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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the saying 'money can't buy you happiness' is a lie?

143 replies

manicinsomniac · 13/03/2014 19:08

I don't know whether this just makes me ridiculously materialistic but I think that plenty of money can at least go a long way towards making you happy.

If I had the money for a large penthouse in the west end and all the holidays, extra curriculars, trips and stuff that I or the children wanted I do think I'd be happier. And if I was watching every penny, living in a run down house in a difficult area and watching every penny while trying to cope on benefits we would be significantly less happy.

I know there are many unhappy rich people and many happy poor people but I don't think their happiness is linked to their income.

Money won't make an unhappy person happy. But I think it will make them happier and make the average person with no significant problems very happy.

AIBU and shallow?

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 13/03/2014 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

formerbabe · 13/03/2014 19:11

Money buys security and freedom...money alone won't make you happy but it certainly helps!

purplebaubles · 13/03/2014 19:11

YANBU! Money would mean I wouldn't worry about bills, and would be able to take my DD out to classes/swimming etc etc. Not to mention the fact that I'd have something to wear other than a pair of jogging bottoms, 2 tops and a pair of trainers.

AnyFucker · 13/03/2014 19:12

it's a terrible cliche, but like many such examples has the kernel of truth... "if you have your health, you have all you need"

I truly believe this

Money cannot buy a cure for cancer, it cannot rehabilitate the drug addicted offspring, it cannot bring back loved ones, it cannot bring back those lost babies, it cannot substitute for love

granted, I am not rolling in it, nor am I grubbing for every penny, but I have my health and my sense of self and that to me is priceless

< ends sermon >

WorraLiberty · 13/03/2014 19:12

It can't buy you happiness but it gives you choices that can bring happiness.

If you, your DP or your kids were diagnosed with a terminal illness...no amount of money would make you happy, would it?

BitOutOfPractice · 13/03/2014 19:14

"Money can't buy you happiness. But if you've got enough, you can rent it!"

Groucho Marx

He has a point I think

msrisotto · 13/03/2014 19:14

I do agree OP, but then, if my OH died for example, no money could make me happy. I think that's what people mean with that saying.

AnyFucker · 13/03/2014 19:14

that is a soul less Marx quote

almost anything can be "rented" but it means fuck all

I don't see too many really, really rich people

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 13/03/2014 19:15

I think money cannot guarantee you happiness but money. I know plenty of well off people in miserable relationships/poor health/tragic life events. Money can't shield you from those things but it can buy you some nice stuff.

WooWooOwl · 13/03/2014 19:15

You see it like that because you are in a position where you also have your children, and the things you feel you need to make their lives better are material.

If you didn't have them, or they or you didn't have your health, you might feel differently.

Money really can't make you happy if you don't have the other things in life that make it worth living. It could being misery in comfort, and it could bring happiness if all the other things are in place. But if they aren't, then money won't do anything about happiness levels.

ShadowFall · 13/03/2014 19:15

YANBU up to a point.

I believe that if someone is poor enough that they're having to constantly keep an eye on spending in order to afford the essentials, then yes, having more money will make them happier. Because it'll reduce that constant worry about not being able to afford rent / food / electric / unexpected essential thing going wrong.

But I think that once someone's got enough money to be able to afford the essentials without worrying about watching every penny, then having more money won't really make that much lasting difference to their happiness level.

minipie · 13/03/2014 19:16

I agree, money can make you happier.

Lack of money is one of the main things couples argue over so if you have plenty then there's a whole set of arguments gone. It's also a big source of worry and stress for many.

Having money gives you the ability to get out of bad situations - for example being able to pay for private medical treatment to get health issues sorted quickly; being able to quit your job if it's making you miserable; being able to move house if you need to; being able to pay for an elderly parent's care rather than doing it all yourself.

It's not about the material stuff really - that's nice but it's not so important - it's the options it gives you and your family, and the fact there is one (big) thing less to worry about.

Pagwatch · 13/03/2014 19:16

It can't buy you happiness.
There are so many issues that it doesn't change at all.

Having money is way better than not having money. But if you think it makes you happy - if you think being rich = being happy - then you are mistaken.

PandaFeet · 13/03/2014 19:16

If I had money I would still feel fat and ugly and worthless. I might be able to take my mind off it but it would still be there.

