Has anyone ever called you fat to your face?

[EmilyMortimer]

Long, sorry

Background is I was anorexic for years (maybe self-indulgent manipulation or whatever but I was & it never goes away - maybe like always being a recovering alcoholic).

Have been very lucky to have twins in later life but still have massive abdominal split

In a car park I'd never been before yesterday I came across this very angry woman. Unbeknownst to me I had parked across 2 spaces. There was no marking - she obviously knew the cArpark well.

After she knocked really hard on my window & was shouting away I got out because I was frantic (my only break in a very long day) she'd wake up DT's. I didn't even know what the matter with her was but because she was quite elderly & it wasn't down town LA So I got out. As I say she was really yelling. I said "I'm really sorry but I had no idea I was parki g where I shouldn't (really meek & submissive).
She stomps off saying "we'll anyway you're a fat woman so it's just what I'd expect"

I went after her & said excuse me I'm not fat but I have an abdominal split (wish I hadn't given her the satisfaction) her rey "yes you are, you're a fat woman " me "do you have any idea how much you've hurt me with that comment?" Her "I really don't care. You are FAT".

It sounds pathetic written down but I feel really depressed - I was half asleep in the car @ it all happened so quickly - I felt really shocked

I wish I could get it out of my head

For the record I'm size 12 but have no waist

I just can't get over how angry & nasty she was. She was spitting the words out as if she hated me.

I was called a fat bitch by a woman once...I was a size ten at the time...

She's a loony and picked a word pretty much at random to insult you with, it could have been lots of different things. She only continued because she could see it had upset you.

A couple of years ago I was innocently asked when my baby was due by a sweet elderly lady. My son was born twenty five years ago. Embarrassing.

Love the biscuit come back!

Man called me a fat cunt in Tesco when he stopped dead in front of me without warning and I ran my trolley into his back. I was shaking in fear when he had finished screaming at me.
Does that count?

A woman i worked beside had been commenting on my weight to other colleagues, I had lost quite a bit of weight and she had "noticed" that i was eating the odd biscuit and would be fat again in no time.
My friend told me this and in a fit of rage i asked to see her in the toilets where there was a large mirror.
I was standing in front of the mirror and asked her to stand beside me, when she did (with a confused look on her face) i said, now you see, it doesn't matter how much weight i put on i will never be ugly like you.
Looking back i can't believe i done it, but she bitched about everyone and think i'd just had enough!

When someone has anger issues they'll shout out anything to hurt you

Emily I am so sorry that that happened to you. Truly I am. So sorry.

What a horrible, remorseless shell of a human being.

I actually have a better example, though it's not mine. My friend was being introduced to her boyfriend's 80ish year old grandmother for the first time. Grandmother looks her up and down, says 'you're very fat', turns to her grandson and says 'can you not get a nice slim girlfriend?'
True story

Yes. My sister often called me fat when we were younger. I was not fat at all-in fact I was very slim but my sister is very skinny so I always looked bigger than her.

My best friend has the same name as me and once at a disco a boy-whom I liked-called me the fat Latraviata. Was gutted.

Nowadays I am a bit fat-size 16 but don't let it bother me. I got into an argument with two men on public transport as they were very rude when my friend asked them to move their bags. I pointed out their rudeness and was called an "ugly,fat boot"-I just laughed and told them to fuck off as it was pathetic.

I was injured in a road accident many years ago (not my fault). I can still remember the embarrassment and shame I felt when I overheard one of the ambulance women remark, "my, this one likes her Christmas pudding" when they lifted me onto the stretcher

I was in my twenties at the time and must have weighed a lot less (size 10/12) than I do now (size 14/16).

OP please don't let her comments trouble you any more as she doesn't deserve her nasty words to be taken to heart. Sorry to hear the stories from others too, there are some really horrible people out there.

oh and to add insult to injury, I bloody well hated Christmas pudding

What a bitch.

My dad used to call me fat and pathetic all the time as a teenager, amongst other misadventures in parenting, and I don't have much respect for him now as an adult.

My ex h called me a fat bitch/cunt many times. I am not slim, I fluctuate between sizes 16-18. When he had calmed down he would always say he didn't mean it and he loved me as I was etc. I always think about that side of him when I get upset about being single, I would rather be alone then with someone who speaks to me the way he did!

Forgot to add, I was size 12 at the time.

The irony was, I dropped down to size 8 (I am built like a bird as it turns out) with not very much effort at all after I moved out of his house.

My mum plenty of times.
The one that really sticks in my mind is the time I came home from school and my mum was having coffee with a friend. I had never met this person before and he told me I was too heavy and needed to loose weight. My mum sat smirking. It completely broke my heart.

Btw I was 16 and a size 10. I was tiny. But please remember all of us, size 6 to 106, are worth so much more than our clothes size. We all have amazing qualities that matter so much more than our weight. The biggest lesson I have learned is listen to what my heart says more than what the scales say. And I'm so much happier for it x

A flower seller saw me with my newborn twins one day and said to me 'I thought you had got fat' He wasn't English and didn't know much English, and I hadn't seen him for a while so I found it funny.

