To be more than annoyed when people inform me my children need a good smack?

[Slightlyneuroricnat]

It really winds me up.
Not so much the oldies who say " in our day I would have a got a whack for that " but people that can see I'm already having a tough time dealing with 2 toddlers, my eldest daughter is going through a phase ( I bloody hope ) of hitting everyone including me and we always have the same conversation, I don't hit you and you must not hit mummy, you've hurt me and now we are going home.
So we had this yesterday in a park and a lady informed me that I was " wishy washy " and what she actually needed was a good smack herself.
Am I being unreasonable to think she is an ignorant fool or am I some kind of martyr as I don't believe in hitting children?

Maybe a smack on the head would work though

they have obviously conducted rigorous scientific experiments to find just the right hit/hurt ratio to ensure compliance but not attract the attention of any pesky police or social workers.

Good for you new crack on :)

Let people go back to faffing with a pat on the head and you parent how you want.

I think this is the crux of the matter. So many pro-smackers imply that theirs is the only way to parent effectively that I think they are simply unable to come up with any alternatives.

I don't think it will be too long before it becomes illegal.

Actually, I think some smackers are good parents, which makes their strange inistence on the need or effectiveness of smacking (and their lack of squeamishness about actually laying their hands on their children's bodies) just strange and illogical

Insistence

I was brought up in the 70s when smacking was the norm. I disagree with it although it hasn't ruined the relationship I had with my parents as they look at the way I parent mine (never been smacked) and can't believe they did it to us.

There is never a reason to hit a member of your family. Although I despair of wishy washy half-hearted shouting eg "Ben, it's very naughty to hit so we don't do it." If it's said in a quiet simpering voice it will have no effect whatsoever and you may as well not bother. If you say it like you damn well mean it and your child gets upset when you shout at them them in my opinion the message has got through WITHOUT the need for physical violence.

I live outside the UK in acountry where the majority smack their kids. I am definitely in the minority as a non smacker. the kids that get smacked seem more highly strung, more hyper and more aggressive. Poor loves. I do wonder how seemingly intelligent people can think it is ok to hit someone smaller and far more vulnerable than themselves. Even if it works, it works because they are frightened of you and it destroys self esteem. I think it is hard to trust someone who can hit us whenever they feel like it.
Try to ignore the people who say smacking is ok. I can never get my head around this way of thinking. They just seem daft in the head to me. Taking her home when she is smacking is a very good way to handle it.

Oh no its anti smackers who make the most noise.. parent how you want I really couldn't give a toss.

I'll watch bemused at the pleading to behave.. makes no odds to me.

Crack on :)

Grinch: do your children hit their own children? Would be interesting to know.

I think some smackers are good parents

I'm sure some are in that they can use other strategies too. It's the ones who think it's the only way to parent effectively who are clearly struggling to think of alternatives.

I wonder how they think early years practitioners cope with all those children when we're not allowed to raise our hands to them.

Whereas anti-smackers DO give a toss that other people's small children are having violence inflicted on them by their much larger adult. So we WILL be vocal about it, thanks.

That was to gamer chick

It is possible to try something other than hitting or wimpy lentil knitting pleading to use 'gentle hands' you know. There aren't simply two types of parents - the hitters and the faffers.

You can use a mixture of lots of different techniques, depending on whether a child is hungry, tired, or being a wilful pain in the arse.

Oh yes .. like I said Crack on

"You can use a mixture of lots of different techniques, depending on whether a child is hungry, tired, or being a wilful pain in the arse." Absolutely. It is how a good teacher controls a class of 16 year olds without the threat of corporal punishment. Versus wishy washy ineffective teachers who have no control Of the class. I'm sure all of those in the latter group might claim that if they were able to use corporal punishment they would have perfect control. The point is, it is perfectly possible to be both a good teacher or a good parent without the threat of physical violent . It is sometimes harder to do it that way, demands greater skill and patience, but it is the better way.

Why do so many smackers on here think non-smackers must be feeble and wishy washy? I'm firm, to the point and always follow through immediately. I have a happy, confident, mainly well-behaved toddler who I'm complimented on daily and who is invited to everything despite me being antisocial so clearly not faffing!

I appreciate it is partly luck, but also consistency and positive parenting.

For someone who just sooooo doesn't care gamerchick, you do seem to feel the need to repeat it rather a lot.

Yep you're right 'nods'

You seem very invested for someone who just doesn't care.

I am stuck on a train, what's your excuse for wasting your wild Friday might on some boring nonsense you don't even care about?

God gamerchick, I think I love you. I know, I know but it's actually the first I've ever posted on. I'm quit enjoying having our leading lights in child development tell me I'm a violent, disturbed individual and an unfit parent maybe it's because I was abused.

newt why do you keep banging on about necessity and the need to smack, when I have said several times that I do not think it's a necessity and nor do I feel an absolute need to it.

For the billionth time, I use it as one of a range of techniques. I don't think it's necessary but I also don't think it does any harm and is quite effective. I wouldn't say it is the most effective, best and only way to bring up all and every child because only gold knows that.

Actually Spero, you don't differentiate between the hitters, you just seem to have levels and subgroups for the faffers.

Ladyviking, my children don't fear me, neither did I my mother.

It is not a one size fits all kind off thing.

Why do so many anti-smackers think that the children of pro-smackers are uncontrollable, violent bullies?

only gold knows that

Oh yes. I know everything about everything, me

Oh I thought she meant God!!!

If it's not a necessity try not doing it. Just in case.