to think that the saying 'money can't buy you happiness' is a lie?

[manicinsomniac]

I don't know whether this just makes me ridiculously materialistic but I think that plenty of money can at least go a long way towards making you happy.

If I had the money for a large penthouse in the west end and all the holidays, extra curriculars, trips and stuff that I or the children wanted I do think I'd be happier. And if I was watching every penny, living in a run down house in a difficult area and watching every penny while trying to cope on benefits we would be significantly less happy.

I know there are many unhappy rich people and many happy poor people but I don't think their happiness is linked to their income.

Money won't make an unhappy person happy. But I think it will make them happier and make the average person with no significant problems very happy.

AIBU and shallow?

If your partner dies suddenly you will be unhappy. If your partner dies suddenly and you also have the bailiffs at the door chasing you for the debts you can no longer afford to service then that will add to your pain. If the life insurance wipes out the debts and pays off your mortgage it won't make you grieve less but it will be of comfort that your Children won't have to leave their home.

Lost dp - minus 1000 points
Bailiffs - minus 100 points
Secure home - plus 20 points
Optimist - plus
Pessimist - minus
Good health - plus
Poisonous mil - minus
New job - plus
Job stress - minus

Etc etc.

Sorry if this has been mentioned, but in studies based on people that win the lottery, money makes you happier - for six months. After that, the tendency is that you go back to your previous level of happiness.

I hope I'm remembering that correctly!

I know a few very well off people.
They are all miserable fuckers.
But they are miserable in luxurious surroundings.

I agree with what shadowfall said on the first page; as long as all your basic needs are met without having to watch every single penny, and as long as you have enough for a few luxuries, you can be happy without masses if money. Many rich people are deeply unhappy, despite having all the riches in the world. Many rich people have to constantly fight, backstab and treat others like crap in order to remain in that position. These kinds of people rarely have real friendships. I strongly believe that most people cannot be truly happy this way.

No it can't buy you happiness but it gives you choices and freedom from worrying about certain things.

My dh and I were very poor when we first got married as our careers were starting to develop. We now have a very large income etc.

However I wouldnt say were any happier now as we've always been happy even when struggling to pay the bills.

While money itself doesn't make you unhappy, I think overdependence on a certain lifestyle can actually make you unhappy.

People who stay in jobs that they hate or make themselves ill by doing unnecessary overtime, women who won't leave unpleasant husbands because they have lost faith in their ability to cope on little money.

I think minipie has it:-

"How's this as a summary:

Some things that make people unhappy can be fixed with money.

Some things can't.

Therefore money can buy happiness for some people, depending on what their problems are."

My own anecdotal experience is that we are now pretty comfortably off. The money doesn't materially change our underlying happiness but it does provide us with security. The knowledge that no one can ever take my children's home is like a warm blanket I wrap around myself when feeling a bit sad for whatever reason.

However, the happiest we have been over money was when we were achieving this level of comfortably off. Passing the exams and so getting the associated promotions and pay rises was pretty great as that was about the two of us setting out together, having a plan and making it work.

I think some people are unhappy when wealthy as they are not happy with their lot so still strive for more. Rather than stopping and enjoying what they have they keep going

Apparently studies have been done that show that more money will increase you happiness but only if your current position is one where you do not have enough money for food, shelter and warmth. The basics.

I would say for me this was true...in the past I've been balls to the wall skint and a higher rate tax payer. Balls to the wall skint was undoubtedly a desperately unhappy time. Obviously earning a lot of money was great, but I'm actually happier now and I have less that I did then.

Perhaps the more you have the more you have to worry about losing. I have a desperate fear of being skint again, especially with the current 'is the poverty/food poverty' debate currently going on.

I think people who say that money doesn't buy happiness have never been really, truly poor.

As a very young child my parents were self employed in very seasonal work. During down times there were weeks when they could barely afford food - in fact one of my earliest memories is my Mum crying in relief when someone brought round a bag of food for us.

Thankfully their business has grown and from the age of about 8 or 9 they were earning probably around the average wage and didn't have to worry about food anymore. But when you've seen the desperation that not having money brings it doesn't really go away. Even now, a large part of what drives me is remembering the fear of "what if this person doesn't pay on time?" and having no savings to see you through.

For me, money doesn't buy happiness but having a few months wages saved up brings security, helps me sleep at night, gives me options if I was suddenly made redundant. And that actually enables me to enjoy all the things that make me happy.

Having lived in a developing country where money buys education, milk, healthcare, having what you need makes a huge difference...

