean spirited.

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 28/03/2014 07:59

For people who can't be arsed read the thread - don't blame you it's bloody long!!!!
I will not be paying the babysitter as I will not be getting one.
End of

OP posts:
thebody · 28/03/2014 08:00

of course you have to at least offer to pay her. the adults might do each other favours for free but you can't expect a 16 year old to do this. why would you?

or,as others have said ,book a taxi to pick you up from your venue. most will text you when they are outside.

thebody · 28/03/2014 08:01

oh you not going then? waste of a read then.Grin

SelectAUserName · 28/03/2014 08:04

For those of the hard of thinking persuasion:

THE OP DECIDED SEVERAL PAGES AGO TO MAKE ALTERNATIVE CHILDCARE ARRANGEMENTS.

THE TAXI / LIFT SITUATION IS NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION.

At least read the OP's posts even if you can't be arsed to read the whole damn thread.

Quinteszilla · 28/03/2014 08:07

Oooh, I bet you is headed for a Kinky all female Munch. Wink

I would also prefer to have my dh come and get me. Grin

Enjoy your evening out, but pay the babysitter.

I would not assume that a 16 year was going to be home, so she might be coming home early to accommodate you, so it would be especially galling if you did not pay. Might make baby sitting arrangements in future difficult.