AIBU to buy my son a dress for his 3rd Birthday

[thebadwife]

Just that really, I have always tried to dress my son in the most practical clothes for the activities of the day. The colour has never been important, which when was younger led to him being assumed to be a girl as often as he was a boy. Sometimes he wore leggings but mostly standard trousers, t-shirts and jumpers nothing particularly exciting, experimental or political.

However I have just had a daughter and my friends and family have been very generous and given us some lovely clothes for her which have included a few dresses. My son has always commented positively when I wear dresses, but has been really jealous of these tiny dresses and has asked several times if he can wear them. I told him they were too small but I would buy him a dress for his birthday in May. I have mentioned it to a few people and they have looked at me like I am crazy.

So AIBU?

We'd laugh because, as i said, he's 6ft 5" and would look a right wolly.

We're guiding him all the time.
And we're getting results that we're immensely proud of.

Majority? Ehh...so what. A majority only tells you that there's a minority that does things differently.

A minority of muggers/vandals...deal with them.
A minority of people with not-so-strict gender separatism...meh.

Sorry "at worst" curiosity and admiration.

OP - Your DS will look back at pics of his 3rd birthday in horror once he is older - and wonder why you let him embarass himself like that and didn't tell him that dresses ARE for girls

It's not wrong, really it's not. It's just clothes; he likes them, he wears them.

What is really sad is that because of societal norms he is wearing them less and less, though he did some home from school wearing a pair of blue bird festooned leggings as he didn't like the look of any of the boys stuff in the spare clothes box. So what.

Can I clarify something, blah?
Would you have derided your son when he was three/four/five?

I'm asking because you might have been jumped on unfairly earlier.

I think there is a big difference in buying him a new dress in a shop, as a "serious" present, or buying him one from a charity shop, or giving him an old one.

I think boys and girls should dress and dress up however they like, but to buy him a new fancy dress, I mean, if you'd go out for a meal or to Gran's, would you then dress him in his best dress?

I think that is possibly not even what the lad asked for.

My DS fell in love with an old silky nighty of mine, I gave it to him when he was 2. He still sleeps with it next to his pillow (he is 11 now ).

I gave my other son a doll's house when he was three (not a pink barbie one, mind).

Both my boys have ended up quite gender stereotypical after all, so it was nice to indulge them in their wishes for girly stuff when they wanted that.

I am all for letting any kid wear dresses, as long as you also allow him to wear rugby tops, wave light sabers or play football, if that is what he suddenly likes when he is 4.

I am slightly suspicious of parents are making a point about anti-genderisation (is that even a word) by making a big show of how "girly" their boy is, and I don't like it when parents use their kids to make a political point.

I think it is important to let kids just be, in a dress or naked (that was my youngest DS! naked until he was about 4, he grew out of that too) or as a football playing cowboy

Id buy them some dressing up outfits if they wanted some but wouldnt go out and buy them every day dresses.

None of them have asked so far, ds3 wanted a dora back pack for his 3rd birthday. My dsis tried to talk him into a diago one but he was having none of that!

No, he wont. Because he will be brought up to be liberal and tolerant of people's choices and not ridiculed by anyone for daring to think outside the box and do things his way.

At worst, he will laugh at how proud he looks. I doubt he is already lining me up for a parental divorce.

Anh, yes Caitlin on the onsies; I refuse to let them out of the house wearing them! Dresses, not so much

DS is a good balance, I think.
In an attempt to lighten things up, this is how I imagine his inner world....

blah I doubt very much he will be horrified by photos any more than any other photos of him at that age in ridiculous outfits.

Not to blow my own trumpet but I dress really well . I put a lot of time and effort in to it and get loads of compliments.

My mother has a photo of me at 3 wearing a lumpy, droopy,shapeless hand-knitted dress which I loved. The only saving grace about the photo is it is black and white so the full horror of it being sludge purple is hidden. My husband, knowing how vain I am about clothes, loves it.

Makes me laugh how in mn-land it is normal and trendy (almost competition like at times)for little boys to love all things pink pretty and princess. However, if a little girl likes those things she's been brainwashed by a consumerist society into believing she likes them when she doesn't really. Girls are only allowed to play with dinosaurs and swords in mn-land. The mind boggles

Daddy...I had a go at my explanation/theory behind the Pink Paradox yesterday.... I reckon it's a goer.

Daddy, I see what you mean.

OP, what does the boy's dad say about the dress BTW?

My DD has loads of pink thanks. She is a pink froo froo princess. It's what she likes. She also has swords and dinosaurs and a gun

'Makes me laugh how in mn-land it is normal and trendy (almost competition like at times)for little boys to love all things pink pretty and princess. However, if a little girl likes those things she's been brainwashed by a consumerist society into believing she likes them when she doesn't really. Girls are only allowed to play with dinosaurs and swords in mn-land. The mind boggles'

Oh your poor mind boggling like that. It's already been addressed but I'll say it again. I don't look down on pink things for girls, or girls playing with dolls, prams etc. I do have issue however with the very recent trend for having pink and blue versions of toys such as Lego, or doctors fancy dress outfits being marketed for boys and nurses outfits marketed to girls.

Bit of an aside but mine, male, had a baby doll and toy guns and swords. I was all set to ban toy guns and swords but he liked them. Particularly swords,cutlasses and pirate items.

His father and I still tease him about the time he found a mislaid sword and uttered the words
"Ooh my long lost sabre"

Lackadaisy you're doing just fine.(Not that you need me to tell you!)

Get him a dressing up dress and explain it is just that, for just pretend. I wouldn't get him an actual dress though. Being liberal is all very well but you also need to teach him about life.

If he wants one OP then why the hell not? It isn't hurting anyone and it will probably be discarded by this time next year.

DS used to team a storm trooper outfit with a sparkly gold handbag and pound shop princess high heels.

He looked a bobby dazzler

Being liberal is all very well but you also need to teach him about life.

Being liberal isn't a trendy lifestyle choice that has to be dismissed/hidden because of the occasional difficult person or situation that may or may not be encountered at some future date.

What do you mean "teach him about life" Minouminou?

...loving the pound shop princess high heels there, Captain

Classyl....

Soz....
I'm rubbish at pulling out quotes...it's from Cheekyfunkymonkey's post up the page.