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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has anyone ever called you fat to your face?

80 replies

EmilyMortimer · 20/03/2014 11:03

Long, sorry

Background is I was anorexic for years (maybe self-indulgent manipulation or whatever but I was & it never goes away - maybe like always being a recovering alcoholic).

Have been very lucky to have twins in later life but still have massive abdominal split Sad

In a car park I'd never been before yesterday I came across this very angry woman. Unbeknownst to me I had parked across 2 spaces. There was no marking - she obviously knew the cArpark well.

After she knocked really hard on my window & was shouting away I got out because I was frantic (my only break in a very long day) she'd wake up DT's. I didn't even know what the matter with her was but because she was quite elderly & it wasn't down town LA So I got out. As I say she was really yelling. I said "I'm really sorry but I had no idea I was parki g where I shouldn't (really meek & submissive).
She stomps off saying "we'll anyway you're a fat woman so it's just what I'd expect"

I went after her & said excuse me I'm not fat but I have an abdominal split (wish I hadn't given her the satisfaction) her rey "yes you are, you're a fat woman " me "do you have any idea how much you've hurt me with that comment?" Her "I really don't care. You are FAT".

It sounds pathetic written down but I feel really depressed - I was half asleep in the car @ it all happened so quickly - I felt really shocked

I wish I could get it out of my head

For the record I'm size 12 but have no waist

I just can't get over how angry & nasty she was. She was spitting the words out as if she hated me.

OP posts:
Fullpleatherjacket · 20/03/2014 11:05

I'm sorry you had your day ruined by such nastiness.

Please try to put it out of your mind. She sounds insane.

Original poster
EmilyMortimer · 20/03/2014 11:06

Will be driving in a minute so apologies if it's a while before I come back.

OP posts:
EverythingsDozy · 20/03/2014 11:06

What a fucking bitch!! Ignore her! It isn't worth getting upset over. She's probably had a bad day and is, unfairly, taking it out on you. I wouldn't waste another minute.
What does being fat have to do with parking over two spaces anyway? I say that as a fat woman!!

Original poster
EmilyMortimer · 20/03/2014 11:07

Thanks full. I just can't. I know it's pathetic Sad

OP posts:
VenusDeWillendorf · 20/03/2014 11:07

She sounds insane, and nasty to boot.

You sound lovely, and self aware, and I wish all the very best for you.

brokenhearted55a · 20/03/2014 11:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Joolsy · 20/03/2014 11:09

How pathetic. Very sad that she can't think of a more witty insult! I'm what I would call slim, but I've been called skinny many times by (jealous?) "friends".

Atbeckandcall · 20/03/2014 11:10

What a fucking horrible vile bitch. I hope she picks on the wrong person and they give her a well deserved back hander.

I actually am fat (size 22). I've had the odd comment and my retort is simple, I can shift my extra timber if I so choose, you on the other hand will be eternally revolting to look at no matter how skinny/fat/well dressed etc you are. Now kindly do me a favour and toddle off before my eyes start to bleed.

WineThanksWineThanksWine Thanks

JustAboutAdeqeuate · 20/03/2014 11:12

She's a bitch, with issues. Ignore.

Lots of people have called me fat, but I'm a police officer and they've tended to be a bit upset because I'm stopping them beating the shit out of someone/smashing stuff up/smoking crack in someone's doorway. 'Fat ugly bitch' is a fairly common insult from the thinking-impaired, along with 'frigid lesbian', 'I'll smash your fucking face in', and 'I hope you/your family die of cancer/AIDS.' All upsetting the first time(s) but, like your Angry Carpark Woman, its just dickheads slinging around whatever abuse they think might upset you, completely regardless of the facts. Eventually I learned to let it wash over me. Hope you are able to do the same Flowers

stilllearnin · 20/03/2014 11:15

Her life must be a constant nightmare with all that rage- can you imagine what it's like in her head? This is all about her and nothing at all to do with you. I hope someone cones along soon with some advice about how you can let go of this. Please please don't let this get to you. If you've recovered from anorexia you have some strength - draw on it if you can.

