to think that the saying 'money can't buy you happiness' is a lie?

[manicinsomniac]

I don't know whether this just makes me ridiculously materialistic but I think that plenty of money can at least go a long way towards making you happy.

If I had the money for a large penthouse in the west end and all the holidays, extra curriculars, trips and stuff that I or the children wanted I do think I'd be happier. And if I was watching every penny, living in a run down house in a difficult area and watching every penny while trying to cope on benefits we would be significantly less happy.

I know there are many unhappy rich people and many happy poor people but I don't think their happiness is linked to their income.

Money won't make an unhappy person happy. But I think it will make them happier and make the average person with no significant problems very happy.

AIBU and shallow?

I have two disabled children. Money can't change their conditions or their needs, but it sure as hell would buy me some peace of mind for after I am gone, and make their lives better.

Far better than £59.75 p.w would, in any case.

I will selflessly volunteer to try it out. If I don't like it, I'll give it all back if you can prize it out of my cold, dead claw

I think YABU, it's not saying "you'll be unhappy if you have money" it's just saying that you can't be happy just with money alone.

Which is true.

But surviving on very little money is incredibly stressful and this can lead to unhappiness. So I do get what you're saying. But the saying is not a lie.

A reasonable amount of money can help make you happy. Enough to house, feed and generally look after yourself with enough left over for treats/ days out/ reasonably priced holiday. After that I don't think it makes a difference.
In fact, when you have more I think your expectation go up adding pressure to your life.

You should read the book "The Happiness Project" :) I've just finished it, it's very good. About someone who turned the idea of being happier into a sort of science for a year and tried to live according to their principles.

There was a chapter on money and it was interesting what she found from it. (Obviously totally anecdotal, but there is some proper research in there too)

YADNBU - I never get the reasoning behind "money doesn't affect happiness" thinking. I understand wealth is relative, even millionaires feel pressure to 'keep up with the Joneses' but most costs in life are fairly static at heart - a loaf of bread costs around £1 whether you're homeless or a billionaire and fills you up the same. You might choose to get gold flecked artisan bread for £1000 if you've got the money but that's your choice, same as chucking money down the drain would be, you don't have to do it to get bread. Whereas someone with only £1 left in the world can't choose to get bread for a penny, they have to make difficult choices that the millionaire won't have to make.

Also the money won't protect you from life events that could upset you, it won't stop you being depressed or ill but if I had millions and got depressed I could have a counsellor 24/7 if I wanted, have state of the art anti-depressants etc - if I was on the breadline I could have a 6-month wait for whatever the NHS could chuck me and a pat on the head, there's no way the 1st circumstances wouldn't leave me happier than the 2nd!

Think the only valid point behind "money doesn't buy you happiness" is that money doesn't stop you making stupid decisions, like lottery winners who end up bankrupt a year later. For the majority of people money would very much facilitate an awful lot of happiness.

Money can't buy happiness but it buys a lot of opportunities to create it and goes a long way to allieviating the causes of un-happiness.

Money doesn't make you happy, but it sure makes your like easier- and makes it easier to be happier. You may be seriously ill, but you will probably have a better time of it if, as well as fearing for your life, you aren't worrying about losing your house, not being able to afford food, not being able to buy fitting clothes and shoes for your children and so on, compared to someone with the same illness but also a heap of other problems.

Money can't solve many problems, but it can solve quite a few too, so, even if many issues won't be resolved by being comfortable/rich or whatever, so you are unhappy, it will mean there are probably less problems you are facing than someone in the same position health wise, loss wise or whatever, but with less money.

NCed

So could you tell me who I pay to get my sons disability cured? That would be great.

To be big extent YANBU. No, it can't buy you happiness because happiness is not a commodity that can be purchased. It can buy a lot of the things - whether those are objects or services - that can contribute towards happiness, and it can buy things - again whether they are objects or services - that solve, or at least ameliorate, problems that contribute towards unhappiness.

At the very least, it enables a better standard of misery .

I know so many miserable rich people. In contrast my in laws are sooo poor by our standards, they don't have furniture or a bathroom (seriously) but seem very happy.
For me, I know that debt makes me unhappy, but having very little doesn't.

I think this is true about people who have ended up with fellas who have money then split when it's gone.
I know them well enough to believe they aren't gold diggers, but love is a lot sweeter with nice stuff and days out.

Lottery winners are on average, less happy than they were pre-win.

And that includes health problems - no, the money might not enable a cure, although it could enable you to access vital medical treatment that would otherwise be inaccessible (thinking here of treatments/procedures not approved by NICE, or treatments not available locally due to postcode lottery). (In the long run it might purchase a cure, if you were seriously rich and able to throw lots of money into medical research.)

And where money cannot purchase a cure, it can still purchase a better standard of living, in terms of the carers the individual actually needs, respite for family, modifications to home or transport, enabling holidays, etc etc etc.

Yeah Msrisotto, that's because most of them say "Well it won;t change us though we might buy a new carpet for the landing!" They lack ambition!

Yes, but you can be miserable in comfort.

Of course money can make you happy!

I think there is a maximum happiness you can achieve through money, though.

Money makes life easier and less stressful. It can't make you happier but it can remove a lot of problems.

Oh yes it is such a lie! It's a lie I told myself when we were absolutely on our uppers but now we're not I have to say: it is such a lie!

Money can buy a wheelchair. Money can put the heating on. Money can buy an adapted house so your husband can go outside and look at the sky and feel the wind on his face. Money can buy you a bed so you can sleep for three hours together (and therefore regain sanity!). Money can buy an adapted computer and an eye tracker. Money can buy you sleep and warmth and food and opportunities and hope for the future. It bought our happiness. We have never been gladder. Money solves problems.

Totally depends on the circumstances of the individuals and how they actually get their money. My DH earns a very good salary but he's never bloody here. He works all hours to get that salary, it's just what is expected. I would be happier with less money and him actually being here sometimes. I've told him that - but he's not budging...
If you had "free" money without having to graft, like lottery/inheritance, I think you would be happier.

To quote Arnold Jackson in Diff'rent Strokes "Money can't buy you happiness, but it sure takes the sting out of being poor."

YABU.

I have a lovely home, money in the bank, lovely DH, holiday home abroad, I can pretty much have what I want when I want but I don't - I'm quite cautious by nature.

Nearly 17 years ago DS2 died in my arms - part of me and some of my happiness died with him - he had a congenital heart defect and I only had him for a few hours. If I could have prevented that I'd have given up everything and lived in a caravan on rice and beans.

Be careful what you wish for.

Pagwatch - not knowing your son I don't know if it can be but I know a lot of life-changing treatment is ridiculously expensive and only affordable, or at least easily affordable, by the ultra rich or someone very lucky with their fund raising. If you had millions (am making a presumption you don't, sorry if I'm wrong!) even if there was no 'cure' you could/wanted to buy you could at least afford whatever help/medicine/home improvements/nursing/education you wanted and know that you could provide that for life. Surely that has to be at least nearer the definition of happiness than living with disability while having it aggravated by not being able to afford adequate food/heating, having education/NHS facilities you need cut by not enough funding etc?

Money does give comfort and security but it can't buy the things that really matter.