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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not pay for 15 minutes babysitting

237 replies

Hoppinggreen · 27/03/2014 11:58

I'm going out with some people I don't know well next weekend. Usually when I go out with my mates we all make sure everyone gets home ok/ taxi shares etc but I'm not sure I can ask these people I don't know well. I am getting a lift there with someone but she has said she's staying out very late and I don't want to. DH not keen on my wandering around town alone looking for a taxi so want to pick me up ( will be out of the house 15 mins tops). There is no question of leaving the sleeping DC's obvs.
My neighbours 16 year old babysits for us sometimes and I pay her £5 an hour. We know the family well and help each other out - they feed cats for us when we are away and I sometimes let their dog out etc.
I was thinking of asking the daughter to come and sit in the house while DH picks me up - should I offer to pay her? If so how much?
Before I get told to " woman up" and get a taxi I'm just not comfortable with it and neither is DH and he wants to pick me up, which I would prefer too.

OP posts:

mameulah · 27/03/2014 13:45

Pay her at least £5. She is looking after your most previous thing, your baby. You would be £6 to park for 15 minutes in an airport car park.

SpringyReframed · 27/03/2014 13:48

One of my DC's babysits for a neighbour who lives very close by. I would be appalled if she didnt offer payment. (But she would because she is lovely) However, I would probably expect my DC would say dont worry about paying me for such a short time. (Because she is lovely).

A few years ago my eldest DC babysat for someone who used to pay her £15 quid for an "evening" which sometimes was a very late finish. On one occasion she gave her £20 for the evening when they rolled in at 2 am. She had the bloody cheek to call round for her change! DC didnt bother going there again.

So, what I am trying to sa,y OP is remember babysitters are someones DC's too. Treat them properly, and then they might offer you a freebie now and again!

Original poster

Hoppinggreen · 27/03/2014 13:57

I got the point a while back - IF I ask I will pay her. If she says no it's fair enough. Although, if I was 16 I would have happily popped next door for 15 minutes for £5, she might not want to which is fine.
Getting a taxi is another issue which isn't what I posted on.no one actually knows if there is a really good reason both DH and myself don't want me to get one. There is but I don't actually want to share it, I thought saying we were both uncomfortable with it would be enough but apparently not.

OP posts:

laregina · 27/03/2014 13:59

I would pay her because a) £5 is nothing and b) good reliable (and very local) babysitters are hard to find.

FWIW, our eldest is 16 and regularly babysits for his younger siblings (hurrah for teenage DC ). He always says he doesn't want or expect payment but I always give him something, even just getting him a box of his favourite chocs, so he doesn't feel taken for granted and I don't feel guilty.

laregina · 27/03/2014 14:00

PS - just realised this thread has gone on for four pages and you agreed to pay her way back - sorry OP

Logg1e · 27/03/2014 14:01

The solution is obvious, ask one of the grown-up adults who will do it for free.

UnicornCrisps · 27/03/2014 14:02

My post was sarcastic OP, you're getting a hard time over nothing. AIBU is nuts.

Comeatmefam · 27/03/2014 14:02

Not sure why you posted really.

You don't think you're BU with suggesting a teenager babysits for you late at night for fuck all.

You're getting shirty at people's opinions (and re 'I got the point a while back' - new posters will keep coming across your thread and commenting, and it just enforces the fact that most people are saying the same thing).

Re the cab thing, I get it... you've had a bad experience. But you therefore need to think ahead and be more organised - order cab, have babysitter so dh goes out and picks you up or you drive etc.

laregina · 27/03/2014 14:02

And PPS I don't like getting taxis late at night alone either, fair enough IMO.

Logg1e · 27/03/2014 14:02

"Grown-up adults"?? I meant grown-up neighbours (I can understand why a 16 year old wouldn't do it for free).

NoelOfLorst · 27/03/2014 14:03

If the taxi is only going to be £5 it can't be that far away- so I'd walk!

Original poster

Hoppinggreen · 27/03/2014 14:12

Wouldn't need sensible shoes for that Noel!!
I usually go out with a group of close friends who all look out for each other and make sure we all get home ok.
I am going out of my comfort zone to go out with people I don't know so don't want to go into detail with them as to why I am not comfortable just getting a taxi.
As for why I'm being defensive ? Have you read the comments? Opinions are one thing but there's some actual abuse on there. I have asked NMHQ to delete but perhaps they think that some posters are having way too much fun working out their anger anonymously on here.
Once again thank you to everyone who offered opinions on the question I actually asked - I can see I was being unfair to my neighbour ( although I actually hadn't I was just wondering whether it was unfair or not). I will work out another solution, possibly involving driving - would have to ask someone to walk me to my car then though. Perhaps I should be brave and get a taxi, I know plenty of lone women do safely.
Off to stab kittens to death now!!!! Well no I'm not but I would probably get less abuse for it than posting on here.

OP posts:

Logg1e · 27/03/2014 14:29

I don't see a problem with you not getting a taxi. My partner and I always picked each other up (pre-children when we actually went out).

Logg1e · 27/03/2014 14:33

You do seem to be overreacting to people thinking YABU though.

kennyp · 27/03/2014 14:36

i'd say it's worth paying her a fiver as a; she's your babysitter and it's nice to be a nice employer and b; surely you'd pay her a fiver??!?!??!?!?! i would be shooting myself in the foot if i wasn't nice to my babysitters.

plus it's late (unless she's nocturnal by trade) and a fiver isn't a massive amount of money in the grand scheme of things.

flipchart · 27/03/2014 14:39

I don't think the OP is overreacting.

She is getting advice on something she didn't ask for ( the taxi ) and had already anticipated she would get this in her OP.

The issue was about the babysitting not how to get home.

Logg1e · 27/03/2014 14:40

It's the hyperbole flipchart.

NurseyWursey · 27/03/2014 14:41

So what have you decided on OP?

Original poster

Hoppinggreen · 27/03/2014 14:41

Ok. One last time
Not going to ask babysitter, going to make other plans.
If I did ask babysitter I would pay.
Not going into why I don't want to get a taxi
Hopefully that's clear now.

OP posts:

IamaBreastfeedingTramp · 27/03/2014 14:42

I don't think the OP is overreacting!

She said pages ago that she'd pay the girl but has since been called a 'drip' and a 'fanny' regardless!! Charming!

IamBad · 27/03/2014 14:43

What is wrong with getting a taxi anyway?
Is it dangerous there were you live?

NurseyWursey · 27/03/2014 14:44

How come you don't want to get the babysitter OP, just me being nosy sorry

NurseyWursey · 27/03/2014 14:44

And sometimes people aren't comfortable with taxis! We don't know if the OP has had a bad experience so comments like 'drip' are uncalled for.

expatinscotland · 27/03/2014 14:47

Wow. Just wow.

Joules68 · 27/03/2014 14:49

Op this 16 year old might actually have a life and be unavailable that night anyway..

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