for not having taken non-talking almost 2 yr old to the HV?

[PuffyPigeon]

We don't have a two year check here. Dd is almost two and can't really say any words. The only words she has that everyone can understand is yes please and mama. She has 'words' for the dogs name, her siblings names and her dad but they're all pretty similar and sound little like they're supposed to. I give her lots of opportunities to speak, like asking would you like the red or blue cup and giving her time to respond but she doesn't. However, her comprehension is fantastic. I chatter to her all day long and she understands, agrees and disagrees in the right places and is never frustrated.

As it isn't causing a problem I wasn't planning to act, figuring one day she'll just pick it up and there'll be no stopping her but my friend thinks she's 'severely delayed' and I should get her checked out. Aibu?

My son pointed at 2 and has ASD...

He also smiles and has reasonable eye contact.

Autism is a spectrum after all

Like I say SALT won't take referrals under two here (not this kind of presentation) - they used to stick you on a long waiting list so the child had chance to catch up but I am told they just don't accept now but when they do it's very quick to be seen.

So it might not be a case of 'getting on a list'...

OP investigate what's in your local area - get an understanding if the referral pathways, their criteria and then set your a time to review it yourself and act... Call them and ask them what they think... 2 and half to my mind would be an excellent point to have HV, GP, SALT and portage going in alongside potentially going to nursery.
Things like summer birthday (as go to school earlier) or an area with a years wait for SALT might make me want to do it sooner.

Oh and OP - keep a diary

(Joke but serious do keep a record of who you spoke to and their advice)

What I have noticed (and experienced) is if you get referred as a 'just in case' or to be proactive to prevent problems with early intervention then they just stick you on a list until it's an urgent problem then expedite you

Lack of money to do real proactive work Nurseries and children's centres are the best for that and can be great support at getting you seen

We were sceptical about dd's hearing loss. Totally oblivious, in fact, until she failed a hearing test at school. How could she have hearing loss? She was the most talkative, interested, person on the planet (still is!), academically successful and well-behaved at school, with an excellent vocabulary.

It turned out that her hearing loss was almost exclusively in the decibel range of natural speech, which accounted for her always sitting at the front of the class and her intense concentration at school. It also accounted for her bizarre mispronunciation - which we had always thought cute and something she would grow out of.

I know younger children who had hearing tests for box-ticking reasons, and turned out to have fairly severe hearing loss. But they were proficient lip- and expression-readers, which had been masking the hearing-loss.

See the GP, get on the waiting list for assessment and intervention.

Autistic children can point - but not pointing before 18 months is the main screen for ASD. My severely autistic son points (often with the wrong finger) but he wasn't at 18 months. He did indicate planes flying overhead - but with a closed fist.

I agree with fanjo tbh that there can be other issues anyway. I referred ds2 at 2 because although I knew he wasn't autistic he was completely incomprehensible. He wasn't seen until 3, and was initially diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia. It was fixed so easily (using Nuffield & Kaufman) that I'm not convinced by the dx but anyhow something was up as his sounds were all over the place. He now makes a very nice living from his voice so no problems at all. Whether it would have sorted itself out or whether it needed the fixing that we did who knows. I don't regret it anyway - he enjoyed the sessions.

I would get her checked just for peace of mind if nothing else. A relative's DC1 was only found to have quite significant hearing loss aged 3 when DC2 was born and was found to be profoundly deaf. Suddenly the reason for the older DC's speech delay was obvious. An extreme example maybe but sometimes things are missed in the infant checks and it must be worth at least having a chat with the GP if only to rule out the more serious possibilities.

He also smiles and has reasonable eye contact "

Well my DD smiles.all the time and has eye contact.

Her autism is still on the severe end.

This not smiling thing is such a myth.

That's true fanjo. Severely autistic ds1 was 'the smiliest baby in the baby group' & my GP used to go on about how he was always smiling. Eye contact has always been one of his main methods of communication as well ironically. Eye contact can be a very useful communication tool when you can't speak - ds1 uses it well.

I would take her dd2 said a couple of words at two but she now attends a special school for children with autism . She hasn't caught up

Take her to GP not HV. I agree with you about HVs. They are often patronising and know very little. But I do think it is worth a check with GP, just in case it is something to be concerned about.

My friend is in a similar situation with her 2 year old non talking DS. They think he may have glue ear but not sure.

There is a good chance one day she will pick it up but if she doesn't you will regret not having done something earlier.

I didn't act with Ds as he was fine at home but when he started nursery he was incredibly frustrated and hit, kicked and punched his way through the first year. He now has a classroom assistant and is doing really well.

