to wonder why it seems people get increasingly negative about breastfeeding the older baby gets....

[DiplodocusDinosaur]

My ds2 is 9 mths, admittedly he is a very big baby and often mistaken for 1yr to 18mths. I bf on demand and have always happily, discreetly fed in public. Whereas when he was little I.e. under 6 mths I only ever got really positive comments and vibes for bf in public, now he is getting older I'm increasingly noticing negative looks and had the odd comment more than once. Today I took my ds1 and ds2 to a childrens farm, ds2 wanted a feed so I went to feed him and heard two mothers giggling and saying 'bitty, bitty'. And a week or so back another lady stopped in the country park I was in and told me ds2 was far to old for breast milk and it was fine for little babies to be bf in public but my baby was old enough to learn to wait.
Have i just had a couple of bad run ins or have others noticed bf reactions change as babies get older?

megrim

You compare a woman BF'ing to a woman in underwear? Or a man in speedos? That's FUCKED UP.

How would he feel sat next to a woman in a low cut top with her cleavage on show?

He'll see more flesh there than he would on a Bf'ing mum.

Also he has a neck, he can do this thing with it called turning, moves his head in the other direction.

there are women who make a big song and dance out of BF and DO let their tit and nipple be seen by anyone and everyone and it's THESE women i have an issue with, not the discreet majority!

I thought it was here on MN that i was reading something but it was on Facebook actually about a woman at a mother and toddler group who left her tit hanging out the whole session incase her toddler wanted to feed!

The baby covers the breast.

A tankini top can be lifted easily and you can get bfeeding swimwear.

You see more breast when women wear teeny little bikinis.

My babies would never let me use a cover. I just did the top up, vest down technique like loads of others that I know. More so I could keep my beally covered.

You can't equate a manning Speedos or a woman in a tiny bikini sitting near you in a cafe with a woman bfeeding, the woman feeding is no doubt dressed appropriately and you will see minimal flesh.

And if you don't like people in swimwear you best not go to a pool or the beach, the cafes near the beaches near me often have people in bikinis etc.

On a sunny day you will see more flesh on many people than you do when a woman feeds a baby. A low cut top shows more.

Ah well it must so surely be true if it was on Facebook.

Taking smallsteps, have sent you a pm:)

Excuse me - you were bringing up the comparisons with scantily clad women "Aye, exactly, have a woman sit near someone with a low cut top on and you'll be seeing more boob than a mum breastfeeding."

Just because you think that bfing shouldn't make anyone feel uncomfortable, and that anyone who is uncomfortable by bfing is fucked up, is quite ridiculous.

The YouGov poll from August 2013 found that 59% of those surveyed found bfing in a restaurant generally acceptable. Guess that make the other 41% fucked up then?

I would assume the majority of respondent to the survey were sadly Ill educated with regards to bfeeding.

I would also be interested if they had any data on the respondents and how they canvassed the survey.

And it doesn't matter if people are offended or not, they don't have to look.

Hell I am offended by the fashion of low slung trousers with pants visible, well I don't like it anyway! But it does me no harm so I ignore it. If you are offended by bfeeding then ignore it. Simple.

No , I think that I need to deal with my own discomfort about things rather than impinge on the freedom of others. Especially when it's the right of a baby /child to eat.

I feel very uncomfortable about people smoking in the street . But it's perfectly legal. I don't expect them all to stop to accommodate my feelings.

The idea that women are "flaunting" breast feeding is mad... I bf my ds in public. I also sometimes give him rice cakes. Am I "flaunting" that too? Personally I'm 42 years old and after two kids my tits aren't really all that. You do after all see a lot more tit on a billboard advertising h&m, so I honestly refuse to believe that anyone could possibly care what I do with mine.

In answer to the poster who was concerned about her brother / elderly father feeling offended, why should that be of our concern? Time was plenty of people were offended by the glimpse of a black person in a shop too... Turns out that black people are okay! We can have them in shops and everything. Seriously, anyone offended should understand that since 2010 it' no longer legal to discriminate against breast feeding women in public places. Please do try to keep up.

I wouldn't feed in a baby change room as I would be thinking of some poor parent desperately wanting in while he merrily feeds for half an hour..
Or what if it is also the disabled toilet, does the right of someone's brother not to be offended trump the right of the disabled person to get into the dual-use facilities promptly?

