To be shocked at neighbour??

[DomesticDisgrace]

I was having a very rare chat with my downstairs neighbour, I'm in a duplex and she's in a flat underneath with her front door under the stairs to my place. Two very separate buildings really and you can hear absolutely nothing from one to the other.
We were talking about ovens and I was saying I'm a pretty useless cook but really been trying this year, something was said about what shelf is best and she said "because heat rises", at this stage DD was getting impatient and I just made a stupid joke about how that'll come in handy for me next winter (given that she lives underneath), not even true because I had my heating on loads this winter and I only said it out of silliness.

Well I've just gotten a text from her saying "Domestic, I've been thinking after our discussion earlier and I'm feeling a little hard done by if I'm honest. Perhaps we could have a chat later on and come up with the fairest way of dealing with the issue regarding heating"

What the actual fuck, I don't know what to say back but I really can't afford to pay her for having her heat on just because heat rises??

You're okay thanks uncleT stuff asked/complained over is so peculiar it would out me in a moment and quite frankly, they are odd enough without making matters worse for ourselves. OP I'd avoid in future. Think 'this too shall pass'. .

Yes I thought ASD right from the start. But could also be mental health issues as woodrunner says.

At least now you know and you won't be sharing with her any more private info. I'm a bit that she knows so much about you and you have each other phone numbers. I know it's tempting but I wouldn't reply anymore, you might properly set ger off.

Mental issues or not, she seems spiteful.

Drinkfeckgirls I love your name!!
She has my number because she picked up a small toy DD had dropped outside and knocked on the door to return it that evening, but I'm one of those people who doesn't open the door unless I know who it is when it's dark out etc so she popped it through the letterbox so the next day I popped a note in her letterbox to say thanks and sorry I didn't open the door (the lights were all on so I was afraid I'd look rude) and I popped my number on it if she ever needed me for anything.

I have no intention of dragging it on and I'll give a polite hello when I see her, I was furious when I thought she was just being horrible but the deserted wives link has pushed it into completely different territory altogether!

The bit I find really weird though, is that it was ME who mentioned the "me benefitting from her heat" thing so it's not even something that ever bothered her before. She went from not even ever having considered it, to wanting me to pay her, to being shockingly nasty!

This all reminds me of when my elderly parents were moved by me into a nearby ground floor (converted house) apartment. When my dad passed away and I had to move my mum out immediately as she was too infirm to live alone , I gave the required months notice to the landlord and spent the month cleaning/clearing out the flat etc. My dad bless him had been a sod for having the heating on 24/7 and full blast which was unsustainable financially and led to many a battle of wills and arguments between us.
Meanwhile the man upstairs had apparently been loving this 24hr free heat to the chimney breast etc to his flat above and had the audacity to complain about us via the landlord that his flat was now 'absolutely freezing' (it was a really cold spell for everyone here at the time!) since we had turned the heating off (not completely but left on just for a couple of hours day and night very low ) and he even closed the window from outside I had left very slightly open as I had steam cleaned all the carpets. This meant the carpets drying without any ventilation resulting in a real damp musky smell. We ended up losing a £300 bond on the house because of this 'musky' smell.
Reverse of your OP really but wouldn't they make a good pair if my man lived above your woman , can you imagine??

Oh Domestic, that sounds horrible and I am sorry for all of you really, rotten for you to hear all that nonsense and I am sad for her too tbh, it can't be a nice life, being that nasty.
It reminds me of when I was little; we lived in an upstairs flat and the guy downstairs (who was massively anti-Irish, this being London in the 80s, and my mum was an Irish single mother) banged and spat on the door and said he would 'fucking kill the paddy bitch and her dirty Fenian tramp kids' because my brother, 4, was playing 'too loudly' with his matchbox cars. Wheeling them. On carpet. We were eventually able to move away (but not until a full 9 years of abuse elapsed).

So that's a cheery story! The moral is, neighbour fights are horrid, don't escalate them! Just avoid as much as possible. And definitely keep the texts. And good luck.

I have a nutter neighbour too but I wasn't too chatty or too friendly so she largely buggered off. Although once I got a note scribbled on a letter addressed to me that I should provide correct address. the insurance people didn't put the number if my flat and the letter must have ended up in her mail box. What an inconvenience!
She's not 30 even, she has loads of time to perfect her, well, pain in the arseness.

Oh dear, you can't make it up sometimes can you [shocked]

That's awful, Custard!

Sorry, it really is, isn't it? I was only 7 so can't have been much help to mum but I remember it vividly.

I'm feeling quite emosh about it now, must get her something extra nice for Mother's Day.

Anyway, spiteful neighbours, hate 'em, DO NOT ENGAGE.

"Dear neighbour, I think we are talking at crossed purposes. I am not a deserted wife and I don't think we need to talk about the heating, no need for any further texts thank you! See you around soon, Domestic".

I tend to agree with woodrunner. Certainly am not enjoying the "give it to the bitch" and comments in a similar vein on this thread.

Oh custard :( that's awful!
My mam and dad lived in London for years and had similar stories about anti Irish housemates/thugs.

You've all been really lovely, I so appreciate it!

Out of interest how old is she is approximately?

I'm picturing a women maybe 50ish/spinster?

Not that that makes any difference to anyone just curious

Sometimes people who feel hard done by will find at times more reasons to hard done by iyswim

Sounds weird

Bingo Annie she'd be about 50 and definitely lives alone!
I'm 26 and I'm pretty sure she knows I wasn't married!

Oh well that explains it all clearly then .

She's about 50 and a spinster as well. Deffo a nutter, you're best off avoiding someone that dysfunctional.

Haha Minty that's not what I'm saying AT ALL, Annie had obviously just built up a picture from all my posts and it turns out she was correct!

((Custard)) :(

Minty I think there's enough prima facie evidence of her nuttiness without needing to entertain any comments about age or marital status.

Mintyy I have had experienced similar with a neighbour, and it sounded the same so just sort of wondered

Obviously not every 50ish Single women acts like this but some do!

The clues were there

Yeah, better watch out for all those 50ish spinsters. Terrible reputation they have. Scary.

I'm 45 and single

Love this from clowns
You could always quote Scotty from Star Trek, 'Ye canna change the laws of physics...'

Lets be Internet voyeurs and look at this logically

The OP is a single parent 26 recently made redundant and feeling a bit low

Her downstairs neighbour being older feels it's ok to introduce a suggestion she should be contributing to her heating bills

and then sends links to abandoned wives.com

Given as well the OP lives in Ireland there may be a heavy religious view held by the downstairs neighbour