In your situation that woman was a rude bitch.

My grandmother started commenting on my weight when I was a teen and a size 10-12. I took it to heart, as someone who I trusted I thought she could only be telling me the truth. I wish I could be that happy and a size 10 now.

Don't let what this woman said get to you. Who do you trust, yourself or some angry mad woman? You know you're not fat. (And even if you are, er, so what?)

Fat is both a disposable throw away comment, and a powerful social-value laden insult. Idealistically, I'd love it if we could reclaim the word fat, to just be a descriptive word with none of its current connotations. Like, "I spread fat on my toast, to make it tasty" and "the fat on my hips gives me a womanly shape".

That reminds me, I really want to read the book Fat is a Feminist Issue, must get myself a copy.

I am in the raf and the blokes constantly go on about 'fat wrafs' (wraf being the old acronym for female raf personnel), it is as if they can't say wraf without the 'fat' prefix for a lot of them.

The irony always being that the worst offenders for the fat wraf comments are usually not much to look at, with zero humour and are invariably married to women twice the size, who think we all fancy their witty, handsome husbands.

People who use fat as an insult of choice are usually extremely stunted in the wit department and have limited vocab ime.

Never and I am!!

All the time by certain female relatives. I am, er, strapping but I'm not fat. There's a baggy bit above my CS scar but there's also a lot of muscle.

Vile aunt who loved little comments like " she's not afraid of her dinner" was threatened by me, because I am a bit more academically able than her "genius" PFB. That's not self aggrandising, it is cold hard fact; I don't claim to be a genius but I have been lucky with exams. Every time there was a national exam of some sort she would tell everyone how he was going to "excel". She set this whole competition up in her head that PFB was smarter than me and would do better than me because I was "nothing special". When PFB proved himself to be nothing special either she would point out that I was fat, or ugly, or weird as if to compensate.

It took me years to make the connection and caused me huge amounts of distress as a teenager but I'm not afraid of her any more. Last time she tried I went with "fuck away off or I'll sit on you". It seems to have shut her up for now (she has been in the huff for 3 years so far, something of a record).

The word "fat" is meant to hurt you and take you down a peg or two. It is no reflection of your size or of you. It is a small person with a small mind making a lot of spiteful noise so that you feel small too.

It's about control OP, and putting or keeping you in your place.

What a total cow! I can't believe anyone could be so vile. I don't care how old she is - being elderly does NOT excuse behaviour like this. I'm sick of everyone making excuses for terrible behaviour in older people on the grounds that it 'must be dementia'. Sometimes they can be just awful, selfish monsters, the same as middle aged people, young people, and toddlers!

I've been called fat to my face - by my mother. I was 140lbs at the time, and am 5 foot 4, so wasn't even technically obese. I've also had episodes of anorexia, so it was particularly tactless. I know what you mean about

(oops posted too soon)

... not recovering from an eating disorder. It is like being an alcoholic: the weight issue is always there.

I've been called fat so many times I'm thinking of taking it as a title. Fat Dwerf instead of Ms. It's got a ring to it. It's one of the favourite insuts from the feral Abso Scouts round here. I tend to whisper "...and your mother" under my breath, escalating that to "...and your father, and your horse-fucking grandmother" if they don't quit. (I swear, one of these days I'm going to get stabbed for it).

or sometimes I smile and say "Really? I hadn't noticed, thank you for pointing it out to me."

The last person who yelled over to me on the street "You're a fat a bitch" for no reason was a young tee who lives on my street. He probably weighs as much as I do. And I'm not skinny, size 18. But I've lost several stone so these days I don't even feel that big, merely chunky. I am still fat though, and I don't even care.

I am fat but still find it offensive when someone calls me this as an insult. my DH's granny told me at a wedding that I was the best dressed there surprising considering that I was also the fattest! thanks was all I could manage. I was called a fat, four eyed..... (add in any other expletive you can think of ) in a tirade of abuse by someone who tail ended me. some form of divine intervention made me remember what Winston Churchill said " madam I may be fat but I can lose weight. you however can do nothing about being ugly" made me feel better and took the wind out of her sails. People just say it because they lack the intelligence to think of a better insult and it is regardless as to whether you are a siz 6 or a size 26. they know women are sensitive to their weight so that's why they do it. if it was a man she probably would have called you dick less.

I have been called fat to my face but I am fat so usually respond with 'I own a mirror, so that aint news'.

It really is usually the last resort of the stupid when they have nothing intelligent to say, so they deserve sympathy rather than worrying about.

I do think this is always a low blow, especially in the light of your personal circumstances. She wasn't to know this though, but you do know about her lack of intelligence.

Thanks for trying to make me feel better everyone and sorry at the stuff some of you have had to go through.

It's staggering how cruel some people can be.

I read 'Fat is ...' years ago, to the poster who mentioned it. I recommend it highly. It helped me with the anorexia (Thank you Susie Orbach).

Obviously I need to re-read it though.