to be annoyed that dp wants a takeaway?

[nw0401]

so im in the middle of cooking tea (honey glazed gammon) and dp has just woke up, come in the kitchen and said he wants a takeaway. I told him ive got gammon on and he said I can have that, him and ds1 will have a takeaway - so I threw a strop! AIBU to be utterly pissed off with him?!

YANBU, my DH does this to me too and it drives me INSANE. I do all the cooking and cook from scratch 6-7 nights . I'll say "it's x for dinner" and sometime around 4-5pm when it's already made or the meat for it is defrosted and there is not time to organise an alternative he'll announce he doesn't fancy that. So the options are see what we have that cooks from frozen (usually nothing), allow him to sort himself out (he will cook enough to feed four people, eating barely half and then the rest is wasted) or get takeaway (expensive). He doesn't realise how frustrating it is because he doesn't organise meal plan, food shopping, cooking.

I have no real advice, but a huge amount of sympathy!

casmama ive tried telling him that but to be fair at wkends he doesnt 'nap' and still cant sleep at night

thanks Bella - at least im not alone!

Well the day DP rejected my lovely home cooking in favour of a takeaway would be the last day I ever cooked for him.

Massively disrespectful of your time and effort. What is he teaching your son? He sounds like a spoilt child.

thought I might have been being unreasonable having a strop - hence the post. how do men always manage to make things seem like the womens fault?! according to dp I was being sulky and making excuses - he never does anything wrong

So who normally cooks? Does he ever cook? Given that you say gammon is his preferred meal and you are less keen on it, it is even more bad-mannered of him to decide he's going to reject it and buy a takeaway.

What's he like otherwise - does he have form for treating you as an inadequate servant?

now im debating whether to carry this on, go back in the kitchen and dish out his tea (knowing he'll still end up getting a takeaway - or just put it in the fridge to keep him happy, keep quiet and let him have his takeaway

I think he should be doing the cooking from now on. That way he will be sure it's something he fancies.

im a SAHM so yes - I do all cooking, cleaning, shopping. dp likes his food but has an unhealthy obsession with takeaways. pisses me off a bit to be honest because im not a great cook but this past year or so ive been trying to make things from scratch and cooking 'proper' meals - which he tends to screw his face up at if it doesnt include meat, which in turn makes me think why do I even bother trying?!

i think yabu - its only food, so what if he doesnt want to eat what youve cooked...

Depends. Did you tell him that's what you were cooking first? TBH I don't think either of you are in the wrong. You're not his skivvy granted- but you're not his mum either.

I'd be a bit pee'd off too if my DP dictated what I was having for dinner when I wanted to sort meself out.

YANBU

YANBU - he's being rude and ungrateful!

Especially since you are trying to save money - takeaways are expensive!

I really wouldn't cook for him again if he had a takeaway, chucking all my effort out of the window

I would be pissed off BUT to be fair I have had days when only a bit of stodge would do!

Not all men do My2puddings just twats. Which is what he sounds like.
Pathetic, he doesn't seem to be taking responsibility for your family budget, respecting your effort and to top it off is involving one of your children?! Can't even put himself to bed properly and manage his own health.
I feel contempt for him, God knows how you can look at him without thinking the same. Poor you.
I would be telling him to get a fucking grip personally he won't die eating a home cooked meal instead of junk and I wouldn't want to waste money on him for a nice meal out either.

YANBU...LTB

well he got what he wanted (as always) and his takeaway will be here soon. just to point out I never say to him - this is your tea, like it or lump it. I always give him a choice when doing shopping/meal planning. and if one night he says he fancies a takeout then thats fine with me cos it saves me cooking and cleaning up after! hes just major pissed me off tonight telling me whilst I were in the middle of cooking, throwing a strop and then saying im the one in the wrong! so I f*ck tea off, sit in the other room to chill out, then he still comes in having a whinge that he wants his takeaway and wants ME to order it for him!

which obviously I have ordered it for him to shut him up and im still in the other room, pissed off/upset, whilst he plays ps4 with ds1 happy as olt that his takeaway will be here soon

sometimes I wish I was single...........

See, I think this is part of a deeper issue. I had an XH used to do this, and in reality it all boiled to a power struggle. He wanted to call the shots on this ( and most other things).

I would be pissed off if I was half way through cooking. If he wanted a take away he should have let you know before you started cooking. If he was too busy napping that's his problem.

what a waste!!

parsley I think you might be right. thing is I always end up feeling like im the one being a twat - like its a gammon for f*ck sake, how've I managed to get so wound up, like I didnt just stick it in the fridge and say "ok lets have a takeout"

IME it was the same whatever I cooked. We argued about it. A lot. And then we got divorced, but not just over that, obs. He was a controlling arse generally.

So does he perceive the budget as not really his concern? It's ok for you and the dc to do without a takeaway every week due to the expense but he doesn't include himself in that? He earns the money so he can spend it and everyone else makes up the shortfall?
He really does sound like a spoilt brat, do you really feel any of this is your fault? Honestly it's not ok to think you are being unreasonable if your only 'crime' wasn't hopping to it to fulfill his lordship's fancy.