Blahblah your use of the word "tit" is indicative of why you have a problem with public bf I think. It's is a very sexualised word, breasts are not always sexual things you know.
I would think a woman doing what you describe at the toddler group was barmy, but then so would a woman be who entertained her lo by playing pan pipes to them in the changing room, both of which are only things I've heard of on mumsnet!

talking sorry - I certainly don't want to add to the pressure you are already under....don't feel you have to take on the world on this one. It is a real shame that you feel uncomfortable feeding in public. It is really hard to find a balance...

It is interesting how the debate about bf in public gets bogged down with what people are comfortable with and what individuals find offensive.

It makes me think about how I feel when I smell meat. I was in Tesco last week hungover and the smell of the rotisserie chicken was permeating the air making me feel sick. I have been veggie for 25 years and some meat smells make me retch, I find them offensive. But this is my problem - meat eating is normal and I have absolutely no right to dictate to other people according to my own issues with it. When I am eating out with friends I don't tell them not to order the lamb shiksa so I don't have to smell it. That would be wrong. I would also be left with no one to eat out with.

People who have issues with 'flaunting' public breast feeding are the same imo. They can feel whatever they like but don't inflict your hang ups on others.

Oh ignore blahblah2014 for starters she might as well just say blah blah cos that's all it sounds like. But she is a poster who thinks if you smoke in a moving car with children in it all the smoke goes out the window, so you'll all be forgiven for taking everything she says with a pinch of salt.

I don't give two shots what any stranger thinks of my bf my baby in public. My baby needs fed so she gets get. If you see a flash of boob or nipple and it makes you feel uncomfortable then you shouldn't be looking.

If you find the sight of bf offensive then you don't understand what it's about. I'm saddened that people who have in fact breast fed their own child think there is something a bit bleurgh about the process.

The right time to feed a baby = when the baby is hungry.
The right place to feed a baby = wherever the hungry baby happens to be.

The above within normal limits of health and safety, obviously.

Breastfeeding without hiding away in a room somewhere is NOT 'flaunting it' - in the majority of cases, the flaunt is exclusively in the eye of the beholder.

I agree breast feeding in a cafe/restaurant or normal eating area is totally expected and I wouldn't bat an eye but in a shop/department store is a bit off in my opinion. I wouldn't feed myself in one nor my bottle fed dd. she's not a messy noisy drinker I just feel rude to do it in a public place such as this as its not a cafe, it is someones business. And in the swimming pool Is ridiculous! A Bottle fed baby doesn't get fed in the pool or at the side of it and they seem to manage a swimming session.

I've only browsed the replies.

I'm pregnant and planning (fingers crossed) to breastfeed to early toddlerhood, maybe 15-18 months.

I don't think I would have the courage to feed in front of anyone after 6 months or so I just know that family, friends and a heck of a lot of the public would think it very weird that a 6 month+ baby is bf. most of my family & friends bf for 6-12 weeks and then straight to formula. I would be made to feel like a complete freak for feeding a one year old.
Perhaps some women are passionate enough about bf and confident about their choice but I'm not, sorry if that offends anyone.

I would discreetly bf a baby younger than 6 months in public but not a baby 6+ months. Planning to express and bring bottle for out and about feeds.

Foodie, thats all well and good if you have a baby that will take a bottle. Mine has refused since about 8 weeks old and as long as you can express. Ive not been able to get a drop out since 9 months.

Very true Moomins but that's the 'plan'

Like I said, fingers crossed

Just for the record, you should note that I used the word "uncomfortable" and not the word "offended". There is a quite a significant difference.

Foodie - when you have your baby you will probably care a lot less about what others think of your choices - you'll want to put your baby's needs above people who feel uncomfortable about breastfeeding. It may take you a while to build up to feeling confident about feeding when out and about but once you have the skills and have done it a few times it is amazing how few people notice or care what you do.

Also you'll not really notice the difference between feeding your baby at 5 months 29 days and 6 months 1 day - you are still feeding your same wee baby!

Purple. I am weighing up whether I should bother trying to explain to you, for the third time that expresssed breast milk in a beaker does NOT give the same health benefits as milk directly from the breast.

Are you actually reading the threads addressed to you I wonder? Are you disregarding the bits you don't want to hear? What exactly is the problem here?

Some of you lot are talking utter shite.

I fed my DS in the shoe department of Next, halfway up a mountain, on the side of the road while watching a half marathon, on a packed train...all sorts of places.

No song and dance about it, no wanting to prove a "point" - he was hungry, so I fed him. To me, that was the simple and sensible thing to do.

Running about to find a changing room, with a screaming hungry baby in tow, would have been far more of a kerfuffle.