To bf on the shop floor when there's a feeding room?

[TheFlumpFlan]

I think I was being the exact opposite of inconsiderate, friend thinks I was.

In short:

I was on a shopping trip from hell (4 kids wanting school bits) which was unproductive and I was heading back through the department store to the carpark when I saw they had a clarks shoe bit with a sale (empty). I plonked down, asked the assistant if she had ds1 and ds2 size shoes and started to feed whiney velcro baby in order to be heard rather than screamed over. I'm an experienced feeder (top up, other down) and can easily feed strolling around without flashing a nipple though I sat this time with my back to the main walkway. The assistant replied to my request with 'we have a feeding room', I smiled back and said I was fine and asked again for the shoes. She suggested I feed there and popped back, and gave directions, to which I said I knew it was two floors up, full of mothers who are trying to soothe tiny ones who don't need my lot staring at them/ being loud plus I was in a rush. She looked so grumpy getting bits out and affronted by me. I'm not particularly confrontational or particular about bf (I've ebf, mixed and ff equally loved children) but it got my back up a bit. I didn't flash her, was polite, as were the children (though I doubt they would have been stuffed into a small room with nowt to look at) and it was easier for all than listening to a screaming baby.

My sister, mum and friend all maintain it is unreasonable to publically feed unless you must, and stores provide a feeding room so people like me don't take up space feeding or put off others shopping. Yet even the dad on his own didn't look fussed when he came over (I think noone noticed). They say I may have put of business and it's just inconsiderate.

It's bloody difficult to buy children's shoes two floors up, away from the err, children's shoes!

It seems so much worse that it is some women moaning about this. I would be interested in what a man would be saying.

I was made to feel really uncomfortable by a Sainsbury's café manager when my PFB was 9 weeks old and was left shaking .

YANBU and it's against the law to try and make you go somewhere else to bf, so the assistant was clearly BU.

I bf all over the place and no-one raised any issues, so I don't think most normal people have a problem with it (or not enough of one to make a fuss about it). There's just no big deal to latching a baby on while you do something else. Particularly if you have several DC, it's just a part of the process of general living - and a brilliant way to shut up a noisy baby when you're trying to get something done for the other DC.

lol at tiktok
"Oh that's so kind. I'll leave them with you, would you bring me a black coffee while I relax and feed? There's a budget of £38 per pair and don't let them choose the ones with the toys in the soles. Cheers!"

Do you need an ego stroke or something? Good on you for bf'ing now just go away and do it

That's a pretty shitty thing to say. Why type that?

Blah - your right not to have to see a nipple for a nano second and or a babies right to eat. When you meet a baby who can understand some delicate little flowers can't cope with seeing a small body part and they have to wait to feed, let me know. You won't suffer at all from seeing a nipple, a baby will not be happy at being forced to wait to feed when he/she is hungry.

I think some people get the impression that feeding rooms were designed for their convenience not for the mother's.

One day this debate will be viewed with amusement and amazement.

I sincerely hope that when my DD is grown up she'll be astonished to learn that when she was a baby there were still some people around who thought that breast feeding was distasteful, something men and children (!? the irony) shouldn't be subjected to, and honestly thought it was ok to expect BFing mothers to respect that. And that they were militant and trouble making if they did not.

Some posts here honestly put me in mind of some of our older generations views on 'darkies', for eg. and of the disabled, or those with MH issues.

Re "it's their shop" it is actually. Shops can decide who they let in or not. The OP was buying shoes but she'd be on very thin ice if she'd just decided Clarks was the nearest and most convenient place.

As for the assistant telling the OP about the feeding room , I'd have assumed she was trying to be helpful.

fluffyraggies I really hope you're right!

Sorry meant "the nearest place with no intention of buying anything"
.

It may be their shop, but if they discriminate, ie if they refused to serve the OP, they would have broken the law.
Tutting and being grumpy is not against the law. Pretty stupid customer service though.

"Re "it's their shop" it is actually. Shops can decide who they let in or not."

Aaahhh (bangs head repeatedly on desk). No they can't. Not if it would be discriminatory to do so. A BNP shopkeeper cannot refuse to serve non-white customers. A homophobic B&B owner cannot refuse to let a room to a gay couple (that one, as I pointed out up thread, went all the way to the supreme court - the gay couple won). It is illegal to harass a woman for breast feeding.

Breastfeeding in public (In fact anywhere where mothers want to or feel comfortable to) needs to be encouraged and other peoples 'Feelings' should not be taken into account.

However there will be tut tutters and the odd ogler that's going to be par for the course isn't it?

Blahblah she was not taking up space feeding she was buying shoes and feeding. I believe they call it multitasking, in your case like thinking and breathing, more difficult than it looks no?

I personally think it should be illegal to breastfeed while holding up a bank with a sawn off shotgun.

I personally think it should be illegal to breastfeed while holding up a bank with a sawn off shotgun

I too hate people that do that.

Just who do they think they are?

I wonder how long it will take for it to become properly socially unacceptable to voice views like this? ''Shops can let in who they like'', for eg. about breast feeding.

Can you imagine, in a debate here about race discrimination, how many posters would really feeling comfortable posting ''well ..... shops can serve who they like .......''. Not many i recon.

They can't refuse a service. If OP wanted to buy shoes and feed they can't throw her out. If she had no intention of buying shoes they could ask her to leave.

If you can see a nipple when a mum is breastfeeding (or even latching or preparing to feed), you're definitely looking too hard.

Have some manners.

OP, YANBU. In fact I think you're a superhero for school shoe shopping with a small baby in tow. I salute you!

And shops can and do ban people. That is legal. It's got nothing to do with this subject but shops can in extreme cases get interdicts against known shoplifters.

But they can't ban people for reasons that come down to discrimination!
We know shops can ban individuals, and they are well within their rights to. What they can't do is ban "all the gays".

There's no law that says I must be discreet.

The fact that I am discreet is consideration enough for those who feel entitled to it.

And shops can and do ban people. That is legal.

Not if it is because the person possesses a protected characteristic as outlined in Equality Act 2010. In this case there are two protected characteristics: directly pregnancy/maternity and indirectly sex (since only women can breastfeed).

Feed your baby wherever and whenever you want.