And money can't cure illnesses or bring back loved ones.

It would definitely make life much easier and more bearable though.

BitOutOfPractice · 13/03/2014 19:17

No it's not AF. IT's a funny, pithy way of sayng what a lot of other MNers have said. Money can't buy happiness. That is obvious. But it can most certainly stop some of the miseries that poverty brings.

minipie · 13/03/2014 19:18

Money cannot buy a cure for cancer, it cannot rehabilitate the drug addicted offspring, it cannot bring back loved ones, it cannot bring back those lost babies, it cannot substitute for love

No of course money can't do all of this but it can pay for life saving cancer drugs if the NHS has decided they're not justified; it can pay for IVF for those who can't have children naturally; it can pay for the finest rehab facilities for drug addicted offspring. Money can't do everything but it can do some pretty amazing things, not just buying "stuff".

Sativa · 13/03/2014 19:18

I agree that health is a major factor when levels of happiness are considered.

The trouble is poor people get ill (more than rich people if statistics are right). I'd still rather be ill & rich than ill & poor. And money does open certain doors when it comes to health.

Meerka · 13/03/2014 19:19

as a lovely ex said: "money can't make you happier but it can buy you a better class of misery"

think you need enough to be comfortable on. Its an intense source of worry if you're wondering how the hell to pay for the food and a bit of heating, and worrying makes you miserable. But once you can be comfortable, that's all really.

Original poster
manicinsomniac · 13/03/2014 19:20

I don't think rich equals happy and I totally agree about the tragic life circus. I did say that I know there are many unhappy rich people and that I think money would make the average person without any significant problems happy.

OP posts:
PortofinoRevisited · 13/03/2014 19:21

I think there is a difference between having ENOUGH money and being rich in the happiness stakes. If you are constantly trying to make ends meet, that can be a huge source of stress, then having enough money to cover your bills and bit extra for a treat/savings that make you feel secure - well I think that that can make the world of difference to your life. Beyond that, it am I not so sure.

Original poster
manicinsomniac · 13/03/2014 19:22

Oops, very unfortunate autocorrect there, I meant circs not circus!

OP posts:
MrsBungle · 13/03/2014 19:23

I think not having to worry about money is bound to make one happier than if one has to struggle. My bil and sil are rolling in it and she's just had an affair which they are trying to get over. In order to make a fresh start they've just bought a massive house and booked 3 massive holidays - now, they might not be happier than dh and me but they have more at their disposal to help with it!

I do agree that Money doesn't buy you good health but it buys private health care which may help to find problems sooner giving you more of a chance.

Pagwatch · 13/03/2014 19:23

Nah, too simplistic.
People are more complicated than that.

CailinDana · 13/03/2014 19:28

Research has shown that if you take two averagely happy people and one becomes a paraplegic while the other becomes a millionaire then their happiness will be poles apart to begin with but just about equal a year later.
The problem with wealth is that it's relative. Money can indeed buy happiness for the truly poor as it can buy health by making you fed, warm and safe. But once the essentials are covered it becomes much more complicated. I gave a man in Tanzania my cheap bic pen as he needed it and I didn't. He cried inconsolably and I was really shocked. That pen had no value for me but massive value for him.
I see it in myself lately. Years ago DH and I hadn't two cents to rub together. Buying a house seemed impossible and I would have settled for anything. Now we have the house and a decent income I long for beautiful furniture and I feel the house is shabby. I'm not happier. Not by a long shot. I think I was happier with less. I can afford "more" and "better" but at each level of "better" there's always one level higher.
Statistically the thing a lottery win is likely to do is ruin your life.

Hissy · 13/03/2014 19:31

I've had the big job, with the big salary. You don't get paid lots for an easy ride, people who pay you a lot of money want their pound of flesh. You lose sleep, you lose time working late/travelling/catching up on stuff while you were travelling.

I've lived in a golden cage. Lived a life where others would spectate as we shopped.

Only now, years later can I honestly say that i'm Me. Actually i'm a better version of me.

I may be earning per month what I used to pay in income tax, and i've still got so much need and indeed potential for more. I have hope, I can plan.

you can't put a price on freedom.

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