Money can't buy everything though and it's up to you how you use your money.... If you spend it on drinking you probably won't be happy.

You will also make a lot of fake friends and be taken advantage of by other people.

I would say money buys more choices but not necessarily happiness.

It depends on your other circumstances and the amount of money.

If you don't have a serious illness but you live in a shitty damp house and can't feed your children or pay for school trips, then money would be likely to make you happier.

In my current situation, everything else being as it is, a cash injection would make a massive difference to my happiness levels and sense of well-being. I wouldn't be worried about earning enough to scrape the money for bills together, I could make the home improvements I need, I could have a holiday.

Having options, having choices, having opportunities makes most people happier and money gives you more of these.
It's usually said by people who are financially comfortable though but not necessarily rich. People who have forgotten or never known what it is to be brassic.

Being poor can make people utterly, wretchedly miserable. You only have to read threads on here or watch Famous, rich and hungry to see that.

Money can go a long way to being happier but if you are a miserable fucker, you're a miserable fucker.

I agree that money can remove you from the stress and unhappiness of poverty but also agree that things are relative. I don't have to stop and think about buying school shoes etc but we are in a well off area and now the requests are iphones and school ski trips. I am in the fortunate position of saying no to wants rather than needs but I still have to /or choose to say no.

The one way money has brought happiness is the ability to do things that we enjoy e.g. going to watch sport, the cinema etc. But its doing those things as a family that has brought the happiness, the money has only facilitated it.

Some sociologists have even suggested a rapid increase in wealth can cause some people to feel adrift in society as they don't fit in their former class / social group but don't have the norms of the group they should now belong to (in terms of income). ( my vague recollection of Durkheim's Anomie of Affulence.)

I feel happier now that I am more financially stable. Of course losing a loved one would be devastating but to have the extra concern of how to provide for those left behind could make it much worse.

Money buys stability, assurance, the ability to treat yourself and those around you. It does not keep tragedy at bay.

I like what someone said up thread; money can't buy you happiness, but neither can poverty. When the worst happens, finances are the last thing you want to think about.

Since I got into Buddhism, I can honestly say that I haven't experienced unhappiness or some other emotions, mainly jealousy etc.

I might have a level of stress, occasional worry about the decision making of those that I love (or rather the consequences), but not unhappiness, as I would define it.

My opinion is backed up by Psychological and MH research and studies.

Most people in a country that has a welfare state don't have the worries that they think they do.

They have a problem with their thought patterns and what they want, what others have etc.

I have had personal loses happen to me, but without being Cliche, that is part of life. Having periods of grief is different to being unhappy. I can understand not recovering from the loss of a child, but that isn't linked to wealth.

Some people don't allow themselves happiness, or don't want to go down a path that will achieve reaching contentment.

"If you don't have a serious illness but you live in a shitty damp house and can't feed your children or pay for school trips, then money would be likely to make you happier."

Its not the money of itself that would make the person happier though, its what it can afford. So if they got transferred to a nicer house, that cost less to heat and as a result could afford more food, that would be arguably equally as likely to make them happier.

Money can only assist. It won't matter how rich a Syrian refugee is, if there is nowhere to buy food.

So I would argue money itself doesn't really make a difference to happiness - its having your needs met. Money can help with that, but other factors can also play a big part.

Money def doesn't buy you happiness, but it sure as hell makes things easier. Eg better access to education , healthcare, food and holidays and able to buy back time eg employ a cleaner and other staff n

I'd rather be comfortable and have relatively few problems in my life than be really stinking rich with a toxic mum or an abusive husband, or an ill child.

However I really don't want to be really poor where everything is an awful struggle and so much energy is taken up with day to day survival either.

Ideally I'd be mega rich AND happy. We can dream eh

YABU. Money can enable you to access more things that might solve some of life's problems, but in itself it won't make anyone happy. There are bad things in life that can happen to people regardless of money.

I am pretty happy now.

I have a lovely family.
I have a great marriage.
I love my job.
My health is good enough.

More money would make it much better. I love stuff, I love spending money and more would make me happier, providing all of the above remains the same.

This (potential) bun fight again!

Money can buy an illusion, it can't buy true happiness.

'Money isn't everything, unless you have none.'

I agree with you, OP, I really do.

I think people who say that money doesn't buy happiness have never been really, truly poor.

As said my someone who (hopefully) doesn't know the gut churning misery of having a parent who regrets not aborting you, material possessions don't help!