I would start the process now. Go to your health visitor who will refer you to speech and language and paediatrician. That takes 8 - 10 weeks to just get an assessment then another 6-8 weeks for therapy. Your Dd will be nearly nursery age before you actually get any help.

I am completely deaf in one ear - probably from birth. Wasn't picked-up until I was 5/6 (we are talking late 1970s).

I had not shown any signs of it at home. It emerged in a classroom setting when I couldn't understand how to do things. Turns out that I hadn't been hearing the teacher very well.

Just saying get it checked out. Probably nothing. But if it is something, best get it treated early.

For clarity my comment about eye contact and smiling is also used as a marker for autism, along with finger pointing....

Yet as this thread shows it's often nonsense...

Then again, Northernlurker, my dd was delayed walking- and by 8 she was in a wheelchair.

Lots of people told me not to worry, that they all walk in their own time, and that this was just dd being dd. With hindsight, her quality of life would have been a lot better if she had been diagnosed earlier.

As far as I can see, MN are not falling over themselves to diagnose anything

They are saying to the OP that this could mean X or it could mean Y or it could mean nothing at all, and that the only way to find out is to see an expert.

It's not as if going for a hearing test is likely to make the child deaf or seeing a paedicatrician will give them autism, is it? If everything's fine, then everything's fine.

I don't think you can say finger pointing is nonsense. The screen is that if a child is not protodeclarative pointing by 18 months they are at risk of developing an ASD. That's one of the main features of the CHAT which still remains one of the most accurate screens. No it's not diagnostic but it's a good screen. The key is by 18 months (although the CHAT does allow an extra month to retest before forwarding on for further testing). Of course children can develop skills later - but it highlights being out of the usual range.

Smiling & eye contact have never been screens in the eat protodeclarative pointing is. Although my son can use eye contact very well it's on his own terms so his eye contact is abnormal - but not none existent as if often assumed by b

Non specialists.

*way, not eat.

In our case we had one non talking 2 year old that was the precursor of very severe problems. And one non talking 2 year old who now has absolutely nothing wrong at all (& one talking 2 year old who does have some subtle hearing problems).

Anyhow in both the non talking 2 year olds SALT took a long time coming & was helpful when we got it (especially in the one who is now fine).

I sympathise about not wanting to see a rubbish HV or GP. I've had a few who wasted time and added to my already overwhelming workload. Intervention can be stressful for a family with no guarentees it actually does anything, so there is a downside to gettng things checked if it might lead to action that isn't useful.

Nevertheless, what you need is a good GP, otherwise you are going to go through the next x years avoiding medical intervention when it might be useful. So I suggest, rather than ignoring the issue, you use it as a way to find yourself a GP who seems responsive and clued up. Building a good raport with a GP could stnd you in good stead for the next decade or two, regardless of whether your DD needs intervention now.

OP some good advice here. Take her to your doctor and if you are still not happy ask for a referral.

Do you live abroad? I know several families where more than one language is spoken in the home. All the children were bright and intelligent but were later talkers. Once they had processed the different words they were fluent in both languages but it took a while. Just a thought.

Saintly what you said about situationAl understanding is fascinating dd2 has moderate autism and would need visual prompts to do whAt you describe my ds also has oral dyspraxia and salt really helped

I didn't talk at all..until I was 35 months (so basically 3!) Just grunted and pointed at things.

I then spoke in complete sentences which made sense.

Maybe your daughter is doing the same! Storing it all up to come out with it properly

I've had two late talkers. One has something more going on, one doesn't. I actually bitterly regret taking DD to the HV (my first non talker) because of the horrific maelstrom of 'SHE'S AUTISTIC' 'SHE'S DEFINITELY NOT AUTISTIC' 'SHE HAS ADHD' 'SHE DEFINITELY DOESN'T HAVE ADHD' etc etc etc etc we ended up in. Currently we're exploring brain damage from birth as an option. Which is nice, now I get to blame myself even more for not being able to push her out quickly enough.

I did not find speech therapy useful. About 50% of our speech therapists were lovely, about 50% of them were vile human beings without an ounce of sympathy. The educational psychologist was a total cunt.

Anyway, the big difference between my 'normal' non talker and my not 'normal' non talker is that the 'normal' one has very good receptive language and basically understands everything I say. He follows two part instructions. DD understood nothing I said. She couldn't follow simple instructions. She didn't point. She was late to hit every milestone. DS is still very frustrated by his lack of language, but I have every confidence he'll just pick it up. DD probably would have picked it up too to be honest, but it was useful to learn some techniques for encouraging language development.

If I were you, I would ask my GP to refer you for a hearing test, rule out hearing loss and/or glue ear, and take it from there.