NoNoNoNoNoYabu · 20/03/2014 11:18

I'm really proud you chased her down and told her you were hurt. It obviously made no difference to her but you will not spend your time wishing you had a voice.

she clearly has very serious issues and I will ask the universe to give her worms so she will have a hideously itchy anus to accompany them.

wonderingsoul · 20/03/2014 11:23

plenty of times. and i know its so much harder then just letting it go.. its so easy to say but hard to do.

remeber how much of a bitch she was, theres no excuse for it. bad day or not. she has a very ugly soul, and you can be thankfull that you ar en ot like that at all. pity her if anything.

hope you have a nicer day today Flowers

Ginnytonic82 · 20/03/2014 11:25

Horrible woman! That's so disgusting! Good on you for confronting her. Similar to NoNo I shall hope she steps on a plug today for being so rotten.

akachan · 20/03/2014 11:26

Yes, a few times. Fairly recently a man called me a fat cunt just completely out of the blue in a shop. I am quite fat but it always really hurts. Some people are just really nasty and I know it's a bit trite but they aren't happy themselves.

minouminou · 20/03/2014 11:32

Eesh.

She's not v well.
Your diastasis will get sorted one way or another.

Mad car park woman will carry on being a massive knobber.

uselessidiot · 20/03/2014 11:35

What a bitch!

In answer to your other question I've regularly been called fat and or ugly to my face. These days I try and avoid making eye contact to avoid such comments.

Gen35 · 20/03/2014 11:37

What a horrid woman, she doesn't hate you, she hates everyone. rest assured, people like that are unhappy and get their just desserts. You're not remotely fat and even if you were it wouldn't mean she was anything other than a loon. Hugs.

Dawndonnaagain · 20/03/2014 11:37

I too have been anorexic, and yes it hurts and can trigger. (I am fat at the moment). Good for you for chasing her down and calling her on it. My standard reply, because yes, people do feel they have a right to comment and I refuse to explain medication to them, is: yes dear, but I can do something about it, unlike you'. Generally shuts them up!

Gen35 · 20/03/2014 11:39

Also you can try, really, my dh/so/mum etc is always telling me how great I look, and then wonder off looking like the person was speaking Martian to you.

CombineBananaFister · 20/03/2014 11:39

She probably called you fat (even though you clearly aren't) as it seems to be the worst insult you can give somebody these days in our image-obsessed society and she wanted to be mean.
Spiteful, selfish, rude, arrogant, basically all the horrible things you could call someone don't seem to be as hurtful as calling someone fat so she's used it do do the most damage - horrible cow.
It never ceases to amaze me that being fat is considered far worse than these other characteristics when it's basically just a shape of someone not how nasty they are Sad
Sorry you had to deal with it

Original poster
EmilyMortimer · 20/03/2014 11:46

Thankyou everyone, especially Venus and still earning. (On phone, sorry bout typos).

Am truly shocked at what Justin has to listen to.
It's true that the word has such power & I hate myself for being shallow enough to care.

OP posts:
frumpet · 20/03/2014 11:47

Been called fat loads and loads and loads of times , many when i really wasn't fat . But as a fat adult i am used to it , yes occasionally it gets under your skin , nowhere near as bad as it did when boys did it when i was in my teens though . I actually dont mind being called fat most of the time , because at least it is factually descriptive . Absolutely hate being called stupid etc though .

In your case OP , you are very clearly not fat and the other woman is clearly a very unhappy and possibly unhinged individual with a sadly lacking vocabulary and not an ounce of imagination to boot .

sparechange · 20/03/2014 11:49

My friend got called a fat bitch on the bus, and replied "I'm only fat because every time I fuck your husband, he gives me a biscuit"
Totally childish, but the woman who insulted her was totally stunned and speechless, and everyone else giggled

frumpet · 20/03/2014 11:50

sparechange thats priceless Grin

cardamomginger · 20/03/2014 11:53

A nurse called me fat once. I am 5 ft 7 and was a size 12 at the time. No idea what that was about.

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