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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want dh to go to a meeting 2.5 hours away when I am 39 weeks pg?

43 replies

Beegey · 26/03/2014 16:44

That's it, really. He is insisting that he must meet up with this client, at this time (or a week earlier). This is dc3. Dc1 was born a couple of days before her due date and dc2 was exactly 39 weeks. I had a crappy time with various complications each birth.

I don't have any family around so if I did go into labour quickly I would be on my own. I really don't want to be unreasonable and am finding it difficult to judge objectively if I am being ( given I am tired and 37 weeks now!)

OP posts:

MyNameIsKenAdams · 26/03/2014 16:45

Who is watching the dcs while you are in labour?

Finola1step · 26/03/2014 16:47

Tell him to meet up with this client ASAP and no later than 10 days before your due date. Plus you would then appreciate him being in a radius which is much, much closer to home because you do not want to be looking after two young dc whilst being in labour.

wink1970 · 26/03/2014 16:51

are you likely to give birth 2.5 hours after starting labour? if not, it's not unreasonable to let him attend his meeting but keep his phone on & in front of him so he can come swiftly back.

ICanSeeTheSun · 26/03/2014 16:55

Wink it would be 5 hours and totally unprofessional to walk out on a meeting.

Sirzy · 26/03/2014 16:55

i would ask for him to try to arrange it for the week earlier or as soon as possible. But realistically if his job needs him to attend the meeting there probably isn't a lot of choice in the matter

wishingchair · 26/03/2014 16:57

Ask him to meet with the client a week earlier like you say he can in your OP.

A colleague of mine is in the US and her DH works 3 states away. He supported her through labour via hands free as he frantically drove through the night. Arrived just after baby was born.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 26/03/2014 16:58

sure it will be fine, he can be back in 2 half hours surely you will have enough time from the first niggle to get him by your side.

TarkaTheOtter · 26/03/2014 17:05

Think people are missing the point that op would like her dh to support her whilst in labour not pitch up just in time to see the baby born.
How quickly did your first two labours develop?

WestieMamma · 26/03/2014 17:14

YANBU

DH booked 2 weeks off before DS was due as his commute is about that length. Unfortunately DS arrived on his last day and he missed the birth .

JennyOnAPlate · 26/03/2014 17:16

I don't think Yabu at all. But then my last labour was only 3 hours. I would think that theres a chance a third labour could be quick.

Blueberrybaby · 26/03/2014 17:16

I think he should arrange the meeting as early as he can and make sure he is contactable etc. Its only 2.5 hours. He could get back in time to support you. I am sure the client will understand if he explains the situation why the need to meet earlier, cancel at short notice or even make a swift departure if necessary. I disagree with a pp who said it was unprofessional to duck out on a meeting if he had to make a swift exit. I think most people would absolutely understand.

BargainLil · 26/03/2014 17:17

Given the circumstances, couldn't your dh ask his client to relocate the meeting and arrange to meet nearer to your home town on this occasion? Doing it this way, if you do need your DH, he can finish his meeting and be with you sooner rather than be faced with a 2 1/2 hour journey? Or there's always skype!!

Sirzy · 26/03/2014 17:17

Of course she does takara. But at the same time he has to work and not everything can be rearranged.

SelectAUserName · 26/03/2014 17:19

Does he have to meet the client in person? No option to skype / video conference?

MerylStrop · 26/03/2014 17:20

Can he not meet them sooner?

Can he not send a colleague?

Or Skype? People do, these days

Though of course you can never tell…. do you labour very fast?

Disagree about it being unprofessional to pull out of meeting at last meeting or leave early…perhaps the best excuse on the planet.

lanbro · 26/03/2014 17:25

My second labour was only 2 hours from start to finish so I wouldn't want dh to be that far away. YANBU!

neolara · 26/03/2014 17:29

My last labour was 30 mins start to finish. Delivered by dh at home. My first labour was only 4 1/2 hours from first twinge to baby. I would be very unhappy with this arrangement OP.

JohnCusacksWife · 26/03/2014 17:31

Personally I wouldn't be happy with that but only because both my labours were very quick. DD1 6hrs from first niggle to birth and DD2 4 hours. Having said that in both cases I'd had a show the day before so we knew something was imminent.

But if your labours are generally longer then you'd probably be ok.

bobot · 26/03/2014 18:06

I wouldn't even think of asking him not to, but then my 3 labours have all taken over 24 hours from the first contractions. If you have v fast labours it might be different?

eurochick · 26/03/2014 18:07

How would it be 5 hrs? He is hardly going to set out, go to the meeting and then turn around and come back if the OP is in labour, is he? The most it is going to be is 2.5 hrs, if he completes his journey to the meeting and is then told that labour has started. How long were your previous labours?

I'd say he should set up the meeting as soon as possible and warn people of the circumstances. It's far from unknown for people to leave meetings for this reason in the City. I recall one chap going into panic mode as his one job had been to buy a sieve (water birth) and when he got the call to say his wife was in labour, he was running round the office trying to work out where he could buy a sieve on his way to the station!

ThatBloodyWoman · 26/03/2014 18:12

Tricky in that he obviously doesn't see the problem.

My dh asked to be kept close to home in the lead up to our dc's births.

I think your dh could rearrange it if he wants to.
And I think he should if you want him to.

Sirzy · 26/03/2014 18:15

I think your dh could rearrange it if he wants to.

we don't know that though do we. Only he knows how easy it is to rearrange, or if someone else can go in his place.

But given the OP is currently 37 weeks it could (hopefully not) be 5 weeks before the baby arrives, then 2 weeks paternity leave so we could be getting close to 2 months before it is rearranged.

its far from ideal but sometimes there is no options unfortunatly

ThatBloodyWoman · 26/03/2014 18:17

If he suddenly got the screaming shits he'd be able to rearrange it....

Seriously, there are times when it has to happen so why can't this be one of them?

ICanSeeTheSun · 26/03/2014 18:20

He could set off for the drive and op goes into labour, you can't look at your phone while driving.

PenguinDancer · 26/03/2014 18:20

YABU. I know ideally he would be there the whole time but life must go on, people need to work, meetings must be attended. Hope all goes well :)

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