To bf on the shop floor when there's a feeding room?

[TheFlumpFlan]

I think I was being the exact opposite of inconsiderate, friend thinks I was.

In short:

I was on a shopping trip from hell (4 kids wanting school bits) which was unproductive and I was heading back through the department store to the carpark when I saw they had a clarks shoe bit with a sale (empty). I plonked down, asked the assistant if she had ds1 and ds2 size shoes and started to feed whiney velcro baby in order to be heard rather than screamed over. I'm an experienced feeder (top up, other down) and can easily feed strolling around without flashing a nipple though I sat this time with my back to the main walkway. The assistant replied to my request with 'we have a feeding room', I smiled back and said I was fine and asked again for the shoes. She suggested I feed there and popped back, and gave directions, to which I said I knew it was two floors up, full of mothers who are trying to soothe tiny ones who don't need my lot staring at them/ being loud plus I was in a rush. She looked so grumpy getting bits out and affronted by me. I'm not particularly confrontational or particular about bf (I've ebf, mixed and ff equally loved children) but it got my back up a bit. I didn't flash her, was polite, as were the children (though I doubt they would have been stuffed into a small room with nowt to look at) and it was easier for all than listening to a screaming baby.

My sister, mum and friend all maintain it is unreasonable to publically feed unless you must, and stores provide a feeding room so people like me don't take up space feeding or put off others shopping. Yet even the dad on his own didn't look fussed when he came over (I think noone noticed). They say I may have put of business and it's just inconsiderate.

[Misspixietrix]

Thanks therealamandaclarke I can totally see where OP is coming from. no chance of me having another DC now but if I did. I would have done exactly the same as OP. Because I know that Dd would have moaned she was bored and Ds would have been having a right good nose and asking lots of questions to mums who would just want to be left alone. I don't like looking at girls with their racks out on newspapers yet The Sun forced it on me the other week when it was on their front page instead of page 3. I have no problem in women using their rack for what it was intended to be used for in the first place. The amount of prudishness around breastfeeding never ceases to amuse me.

[TheFlumpFlan]

I'm the OP, if anyones interested:

Personally I have no issue with not flashing as my boobs are nearly flat, how they make milk I don't know It doesn't give me more right to feed, but it made the reaction weirder. She saw a cuddle basically.

Sorry but I think breastfeeding covers are about as practical as burkas, in fact the ones I've seen draw quite a bit of attention to breastfeeding. Carrying another mound of fabric around is not my plan.

It was a clarks concession in a dept store.

I don't need a badge/ medal for bf some of my children as some feel I want. My motivation is mainly laziness and my own ease, not making a statement.

[Misspixietrix]

Sorry but I think breastfeeding covers are as practical as burkas . OP in 3 2 1... duck! [grins].

[FabBakerGirl]

I wish I had had MN when I had my PFB as I did feel uneasy when feeding my child when out. I was never sure if I was allowed after the supermarket manager told me I couldn't feed my newborn in the café. By the time I had baby 2 and baby 3 I learnt to latch them on without looking at anyone and how to cover as much as possible. I also cared less but it was a difficult time when I had PND and struggled generally.

[ShadowFall]

I've never actually seen anyone use a nursing cover in real life, so I've just googled them.

I can't comment on the practicality of them, but they certainly look very conspicuous in the pictures I've just seen.

[nicecupoftea2013]

Clarks are a business and customers want to try on shoes before they buy and some customers like to sit down. They may not be against breastfeeding, just that they would prefer it if you used an alternative room supplied.

Would people post on AIBU, if it was the other way round? "I couldnt try shoes on because some woman was breastfeeding when there were other places for her?"

[Gileswithachainsaw]

But she'd be sat there regardless as she was buying shoes

[TheScience]

Exactly - the OP didn't just wander into a random shop and decide to breastfeed in the middle of it, she was there as a customer buying shoes.

[SauvignonBlanche]

YWNBU at all OP.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

Did you even read the op nicecupoftea?

