Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has anyone ever called you fat to your face?

80 replies

EmilyMortimer · 20/03/2014 11:03

Long, sorry

Background is I was anorexic for years (maybe self-indulgent manipulation or whatever but I was & it never goes away - maybe like always being a recovering alcoholic).

Have been very lucky to have twins in later life but still have massive abdominal split Sad

In a car park I'd never been before yesterday I came across this very angry woman. Unbeknownst to me I had parked across 2 spaces. There was no marking - she obviously knew the cArpark well.

After she knocked really hard on my window & was shouting away I got out because I was frantic (my only break in a very long day) she'd wake up DT's. I didn't even know what the matter with her was but because she was quite elderly & it wasn't down town LA So I got out. As I say she was really yelling. I said "I'm really sorry but I had no idea I was parki g where I shouldn't (really meek & submissive).
She stomps off saying "we'll anyway you're a fat woman so it's just what I'd expect"

I went after her & said excuse me I'm not fat but I have an abdominal split (wish I hadn't given her the satisfaction) her rey "yes you are, you're a fat woman " me "do you have any idea how much you've hurt me with that comment?" Her "I really don't care. You are FAT".

It sounds pathetic written down but I feel really depressed - I was half asleep in the car @ it all happened so quickly - I felt really shocked

I wish I could get it out of my head

For the record I'm size 12 but have no waist

I just can't get over how angry & nasty she was. She was spitting the words out as if she hated me.

OP posts:
KatnipEvergreen · 20/03/2014 11:55

Not since school, and I wasn't then anyway.

My dad remarked once when I was overweight and unfit when DD2 was a toddler that I was "Not as slim as I used to be" - Yes I knew that, thanks, dad!

Sorry to hear about your experience, OP, people can be so angry and nasty. I was called a "Fucking stupid cow!" by a red-faced man through the open window of my car when I had DD1 in the infant seat at the back. I think my crime on that occasion was misjudging a queue of traffic so he had to wait 20 seconds to come out of a side street. Yes, I know that's annoying (happens to me in reverse all the time) but he wasn't going to go anywhere fast in a queue of traffic if he got out in front of me, and in any event a minor driving error doesn't give you licence to be abusive!

pointythings · 20/03/2014 11:55

I have been. By a bloke considerably fatter than me. I burst out laughing and pointed at his gut.

icanmakeyouicecream · 20/03/2014 11:57

She can't be very well with all that anger directed at strangers. Pity her OP x

Blithereens · 20/03/2014 11:59

My BIL once, at a party where I only knew him and DH (we weren't married then and hadn't been together long) stuck his head out of the window to call me and DH in. There was someone else there with my name, so he yelled, "DH and the fat Blithereens, we're going now!"

:|

There was an audible gasp from everyone else there. We did not get on at all at the time (obviously, because he was a huge wanker) and DH was too wibbly to do anything about it (he has since grown a backbone). BIL didn't apologise for years. Eventually he grew out of being terrible and gave me several sincere apologies. Still narks me when I think about it, though!

I am sorry you had such a horrible experience! Well done you for sticking up for yourself.

TheBody · 20/03/2014 12:02

Jesus Christ there are some massively nasty bastards out there.

op she's a stupid bitch. Flowers

upthedamnwotsit · 20/03/2014 12:03

What a hateful woman. Look at it this way: she was obviously looking for any reason to have a go at someone, and using the words that would hurt the most. Anyone could have the victim of that bile- wouldn't have mattered who or what it was provoking her, a similar stream of shit would have probably come out of her mouth regardless.

Whoever talks to complete strangers the way she did must have a lot of anger and hate poisoning them. I'm sure you're a hell of a lot nicer and happier in life, please don't let someone like her drag you down and make you worry about how you look.

Oh, and I've been called fat even at a size 8 (long ago). It's a go-to insult, especially for women. People pick the words that hit hardest, and 'fat' is a general one that they can throw at anyone and feel reasonably sure it'll do some damage and play on the mind.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/03/2014 12:04

She was just trying to find an insult that would wound. You don't sound fat.

She sounds like a mahoosive cow though.

shivari · 20/03/2014 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/03/2014 12:06

Also if even if you were fat..so what.

