To not pay for 15 minutes babysitting

[Hoppinggreen]

I'm going out with some people I don't know well next weekend. Usually when I go out with my mates we all make sure everyone gets home ok/ taxi shares etc but I'm not sure I can ask these people I don't know well. I am getting a lift there with someone but she has said she's staying out very late and I don't want to. DH not keen on my wandering around town alone looking for a taxi so want to pick me up ( will be out of the house 15 mins tops). There is no question of leaving the sleeping DC's obvs.
My neighbours 16 year old babysits for us sometimes and I pay her £5 an hour. We know the family well and help each other out - they feed cats for us when we are away and I sometimes let their dog out etc.
I was thinking of asking the daughter to come and sit in the house while DH picks me up - should I offer to pay her? If so how much?
Before I get told to " woman up" and get a taxi I'm just not comfortable with it and neither is DH and he wants to pick me up, which I would prefer too.

Where is the actual abuse? Have I missed it?
I saw lots of people saying you should pay the babysitter.
I saw some people saying you should book a taxi.
I saw a couple of people suggest that you drive yourself there and back.
I saw some people shocked that you can get a babysitter for a me £5 ph
I saw some people suggest that YABU.
But I didn't see any actual abuse.

I understand that you don't want to get a taxi, but there are other more reasonable solutions than getting a 16 year old to come over at 11pm so that your husband can come and pick you up.

1. Per book a taxi with a local firm and ensure that your husband knows which firm you have booked. You could phone him when the taxi arrives and keep talking to him until you arrive home. That might put you at ease in the taxi.
2. you could drive and not have a drink. Problem solved all round.

3 you could get your husband to come and pick you up and pay the 16 year old a fiver.

1. You could get the 16 year old to babysit all evening and your husband could join you on the night out. You would have to pay the 16 year old of course.

Nursery, I would have been delighted to pop next door for 15 minutes when I was 16 for £5 but I realise she might not be so I'm not going to ask.
It was actually DH's idea to encourage me to go ( as I said outside my comfort zone but would be good for me to go) but I'm going to think about another solution now. DH was just trying to find a solution to my not wanting to get a taxi ( which we are both not comfortable with for personal but probably quite irrational reasons)

It is a non-issue really, isn't it.

Do you think the taxi driver will attack you?

Impatient
I class being called a Fanny, a drip and suggestion DH was my Daddy as abuse.

1. Will probably do that
2. Another good option

3.decided against that

1. Girls only

Yes defo pay, especially because its at 11 at night!!

You would be paying her to do you a favour, ie. ensuring your most precious are safe, regardless of how long you need her.
11pm is bit late for expect a freebie IMHO.

If you are going out with people you are not familiar with, why don't u take
Dh with u and hire the babysitter for the evening and both get cab home?

Ignore people telling you that it makes you a drip or dependent or whatever for your DH to pick you up. I had a friend who convinced me that if I wasn't prepared to walk alone home from hers at night then I was a pathetic creature who couldn't cope without a man. I'd planned on getting a taxi as the walk home from hers was 45 minutes, ill-lit and took in several brothels, a park well known for anti-social behaviour & a hostel for quite violent people. She and I would often meet up till midnight / 1am and I walked back because I was determined to prove I wasn't soft. It was only years later when another friend who lived in the same area refused to meet me if I walked that I realised how dumb I was being. If something doesn't feel safe, don't do it regardless of what other people tell you is 'right'.

I have seen much worse on here. By AIBU standards none of that is abusive.

I think 1 is a good option as it might help build your confidence in using taxis in the future.

I don't think any of this is abusive to be honest but if OP is a bit vulnerable now it might seem it to her.

Just trying to see both sides... I'm in a good mood.

I don't get other people's rage about OP not getting a taxi! It's so not the point.

There could be a hundred reasons why. None concern us.

FWIW sometimes DH will pick me up if I've been on a night out. He always asks if I want a lift home. Sometimes I say yes or if I know I'm not sure what time I'm going to finish I'll get a taxi.

I think you should offer the whole £5. Yes she's only coming around for 15 minutes but she will have had to plan her whole evening around it (I.E, decline any offers to go out for the evening or stay at friends, which lets face it a lot of 16 year olds do) and it's fairly late so I think you should at least offer. She might well even decline the money, but I still think you should offer it.

I bet it takes longer than 15 mins.

IamBad op doesn't want to talk about why she won't get a taxi, so think it's fair to say she had a bad experience, so just leave the questions eh?

Op, I would ask the 16 year old, as a previous skint 16 year old,I to would have been overjoyed to earn a fiver in 15 minutes!

Well done for getting out of your comfort zone, and going out with people you don't know so well,I think it will do you the world of good.

You're doing great

Just give her £5. Its not much for peace of mind, is it?

If you have neighbours who will sit for free then why not use them? The teenager may be out that night too.

I wouldn't ask my neighbours but I do them favours as they're all in their 80's.

Nope no abuse.

Just some exasperated posters who are taken aback by anyone even having to ask if you pay for child care from a babysitter at 11pm, no matter how short the time. And by OP's hysterical responses at being told SIBU.

for gods sake cant you just order a taxi from a trusted local firm to get you at a fixed time|???

I think being called a 'fanny' and a'drip' counts as abuse doesn't it.

And ffs, what if the op has been raped in a taxi? she doesn't want to get a taxi (*op has never said she has, we just don't know)

Actually my " hysterical reaction" was at being told repeatedly to get a taxi when I said both me and DH weren't comfortable with it.
I totally accept it would be unreasonable not to pay the babysitter for a full hour if I was going to ask her - which I'm not.

3 options:

1. Just put the kids in the car.
2. Pay a babysitter
3. Pre book a taxi

You're making a massive issue out of nothing.

I've been in a very similar situation. I had 1 small drink at the beginning of the night and drove myself home.

Some responses have been a bit strong OP but I think you deserve a bit of flack for asking in the first place as in expecting someone to come in at that time of night without insisting on paying never mind wondering if you should offer !!

I'm not making a massive issue - it's not my fault this has gone to 5 pages!!
I asked for it to be removed hours ago.
My question was should I pay and if so how much?
Answer - yes and at least £5
The many posters talking about why I couldn't get a taxi were the ones making my question a massive issue and I thought I had pre empted that by saying we weren't comfortable with it.