Pregnant friend giving advice on breastfeeding

[Rebeccalikesgin]

My friend is pregnant and I have recently had a little girl who is 4 months old. I really struggled with breastfeeding at the beginning, with the latch, and the sore nipples etc and she witnessed me nursing quite early on in loads of pain. I persevered (proud of myself, and massive respect for every woman who has ever breastfed, ever!) and have only just stopped breastfeeding as dd seemed to not like it by more and preferred a bottle (feeling v guilty and sad about this)

Said friend smugly told me the other week that had I gone to the NCT class on breastfeeding and watched the video then I would not have had all the problems I had in the first few weeks.

AIBU to think that she's a total cow for saying this and that I hope she realises when she has her baby soon? Her baby hasnt seen the flipping video has it! It's really annoyed me!

I'm sure I wasn't this righteous and know it all when I was pregnant!!

Xx

silly cow. I bf my kids to varying lengths but dd4 was by far the worse.

you can never tell because unfortunately babies don't read the Manuels. she will learn op.

I was a flipping BF genius while pregnant. I read all the books, watched videos and had it down. I will admit completely that I was a bit about people who struggled. They obviously just hadn't done all the research. Silly billies.

Well, I had my arse kicked well and truly. I cried constantly for the first fortnight and gave up in a fit of despair. 16 months later I can still barely talk about it.

I also thought that intolerances were just faddy eating.

Karma??

DD had her first feed before I came around from the GA required to get her born.

I think it is safe to say that, as I was unconscious, not a lot of my breast feeding preparation was being used.

Maybe she did watch the video...she had stretched my tummy paper thin so it is possible....

It's the moron who wrote Emma's diary - does it still exist? that described the let-down reflex as a 'gentle tingling'.

No mention anywhere of the feeling that your nipples have been put in a vice, and then rubbed vigorously with coarse sandpaper. Wonder why not....

I count myself as lucky to have been able to breastfeed. I try to blank out the first few weeks when I cried in anticipation of them waking up and wanting to feed.

Your friend will soon learn.

You can sit smugly and revel in how useless her video was after all once the baby is here and she is wincing in pain after 40 long minutes of baby slurping!!

Ignore, ignore, ignore!!

Bwahahahahah @ 'gentle tingling'!

It was almost 14 years ago, and I still wince at the mammary memory

Tell her to f-orf!

It's not always that easy, dozy mare!

WELL DONE!

Gentle tingling my arse!!!!

So, when I have another baby, even though I know what to do and am a BF pro - it might not. Oh goody! Can't wait for all that again! I spent the first fortnight in tears too! No one tells you this shit do they!

Nope! I remember the bf ante natal class. We were handed a doll and told how to position. I very smugly held dolly in a perfect position. Easy peasy.

The thought of going through all that again puts me off another!

crispy you say no tongue tie, but have you had her checked out by an expert? DD was diagnosed with tongue tie at 8 weeks, it was missed by 2 midwives, HV, breastfeeding support worker, GP, all of which I specifically asked to look for one. She was eventually diagnosed by an infant feeding specialist, after being referred for a problem with her lip not her tongue!

mumoftwoyoungkuds interesting theory. My mum breastfed me and my brother very easily. I had a nightmare of a time with DD. However I strongly believe if it hadn't been for my mum's 'good genes' then we wouldn't have succeeded at all.

Haha, I started a thread like this yesterday about a dim witted friend who appears to think that her as yet unborn baby has read Gina Ford and will come with a manual.

Some people just turn into hormonal twats I think.

Well done for feeding until 4 months, is bloody hard going but you did your daughter proud :)

We did ours with cuddly toys. Mine was a dog.

To be fair on the midwife running the lessons, I think almost all of us managed to breast feed for at least a couple of months. Maybe stuffed animals were her secret weapon?

Your friend should get together with my XP who used to constantly nag me that I was breastfeeding DD2 all wrong - despite the fact that I'd breastfed DD1 for 2 years!
I put it down to the fact that he had bigger boobs than me

Oooh I loved breastfeeding....have been blessed with the most selective memory in history...projectile reflux, mastitis, crying as a bad latch jagged the pain, cluster feeding combined with reflux (lost a few weeks there) seem to remember by dd2 finding her attached and no clue how we both got there.

I did feel like I was at war and my body was going to flipping well win ... but I really loved a lot of it too and the cuddles, little hand squishing my boob, hefty milky suck made my whole body lurch with love for my little succubus. It is awful and joyful ...

yep that all really works well round a timetable.

smile and nod.

Thank you SqutterNut!!! That's kind of you to say Your friend will get a shock too won't she!!!
corlan your XP sounds a delight!!!
Xx

Bankholiday sorry you had a difficult time you did well to do it for that long. Xxx

YANBU!!!! Non parents giving advice to parents is very annoying. But I suppose people have no clue until they have their own baby. But even still your friend could still be sympathetic and show some empathy! My recent annoyance has been my SIL telling me how having a puppy is just like having a baby. Erm NO IT'S NOT!!

I went to NCT classes & watched a DVD & still didn't manage to BF either of mine. I think it's far too easy to have ridiculous opinions on parenting before you have kids, I know I did.

I did not attend one single bfing class. I worked it out for myself. Must have done something right as dd is 4 and still has one "boobie" feed every day

But as she's watched a video no doubt she'll do it perfectly ;D

Ah yes, the "gentle tingling" of ground glass being rubbed into your nipples..

I remember the Nct video, how the baby will magically find it's way to the breast, ha!

My DS hated bf, he would scream when I tried to get him to latch and arch away from me. Sometimes latching took 40 minutes, if it happened at all!

After seeing some lovely midwives at the bf clinic, they eventually worked out that I had no milk! And despite me trying to feed and express every two hours I never made any either. So he wouldn't latch and would fall asleep because he wasn't getting anything. He lost a shed load of weight instead.

Eventually at four weeks I gave up entirely and completely FF. It was such a relief but I felt like a failure. A year later I got told my thyroid was underactive. One of the symptoms is not being able to produce milk.

Gah, that fucking NCT breastfeeding 'workshop' actually contributed to me giving up breastfeeding ds1 at 3 weeks. They had made it look soooooo easy (lovely pics of a woman breastfeeding at the top of a cliff, walking round town with a sling etc) with the only real advice being 'if it hurts your doing it wrong'.

I naively thought breastfeeding was going to be a piece of piss, and like passmethecrisps I was a bit judgy of people who formula fed their babies

Then at 3 weeks I was crying down the phone to my mum, begging her to tell me it was 'ok' to put ds on formula (which she did!). Those 3 weeks were just horrid and I could feel myself on a slippery downhill slope.

This time breastfeeding has been so much easier, but my first experience has utterly tainted it and caused me huge anxiety issues and I have now gone onto formula with dd as well

Don't listen to your friend, she knows fuck all right now.