[fromparistoberlin73]

Sorry but I think breastfeeding covers are about as practical as burkas

with DS1 I flummoxed around, failing to learn how to BF and got myself into a huge picklE. basically I was so bloody unconfortable about BF (and so crap at it!) that I was housebound for far longer than I should have been. I am also quite busty which did not help.

with DS2 I decided that something needed to change, so I got myself a simple black bebe a lait cover

all I can say is it changed my life. I wear alot of black anyway and I was able to travel around my city, and the EU feeling so much more confident


cafes, planes, waiting rooms, Ryanair queues, hospital wards, playgroups, large family get togethers

people are so so scathing, but my cover gave me an amount of freedom and confidence that was worth 10000 x the 35 I spent on it, and my child was BF exclusively for far longer

so please get that for some people , they are really cool

[Purplepoodle]

Sorry haven't gone through the whole thread. I'm an experienced bf and have no problem feeding in public. I am aware that my bf could make other people uncomfortable so I wouldn't actively engage a shop assistant while bf but would have no problems sitting on a bench ect.

I used to get very uncomfortable around bf before I had children so I wouldn't force someone to interact with me while feeding.

[drivenfromdistraction]

I wouldn't force someone to interact with me while feeding.

That's very squeamish noble of you Purplepoodle, but not very practical for OP who is in a shop with a squealing baby and several older children. OP needs to get the kids shoes bought. The baby needs to be fed. I think a shoe shop is a particularly easy situation as you're sitting down anyway. Don't know about OP, but I find that I am sitting in a shoe shop for ages when I have to get shoes for all DC. Getting the baby fed while I do it is purely practical. And the shop assistant is generally looking at the kids feet, not my chest. No-one's forcing her/him to do anything remotely unpleasant.

[justasmallone]

Ofgs of course yanbu, actualky very considerate if you ask me. Sometimes its hard for people to understand if they havent been in that situation. (Mum if 4 here)

[tulipsaredelicious]

Haven't read this thread but can guess where it's gone.

YANBU
YANBU
YANBU

It's FEEDING A BABY.

Sorry for the caps but I can't believe we're still having this conversation.

As for feeding covers - they're unneccessary but if some people prefer to use them and their LO doesn't object then fine. It's no one's business.

Our culture is so fucked up WRT boobs, the only thing to do is keep calm and carry on.

Oh, did I say?

YANBU.

[Fusedog]

Confirms my view that a lot of this breast feeding this had become political


Why would you feed to the shop floor when a room has been provided

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Why should she fusedog?

The feeding room was two floors up from where she needed to be,she was trying to buy shoes.

If you think feeding a baby or buying shoes are political actions then you are part of the problem

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Have u ever seen a feeding room? They are usually off the toilets or changing area and stink. Wouldn't feed a rat in one of those.

And why should she drag her kids up two floors?

[TheScience]

Fusedog, did you not read the OP? She wanted to by shoes, not go to a different floor with several children to sit in a stinky room. How is that political?

[KatnipEvergreen]

YANBU. May as well plug in and go for it, buying shoes for more than one child often takes longer than a feed anyway! It shouldn't bother anyone.

[5madthings]

Bollocks was the op being political, she was buying shoes for her older children and whilst doing so her baby needed feeding so she fed the baby. Why should she trained up two floors with her other children in tow to go and feed the baby in what is likely to be a nappy changing room which they have stuck a chair in and then called it a feeding and changing room. Who wants to sit next to a stinking nappy bin to feed their baby.

[tiktok]

Please explain, Fusedog. She had four other children with her. She was buying shoes for them. What is political about seeking the most convenient way of multi-tasking?

It's ok to say 'oops, silly me, I didn't read that bit. My stupid prejudices about bf women meeting their babies' needs got in the way of me making a thought-through response.'

:)

[zoemaguire]

Why would a woman breastfeeding stop somebody else buying shoes nicecupoftea? She wasn't barricading the store room...

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

The other day I was with my littlest baby and her dad in Burger King I went to sit in the window because I'm fond of watching the world go by and he said " I know it's fashionable at the moment but is the window the best place to sit"

A lady overheard and much to my amusement said "it's not fashion it's just normal" then looked at me and smiled, I think she was a mumsnetter

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I worked in catering/pubs for many years. Only once have I ever had a complaint about someone feeding their baby.

These "offended" people really do seem to be in the major minority and not remotely worth worrying about.