WIBU re bus?

[prettypleasewithsugarontop]

Every day after school we have to get bus home. It is normally a busy bus but as we get on at start we always get a seat. There are not normally seating issues when the bus is running to time.My children are at an age where I have to pay for them both.

Today the bus is 15mins late at the first stop, so by the time we get midway home and to the stop at local secondary there is a large queue of pupils waiting to get on. There are approx 5 seats free with all standing room available. bus driver let's pupils on then proceeds to try to arrange everyone imho he had let too many people on at this stop. He comes up to where I am sitting with dd2 (dd1 is on seat infront of us with a pupil beside her) and asks me to put dd2 onto my lap. I say 'will I get a refund for her fare?' he says no. I refuse to have her on my lap on the principle that I paid for that seat.

WIBU?

Actually it doesn't matter what about the practicalities of space and seatbelts etc, because that wasn't the OP's reason for refusing. It was because she wouldn't get a refund. According to OP, she would have had DD on her lap if the driver had been prepared to refund her money, thereby strangely removing any fears she may have had about seatbelt safety and discomfort!

and it doesn't need to be about getting more people on the bus. Just more people sat down which is the ideal situation.

I am 5ft and up to being about aged 10 I have had DS2 on my lap quite a few times on a bus.

I think it was just a bit of a shock for you to suddenly encounter a bit of a busy bus after living the easy life on min crowded ones till now!

It does make me sad, the lack of common courtesy these days. I'm sure adults never acted rude or entitled when I was growing up, but I see it all the time now. It falls in the same category as getting arsey with dchools instead of supporting them, teaching children good manners etc!

You were being difficult. Simple as that. You were being difficult.

Good grief. The very essence of 'entitled'.

i must agree, absolutely entitled attitude. she is only 6. of course she could sit on your knee.#

ywbu

Yabu. You pay to travel not the seat. The driver should have told you to put your child on your laptop or get off at the next stop. You were very rude. What if someone who needed the seat couldn't because you were so selfish. I'm shocked how rude you were.

The bus driver didn't specify that is was a disabled person wanting to sit down, that would be different and i would have expected the child to move for an elderly, disabled or pregnant woman. if your disablilty is hidden, unfortunatly, you will have to explain to people why you need the seat, the general population are not mind readers. She could have moved her child, for another older child to sit down, but why should she? The older child is no more entitled to a seat than her dc. If the bus driver let too many people on the bus, that's his problem, moving a child to the lap of a parent does not change the fact he has too many people on the bus. There are no seat belts on buses round here. The school coaches have them, but the fare paying buses don't.

YWBU, sounds very selfish to me.

Eh YWBU obviously but tbh it would tempt me to try and get her on as an under-5 next time as the driver clearly thought she was.

Well, everyone else has said what I would have said but YWBU. You do not pay for a seat; you pay to be taken from A to B. Have you every stood up to enable an infirm person to sit down? Are you teaching your children manners? (Do they hold their knives like pencils?) It doesn't matter that the 'extra' passengers were young people because, if your DC had stood up or sat on your knee, it would have shown manners to them as well so they could catch on and do it themselves in the future.

Why does it have to be a disabled person to whom you offer your seat?

You didn't say in your Op that she was too heavy/not enough room etc etc. You said you refused "on the principle that I paid for her seat."

Yes, YWBU. It wasn't any of the passengers fault that you feel that too many people were let on. This may well be a situation like the one in one of our rural schools, where the school run bus is from a private company, and is oversubscribed, and the drives get it in the neck if they let too many kids on, and get it in the neck if they leave them at the bus-stop.

Ah so it's not ok for your child to be sat down without a belt, so this makes it ok for you actions to mean somebody else has to stand up...without a seat belt!

I take it that given your logic, you won't take your kids on busses or trains without seat belts?

Of course YABU because you thought only about yourself with no consideration of others.

but why should she?

Because it would be polite? Because it would mean one less person having to stand up

some very selfish people in this world

Good grief, I wouldn't dream of letting one of my grandkids sit in a seat if other people were standing. They'd be happy to sit on my lap and now that some of them are getting older, they always politely offer their seats to those standing, and stand themselves. Sorry, but you do sound unreasonable.

Op - I think it is unreasonable not to have your dd sitting on your lap if it is just because you have paid for a seat, but I get the impression that the sort of bus you are talking about is like the one I used to catch with the dd's to school - ie a coach, with seatbelts, and no room for a 6 year old to sit on your lap?

What a kind bus driver getting up and trying to get as many people on as possible. I'm been on buses where the driver does a quick calculation in his rear view mirror, looks at the queue at the stop and just zooms by regardless of whether there are empty seats or standing room!

For a start, the driver let too many people on the bus, a hazard in itself. Buses have a maximum occupancy which drivers are suposed to follow. Regardless of whether the bus was late or not, he shouldn't have let extras on.

I am tall and there is no way I could have fit my dd on my lap with enough space to let someone on the seat next to me without my legs being in the aisle taking up space. Add into account school bags and lunchboxes and you can see there is not enough space especially if you get one of the seats that have the smallest space.

I can see where the Op is coming from and the only unreasonable thing about it is how you went about it. A simple explanation why she couldn't sit on your lap would have been better along with the driver following the rules of passanger amounts.

We don't know the driver let too many people on the bus, we know the op said there were people standing and tried to say that was the case but we don't know that for fact.

Buses allow standing passengers. Coaches do not

So which was it, OP?

But the OP didn't say "sorry I can't because there's not enough room and my DD wouldn't be able to have a seatbelt". She essentially said "will you make it financially worth my while? No? Then forget it"

Yabu. Lets hope your not waiting for a bus and cant get on because people wont put their kids on their laps because they're in a strop.

Just because someone looks OK physically does not mean that they are fine to stand. I've been having problems with my back since I was 18 but you wouldn't know to look at me.

Proudas-me too, but because im young people look at me and whisper when im on the bus because i wont give up my seat for oaps.id have collapsed after ten minutes, but because im young people assume i must just be inconsiderate!