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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that the saying 'money can't buy you happiness' is a lie?

143 replies

manicinsomniac · 13/03/2014 19:08

I don't know whether this just makes me ridiculously materialistic but I think that plenty of money can at least go a long way towards making you happy.

If I had the money for a large penthouse in the west end and all the holidays, extra curriculars, trips and stuff that I or the children wanted I do think I'd be happier. And if I was watching every penny, living in a run down house in a difficult area and watching every penny while trying to cope on benefits we would be significantly less happy.

I know there are many unhappy rich people and many happy poor people but I don't think their happiness is linked to their income.

Money won't make an unhappy person happy. But I think it will make them happier and make the average person with no significant problems very happy.

AIBU and shallow?

OP posts:

MavisG · 13/03/2014 20:19

Anatana I love your post. I am so glad your husband can get outside. And wheelchairs are so expensive.

AnyFucker · 13/03/2014 20:19

ya see, I don't believe "absence of misery = happiness"

because you always want more, don't you ?

some of the least happy people (by my definition) are social climbers with their eye always on what they don't have

Trooperslane · 13/03/2014 20:20

What Anyfucker said.

It's all relative.

Trooperslane · 13/03/2014 20:20

What Anyfucker said.

It's all relative.

AnyFucker · 13/03/2014 20:23

windy I am so sorry

if I could buy your son back for you, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I cannot

Pagwatch · 13/03/2014 20:23

No, no money/treatment etc makes any difference.

But the point I m trying to make is that money can't buy you happiness. It simply can't.
It can aliviate some of the things that cause unhappiness, of course it can.
But those two things are not the same.

The suggestion that my sons disability makes me less sad, is less distressing than if I had no money is quite offensive actually and is a mindset that underpins a lot of crass stereotypes. Like people sniffing at celebrities with depression

NearTheWindymill · 13/03/2014 20:25

Pag

Pagwatch · 13/03/2014 20:26

Nearthewindymill
I'm sorry.

I agree with you.
If money bought you happiness why would so many of us swap in a heartbeat.

ZingSweetMango · 13/03/2014 20:27

happiness/joyfulness/positive frame of mind is an attitude and can be achieved in many dire circumstances.

To me happiness is peace of mind.

I don't think money can buy happiness, but it can contribute towards it.

Anatana · 13/03/2014 20:30

I'm not sniffing at anybody! But I will say that my diagnosed chronic (over ten years) "mental illness" cleared right up after about two months of +5 hours of sleep per night, a hoist and gantry, some physio for my back, enough to eat, and an interesting job with prospects.

My happiness cost about six thousand pounds.

AnyFucker · 13/03/2014 20:31

I am sorry, Pag

usualsuspect33 · 13/03/2014 20:33

Money can make a difference, living hand to mouth is a miserable existence.

Take away the worry about paying bills etc, it would make me happier anyway.

MavisG · 13/03/2014 20:34

I'm sorry too.

Backtobedlam · 13/03/2014 20:34

Money brings with it other problems though-I've known it to cause family feuds, fake friends/hangers on come on the scene, control issues etc. I also think the more you have the further you have to fall, so there's the constant stress of keeping at the level you're at which is harder the more material goods you own. Satisfaction levels go down as well...I clearly remember the excitement of picking up my first nice(ish) car that I'd worked and saved for over months. Now I've picked up many new prestige cars and have never reached that same enthusiasm. I think you are who you are and while being very poor can make you unhappy, it's worth remembering a lot of the best moments in life don't cost a penny.

cherrypez · 13/03/2014 20:36

I might have agreed wholeheartedly with you until my friend's baby died. Nothing will ever make her happy again, she is broken.

However, an average person with no tragedy or real problems, just a general feeling of 'is this it?' would, I agree, be happier with money. I would!

Pagwatch · 13/03/2014 20:37

Ach, it's just a shit day.
Spent the day trying to get appts to talk about what the hell happens to DS2 after school. It's all a bit raw really.

Pagwatch · 13/03/2014 20:38

Thanks though

Viviennemary · 13/03/2014 20:39

It depends on the context I think. Of course if you are rich and suffer a tragedy money will not help. But day to day if you are down and can afford buy nice clothes and go holidays and out for meals and so on that can make life more enjoyable.

Viviennemary · 13/03/2014 20:40

Sorry Pagwatch didn't see your post.

violator · 13/03/2014 20:42

I can distinctly remember during my darkest, most horrific days with PND, staring at the lottery draw on the telly and saying to my husband "If I won that I'd hand it all back just to feel normal again."

Anyone who thinks money can buy happiness has never known true sadness.

Armadale · 13/03/2014 20:42

I think it is true that money doesn't buy you happiness.

I do think that poverty brings unhappiness though.

IME the difference in happiness between really struggling to meet basic expenses and being 'average' is much bigger than that between 'average' and 'rich'.

GreenLandsOfHome · 13/03/2014 20:44

I disagree.

I don't think money will 'make you happy'.

If you are used to being skint, or could just do with more money in general then it may make certain aspects of your life easier

But you will still experience boredom. And stress. Arguments with dh or dc. People stressing you out, pissing you off. Problems with school/work/employees/the tax man.

Life doesn't go away just because you have money. If these things get to you and make you 'unhappy' when you're skint - they'll still be there when you're not.

You get complacent with the standard of living you're accustomed to. Life in a mansion with millions in the bank would probably make you happy for a while - but when the novelty has worn off - money alone won't.

Pagwatch · 13/03/2014 20:44

No, no - its fine. I had my whine.

NCedToProtectTheIgnorant · 13/03/2014 20:47

Pagwatch - I'm very sorry what I said was offensive, I didn't mean it to be taken that way at all. Some things in life are heartbreaking and distressing regardless of your bank account, a celebrity suffering from depression is still suffering and a billionaire losing a loved one is going to suffer the same kind of pain as they would if they were poor. But poverty is distressing enough all by itself and I fail to see why, however difficult a person's life, having masses of money wouldn't make life easier for them and enable choices they wouldn't have if they were poor to choose to make their lives happier. Being happy isn't an absolute IMO, there's degrees and I think someone can be just as distressed by one part of their life but happier than they would be if they were starving and ignoring the baliffs at the door.

Anatana · 13/03/2014 20:49

I have known true sadness. I just disagree with you. It doesn't make my the omg!!tragedy of my life any less. I'm totally gold star tragic. I'm practically my own issue of Take A Break.

You can't fix a tethered spine but you can be happy in your life anyway. It's totally possible.

For the longest time nobody would help us because they thought there was no point. There is! There is a point!

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