for not having taken non-talking almost 2 yr old to the HV?

[PuffyPigeon]

We don't have a two year check here. Dd is almost two and can't really say any words. The only words she has that everyone can understand is yes please and mama. She has 'words' for the dogs name, her siblings names and her dad but they're all pretty similar and sound little like they're supposed to. I give her lots of opportunities to speak, like asking would you like the red or blue cup and giving her time to respond but she doesn't. However, her comprehension is fantastic. I chatter to her all day long and she understands, agrees and disagrees in the right places and is never frustrated.

As it isn't causing a problem I wasn't planning to act, figuring one day she'll just pick it up and there'll be no stopping her but my friend thinks she's 'severely delayed' and I should get her checked out. Aibu?

So she can hear, but can't/won't speak. Most two year olds have some speech bt then. Your Dd may miraculously catch up, some do. Your dd may not miraculously catch up, some don't. If you know your dd is going to be in the first group, great. If your dd is going to be in the second group, early intervention would probably be beneficial. Your health visitor can help you access that early intervention, but if you don't want to take it, that's fine. Personally I'm glad I took early intervention, it helped my dd.

Needsasock - are you a HV?? That's exactly what I predict she will say. She honestly has nothing other than yes please or mama. She doesn't attempt any words at all, just agrees or disagrees with me accordingly.

Does she wave hello or goodbye? Can she point to "the cat" or whatever in a book if you ask her?

Also...see the GP, not the HV.

It just puts me off that her response to 'she doesn't eat' was 'she must do.' Feel like her response to 'she doesn't speak' will be 'she must do, or she'd be frustrated'

So don't see the HV...see the doctor. It's much better if your HV is crap.

Also, does DD wave or point?

Yes bumpy she can point to loads of things and loves doing that. Yes she waves, can sort things into colour and size etc

Well that sounds promising....in your shoes I would see the doctor. You don't need to take DD with you....make an appointment and tell the GP about it all. They will refer your DD for a further check up by a speech and language specialist.

I may be overly sceptical but gp told me my then 4 yr old was completely typical when she was awake for 20 hours per day, 'just loving life.' She was finally diagnosed as autistic 18 months later

I took ds to the gp at that age for the same thing. Because ds was at the later stage of 'normal' he was referred to the pediatric consultant to check everything was ok, for a hearing test and for speech therapy (which he had to wait 8 months for). I found he has traits of autism, his hearing was good, and the speech therapist made a huge difference in improving his speech, which is now pretty good, although it took a while to get there. Its best not to make assumptions, its for the best interests of your child after all, isn't it.

Puffy are you afraid dd2 is also on the spectrum? Surely as a parent of a child with sn you know the importance of early intervention?

No not concerned about that at all, she's completely theoopposite to her sister

But you are concerned about her speech?

Please go to a health visitor or GP. Your youngest DD may be more advanced than her older sibling was at that age. That doesn't mean that your youngest shouldn't be denied help for her needs, although they aren't as severe.

We didn't with ds2. He had a handful of words by his second birthday whereas ds1 had been talking in convoluted sentences for a year or more by then. On the other hand, ds2 walked by 10 months and was much quicker to develop physical skills than ds1.

I was a bit concerned about the lack of speech, but he could follow complex instructions, point to things in books etc., and clearly understood what a conversation was, even if it was just babble.

I did speak to his keyworker at nursery (who also happens to be Senco) and she said in view of that he was 'probably' fine, but to keep an eye.

I can't really remember when it changed, was very gradual, but he's 4 now and you can't shut him up!

So... you fear there may be an issue with her speech. But you don't want to take her to the HV as she's useless (very probably true) and you don't want to take her to the GP as also useless.

What would you like to do with your concern?

To answer the OP, YANBU to avoid the HV. But YABU if this leads you to ignore a possible developmental issue. As many have said, maybe all is well, and if not, you know best that early intervention is important.

You could pay to go private and see a SALT at your own expense. But if, like most of us, that's out of budget, then you need to start with a GP.

I think in some areas you can self refer to SALT, so you could try that?

My first didn't speak at all until just over 3. I wasn't worried because their comprehension was excellent, so no hearing/processing issues.

Have a look at what the Communication and Language Development Matters statements say in the EYFS. Comes under speaking. I would be concerned about this level of speaking and would also suggest a hearing test.

In my area, even when you are referred to SALT the first thing they ask is if hearing has been checked and if not, you're sent away to get it checked before they do anything else.

I know this because I refer children in my job and because I went through the process with my DS.

Do you have a local children's centre? Ours has a drop in with a speech therapist every couple of weeks.

Christ alive no I'm not a HV, I just like to make sure I'm certain about things before getting concerned,spend most of my down time plodding around doing stuff so find making a effort to make notes focusing on stuff helpful

Oh and if you've done that,and you get fobbed off with "she must do" then it's easier to challenge when you have that info with you or have done it

Well, I guess if you don't want to see anyone YANBU, are you?

My HVs were brilliant, told me that at 2 years it's reasonable that they won't say a lot. Just two is VERY different from nearly three but still in the same year.

However they kept in contact every couple of months, my twins were referred to SALT and at five they attend a special SALT unit in school.

I couldn't have got there myself, and if I had no one to offer their professional perspective I would probably have just dismissed it.

I think YABU sorry. Have the two year check, and keep in contact. You might find in three months it's a whole different ballgame, but if it isn't, she can be put on the waiting list.

PS - the problem for my boys was not due to any hearing loss. They simply have speech delay.

She doesn't sound that delayed, maybe a bit.

It's unlikely that she's understanding as much as you think she is though.

Make sure you talk to her in short, clear sentences at the moment - that will make it easier for her to pick up the words and phrases.

My daughter had a 30% hearing loss in each ear, due to fluid behind her ear drum. We had no idea she was having trouble hearing, until her hearing test. Her speech was delayed, by the time she was two, she was saying fewer than ten words. There were no other signs she wasn't hearing properly.

Now she has had tubes in her ears and speech therapy twice a week, and she won't stop talking. She's 3.5.