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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for not having taken non-talking almost 2 yr old to the HV?

134 replies

PuffyPigeon · 20/03/2014 22:57

We don't have a two year check here. Dd is almost two and can't really say any words. The only words she has that everyone can understand is yes please and mama. She has 'words' for the dogs name, her siblings names and her dad but they're all pretty similar and sound little like they're supposed to. I give her lots of opportunities to speak, like asking would you like the red or blue cup and giving her time to respond but she doesn't. However, her comprehension is fantastic. I chatter to her all day long and she understands, agrees and disagrees in the right places and is never frustrated.

As it isn't causing a problem I wasn't planning to act, figuring one day she'll just pick it up and there'll be no stopping her but my friend thinks she's 'severely delayed' and I should get her checked out. Aibu?

OP posts:

treas · 20/03/2014 23:00

What are you scared of if you were to take her?

slowcomputer · 20/03/2014 23:01

Don't bother taking her to the health visitor but I'd take her to the GP. My son is similar and it turns out he has glue ear and mildly reduced hearing. Just being monitored at the moment but he may need grommets. It all takes time on the NHS so if she's missed a milestone which it sounds like she has (6 recognisable words at 18 months) then I'd go to the GP. Also, if her hearing is fine but she needs a bit of speech and language therapy at some point, waiting lists for that are very long too.

SantanaLopez · 20/03/2014 23:01

Sometimes you can be too close to an issue to really see it.

What's the worst that can happen?
No problem, fine.
A problem, you get help to sort it out.
Everyone's a winner.

HaymitchAbarnathy · 20/03/2014 23:02

Well if she is so is my DS who is so nearly 2 and doesn't really say many (uhuh for yes, up and maybe one or two other consistent noises he uses)words yet. He's definitely got no problem with comprehension, or communicating what he wants he just doesn't have much vocabulary. I occasionally worry, but then I think the same as you that soon it'll just click and he'll explode into language like they do. Interested to see what other people think.

ilovemountains · 20/03/2014 23:04

Yes yabu. You have no medical training, but have decided that it will sort itself out. Will it? How do you know? Your health visitor can make the necessary referrals to make sure your childre have the best start in life. You should take that opportunity.

coppertop · 20/03/2014 23:11

The problem is that when your dd does eventually get frustrated and you decide to act, there may be a very long wait before she is able to get to the top of the waiting list for help.

5madthings · 20/03/2014 23:12

Doesnt sound that unusual for almost two, I habe had early takers and late talkers, ds2 and ds4 was later, over two but then the suddenly exploded with speach.

I didmt get them checked out as they clealry understood everything, they wwre jsit slightky later talking, still within the realms of normal tho. If you are not cocnerned in any other respect I wpuldnt worry. She cert8anly doesnt sound 'severly delayed'.

Of you think a quick check with hv will set your mind at rest then do so.

summertimeandthelivingiseasy · 20/03/2014 23:14

I had a full range of development tests with DS who was just saying variations of 'Oh No' at that age, but HV wasn't worried.

Gave up and took him to the doctor at 3. He had a hearing test, then a new and efficient HV took over and referred him on to Speech Therapy, which took a while. By then, he had started to talk in sentences. They saw him a few times, then signed him off as normal for 4, at 3.9.

He has always had ADD/ASD type problems though and has no diagnosis.

Original poster

PuffyPigeon · 20/03/2014 23:14

I'm not scared of anything, I just don't find HVs to be particularly useful and instead rather patronising. For example, dd didn't take to solid food at all. At 13 months I took her to the HV and said she bfs 3x per day but refuses all food. She said because she wasn't underweight she must be eating something and to keepa food diary. I returned with said food diary detailing not a single bite taken in a fortnight for her to repeat 'well she isn't underweight so she must be eating something, I wouldn't worry'

OP posts:

summertimeandthelivingiseasy · 20/03/2014 23:17

My first health visitor was like that. Thank goodness she moved and I got the efficient one!

Forgettable · 20/03/2014 23:18

Do get a hearing test. GP can arrange. Assuming England, maybe erroneusly.

siblingrevelry · 20/03/2014 23:19

As someone else has said, it can take a long time for a referral if there turns out to be a problem (not saying there is).

My now 7 year old didn't talk but understood. I raised my concerns at his 2 year check (further fuelled by another child at the session saying "look Mommy, a puzzle" where mine merely pointed and said "mammas"-his word for Thomas!). Over time he had tests and was diagnosed with glue ear. At 3 & 1/2 had op to insert grommets which was like flicking a switch.

Your Daughter may not need any intervention, which would be the best possible outcome, but if you discovered in a year or two that something could/should have been done, would it not be hard to live with the decision (especially as we're not talking about anything intrusive or difficult)?

Iggi101 · 20/03/2014 23:20

My 22 month old doesn't talk. He babbles etc and has used recognisable words as one-offs, but doesn't seem bothered to repeat. Of course I read his mind and get him everything he wants, so maybe that's not helping! His brother was exactly the same, and he had the hearing test, bit of speech therapy, before bursting into speech and now could not be shut up.
Although I think it's important to not miss any problems, in some ways the interventions were unhelpful and stressful for us. (Reminds me of the fussing over exactly how many ozs he'd gained each week in the early days).

BumpyGrindy · 20/03/2014 23:21

I agree with Santana. I saw it first hand with my best friend who could not understand that her son's speech was well behind. She had to look into it when he hit three and went to nursery. Best dealt with sooner rather than later.

Forgettable · 20/03/2014 23:22

speech-language-therapy.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=35:admin&catid=2:uncategorised&Itemid=117

Have a look at Caroline Bowen's website. Lots of pages to read. V useful guides.

Jaynebxl · 20/03/2014 23:22

I would definitely get a hearing test done. You don't want to be negligent if it did then find out that there's a hearing problem and you did nothing about it.

Forgettable · 20/03/2014 23:23

Gah at link fail.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/03/2014 23:26

Please take her.

They don't ALL "get there in the end" and just speak one day like some say.

She may have an issue which needs help. If not..no harm done.

Original poster

PuffyPigeon · 20/03/2014 23:31

I very much doubt she has a hearing problem. She can hear me trying to sneak a biscuit out of the tin from the other side of the house! She hears and understands perfectly but makes no attempt at words.

OP posts:

Forgettable · 20/03/2014 23:33

Okay

We'll not bother you any further with our experiences or advice, if that's ok with you

Shrug

Original poster

PuffyPigeon · 20/03/2014 23:35

I just would've thought there'd be frustration/confusion if she had a hearing problem?

OP posts:

BumpyGrindy · 20/03/2014 23:38

It's best not to assume anything when it comes to your children's development Puffy...I'm not being mean but wouldn't you rather get it checked....then if there's no problem that's fine...if there IS then you can get treatment sooner and get better results.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 20/03/2014 23:38

Have you tried keeping a diary over a week or so and noting down every understandable word she says?

You may discover tat she knows and uses many more than you realise

BumpyGrindy · 20/03/2014 23:39

Sometimes a problem which looks like a speech problem is actually a processing issue...so while she can hear, she can't answer questions yet.

BumpyGrindy · 20/03/2014 23:40

Posted too soon!...While she can hear, she has issues with processing information...perhaps....you need to take her to see.

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