To bf on the shop floor when there's a feeding room?

[TheFlumpFlan]

I think I was being the exact opposite of inconsiderate, friend thinks I was.

In short:

I was on a shopping trip from hell (4 kids wanting school bits) which was unproductive and I was heading back through the department store to the carpark when I saw they had a clarks shoe bit with a sale (empty). I plonked down, asked the assistant if she had ds1 and ds2 size shoes and started to feed whiney velcro baby in order to be heard rather than screamed over. I'm an experienced feeder (top up, other down) and can easily feed strolling around without flashing a nipple though I sat this time with my back to the main walkway. The assistant replied to my request with 'we have a feeding room', I smiled back and said I was fine and asked again for the shoes. She suggested I feed there and popped back, and gave directions, to which I said I knew it was two floors up, full of mothers who are trying to soothe tiny ones who don't need my lot staring at them/ being loud plus I was in a rush. She looked so grumpy getting bits out and affronted by me. I'm not particularly confrontational or particular about bf (I've ebf, mixed and ff equally loved children) but it got my back up a bit. I didn't flash her, was polite, as were the children (though I doubt they would have been stuffed into a small room with nowt to look at) and it was easier for all than listening to a screaming baby.

My sister, mum and friend all maintain it is unreasonable to publically feed unless you must, and stores provide a feeding room so people like me don't take up space feeding or put off others shopping. Yet even the dad on his own didn't look fussed when he came over (I think noone noticed). They say I may have put of business and it's just inconsiderate.

I've never seen anyone being asked to leave a shop because their toddler is eating a rice cake.

Who wants to see someones nipple when they are trying to buy a pair of shoes?

I think in this case it is perfectly valid. Because you're not doing what you WANT you're doing what your baby NEEDS.
If I wander around without my top on and someone is offended I'd consider covering up, sure. But if that top is pulled up to feed my child then, sorry, but their hurt feelings (at lack of milk) overcome a grown adult with a fit of the vapors.

There are signs on the doors of most retailers clearly stating this

I honestly can't say I'd care. I wouldn't seek out Clark's-with-the-nipples, neither would I particularly avoid one where I might accidentally glimpse another part of the human body.

Aren't u looking at shoes when your shoe shopping? If there's that lousy a selection that a woman's nipple stands out so badly I'd try a different store

YANBU! Why on earth shouldn't you feed your baby wherever you want! I would be writing a letter of complaint, they had no right to do that

Oh those wretched indiscreet breastfeeders.
Please refer to k8middleton's list.

Blah: "But i guess like many things once covered by law you get the "i can do what i want where i want" brigade who want to showcase their rights"

Yes, well done blah, I think you're finally getting it. This is indeed precisely the point of the law. A woman with a hungry baby can feed her baby where she wants and is not forced to hide in a toilet cubicle. You don't have to watch. (Unless of course you're part of the "I'll look where I want" professionally offended brigade).

I'd love to see nipples in shops if they were attached to breastfeeding mothers. We need more public breastfeeding to challenge people's ridiculous attitudes. Hooray for boobies!

Seriously, if you are worried about seeing nipples then just don't look at people's breasts?

This is harder in the summer as lots of men are very indiscreet.

blablabla great name btw
I can only imagine you are being obtuse and enjoy trying to get a rise out of ppl. A bit like Katie Hopkins might for example.
Every point you have made on this matter sounds like the opinion of an ignorant misogynist.

And narrow minded attitudes are the precursor for the so called "lactivists" type movement.
I feel like taking my 13 mo bf baby to buy shoes now.
See?

Here, for anyone worried about seeing someone breastfeeding. You need one of these.

I feel sorry for blah because it sounds like her and her family have a real problem with having to see breasts. It must be very restrictive. Summer holidays to the continent would be out- might be exposed to breasts at beaches. In fact, I've seen nipples in shower gel adverts on tv and pharmacy windows in Paris so I think they must have to avoid France full stop. Plus the newsagents here would be a minefield- all those men's mags. People sometimes read The Sun on public transport so that could be risky. And now not even a shoe shop is safe!

For those people may I suggest the following if breastfeeding offends:

1. Looking away.
2. Fucking off somewhere else.
3. Covering up... your own head with a paper bag.

I really do not understand why people get so frothy about breastfeeding in public. It's just feeding a child, seriously what is the problem? Why are people so uncomfortable with it? I can kind of understand not wanting to feed in front of certain men you know (I never wanted to feed in front of fil or my friends DHs). But if its just strangers in the shops why would anyone give a crap?

And I am about as far from the 'breastapo' as you can get - hated breastfeeding and ff from fairly early on both times...

"Basically Amanda we are meant to hide away out of sight for the what, 3-6 months

Thats just bullshit!!!!

there is a huge difference between feeding in a park/cafe/bench to feeding inside a commercial establishment

Yanbu. If you can bottle feed a baby while buying shoes then why the hell can't you breast feed a baby while buying shoes?

Are you sure she was grumpy about the bf though Might she just have thought you looked uncomfortable and was a little put out that you dismissed her suggestion. More that she was being bossy rather than she was disapproving of you BF???

It's there shop and it's up to them what they find acceptable

Hahaha! It's actually not.

I'd love to know why everyone else needs to be shown consideration. Consideration for what, exactly?

"there is a huge difference between feeding in a park/cafe/bench to feeding inside a commercial establishment"

Not in law, there isn't. After all, there was a case recently (went all the way to the supreme court IIRC) where a couple running a B&B were successfully prosecuted for refusing a double room to a gay couple. You cannot legally say "my personal preferences and prejudices as proprietor/employee outweigh the law of the land, take your custom elsewhere."

Did the assistant seriously expect you to troop along to the 'feeding room' with four other children? Or would she have babysat while you left them there in the shop?

The feeding rooms are for women who would find it easier or more comfortable or convenient to feed in....they're not there for any other reason, are they?

Why is staying with one's other kids and continuing to select shoes while the baby is feeding 'showcasing your rights'? (blah's term)?

There are plenty of things in life that could offend other people. I have a relative in her 90s who was very uncomfortable being tended to by a black nurse when she was in hospital recently. She knew she couldn't say anything about it, so she kept quiet, apart from mumbling and moaning to me. I think she also recognised she was being unreasonable. I certainly told her so! Perhaps blah might think her discomfort should have been pandered to, and another nurse made to look after her instead?

This post is trying to be provocotive... I do not believe that you would not be allowed to bf where ever you want and perhaps the shop assistant was telling you about the room in case you wabted to go there. Do you need an ego stroke or something? Good on you for bf'ing now just go away and do it (wherever you please).

well she was allowed brown. Ultimately the assistant served her. Which is why I pointed out further down/up thread that the assistant hadn't actually done anything wrong as such, just rude and very poor customer service.