At least you're not poisonous and aggressive to strangers.

shivari · 20/03/2014 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImaLooney · 20/03/2014 12:11

Oh wow that's awful! Can't believe people would speak to others in that way, you are in no way unreasonable to be upset, in my head I would like to think I would have given her a right go at but I wouldn't as I'm not like that, I too like you would have been really upset and probably pondered on it all day. You know what? Don't waste your time worrying about what a small minded stupid woman thinks as she sounds like she is pure nasty. What a bitch!!

weirdthing · 20/03/2014 12:13

I've been called fat billions of times (nb I am actually fat) however I used to work with the thinnedt woman ever and she was called a fat bitch once by someone who was angry with her. I think fat is ust bandied around as an insulting term to be honest, rather than an accurate description. The most annoying time I've ever been called a 'fat bitch' was by my neighbour who is about a size 22 (and all her family are v fat) when I was a size 16 and had a 3 week old baby. The injutice of that annoyed me more than anything :)
By the way, that woman was just mental so try to push it out of your head. In fact, pity her. How awful to be such an unpleasant individual.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/03/2014 12:14

Shivari. Oh I hope you told him he should do some ahutting up so he didn't sound like an arsehole.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 20/03/2014 12:15

Nasty nasty woman :(

I've been called a fat slapper, fat piece of shit, fat cunt, you name it. The only thing I was doing at all of these times was walking calmly down the road minding my own business. Yes I'm a size 20 but I walk normally, I don't need the wall of my house taken off or resuscitation to walk down the road, therefore I assume that my walking past isn't of any great entertainment to the average passer by. And yet seeing me out has been known to enrage thick people Hmm.

I know it's impossible to forget these comments, they certainly go round and round in my head, but it's absolutely her with the problem and I'd pity her Flowers

MummyPigsFatTummy · 20/03/2014 12:15

Not since I was at school and a teacher said to me whilst telling me off for talking: "I would throw you out the window but you are so fat you would bounce right back up again".

I still remember it so it definitely hit home.

The woman who accosted you in the car park is clearly a demented loon and should be ignored and, in fact, pitied for how miserable she must be with all that fury stored up inside her..

AutumnStar · 20/03/2014 12:17

Awful woman. Honestly OP, she's not worth your upset or head space. Be kind to yourself Thanks

AlpacaPicnic · 20/03/2014 12:20

I have. Loads of times. I am fat though. But its nothing to do with your size - its everything to do with attacking you for no reason.
She is a poisonous hag. I wish I could come and give you a big hug. (us fat girls give great hugs because we are all soft and squidgey!)

If its not rude to ask, what is a abdominal split? It sounds awful and I'm too scared to google in case I'm right!

squoosh · 20/03/2014 12:21

Yes, once.

I was walking down the street one night with a friend of mine and a drunk yelled 'watch out, here come the big girls'. His dimwit friend giggled at his sparkling wit.

I do have a bit of a hot temper so just bellowed after him 'come back here and say that you cunt'. Classy I know but I was just so furious. He looked shocked and just sped off.

Germgirl · 20/03/2014 12:22

What an awful woman. Like so many posters have said, please try to ignore her. She's clearly not quite right in the head.
As for your question. Yes, I get called fat a lot. I am fat. Very fat. (Size 28-30) and I get a lot of abuse. Stares, comments, random abuse.
Most days I ignore it, but I also cry about it a lot when I'm on my own. A couple of weeks ago I was standing at a bus stop when a man drove past in a van. He drove back the other way a few minutes later, slowed down, wound down his window & shouted 'fat cunt' at the top of his voice & then drove off cackling.
That one upset me quite a lot
Some people can be absolutely awful at times.

BecauseIsaidS0 · 20/03/2014 12:22

I had a boyfriend whose mother hated me because I had taken her beloved boy away from her. She once told me that she struggled to keep weight on "unlike you, dear, you are kind of chubby aren't you?". I was a size 8.

Germgirl · 20/03/2014 12:23

Oh and sparechange, please thank your friend for me. I'm nicking that one! Smile

BecauseIsaidS0 · 20/03/2014 12:23

Germgirl, here is a hug. People can be so horrible.

Germgirl · 20/03/2014 12:24

Thank you Because Smile xx

Blueblackdye · 20/03/2014 12:26

A customs officer looked at my picture on the passport and went : "waouh, you have lost a lot of weight !" Was too gobsmacked to reply, very early morning in JFK. My weeight has never been a problem, I m a size 6/8 and 1m60. Really honestly I m not thin nor chubby.
Ignore, ignore, ignore

Sparklysilversequins · 20/03/2014 12:28

Yes ex boyfriends and my Mum told me I couldn't go on holiday with friends if I didn't lose weight first Shock. I was around 10 stone, aged 17 and it was probably to do with the massive portions we were served up by her for dinner every night!