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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that women are treated like shit by society?

147 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 13/03/2014 18:47

Especially single mothers. I have been discriminated against several times about my lack of marital status.
I'm fed up with the whole way that society treats women and I'm worried about my dd.
I do love men and they make good friends but society gives out this message that it is important to be married and/ or in a relationship. Single women are seen as a threat and / or failures.
Women in relationships are often repressed. The media promotes this 'perfect' body image and porn.
I mean I know it's been done to death but why do we put up with it?
What is worse it that we are our own worse enemy. Women see each other as threats too.

OP posts:
Onesleeptillwembley · 13/03/2014 19:31

YABU to put your experience as standard. I've not experienced these things.

mrscumberbatch · 13/03/2014 19:34

Even if you haven't experienced these things personally, have you never noticed how crap women are treated in the media?

How corporations still assign 'gender traits' or occupations solely to male or female children? (Ie: girls are pink princesses and boys are firemen.)

How women are de facto the primary caregivers in most households. And if you are a stay at home Dad you are an oddity?

It's all around you. Affecting you and the decisions people and companies make towards you every day.

GarthsUncle · 13/03/2014 19:39

I'm sure there are threads where you've agreed with the OP, Onesleep, I've just never spotted one!

WooWooOwl · 13/03/2014 19:41

Women are often the primary caregivers for their children, but I see that as something that is in our favour. It's a good thing, and I wouldn't have wants it any other way.

I appreciate that often happens because women aren't paid as much as men, and that is obviously something that should change, but I think the fact that we get to carry and deliver the babies and then look after them is something that many men are envious of.

It shouldn't be seen as a bad thing that is negative towards women. It is a big positive in my life's experience.

bongobaby · 13/03/2014 19:42

I used to get fed up when going to appointments or official things to do with ds. I'm not married and a single parent and ds has exp surname, I get the raised eyebrows up into their foreheads at this. And the school keeps calling me Mrs exp surname. So annoying but maybe a slip of the tongue once is acceptable not all the time though it grates.
Not saying its discrimination just a bit of judgement to assume that I'm married or should be.

Methe · 13/03/2014 19:44

No I don't. Tbh honest I think a lot of people want to see discrimination in everything.

WooWooOwl · 13/03/2014 19:45

I get called Mrs Ex's surname too by schools. It doesn't bother me, it's my children's name as much as it is my ex's, and as it only happens with people whose primary concern is for my children, I don't expect them to have to learn my name as well and keep track of all the parents they have to deal with that have different surnames to their children.

Girlnumbersix · 13/03/2014 19:45

OP, you love men?? WHY??? I am not goading...I genuinely want to know. From where I stand, men as a class are not very lovable at all. They are not even likeable.

ErrolTheDragon · 13/03/2014 19:47

YANBU. Too many women do experience the problems you describe. I haven't personally, but that doesn't mean that I ascribe to a complacent 'I'm all right, Jill' attitude.

mrscumberbatch · 13/03/2014 19:48

Girlsix... You can't tar them all with the same brush. That's just ridiculous and no better than anti-female sentiment.

Just because one woman is happy to forgo a career to be at home with children doesn't mean that we all should stay at home.

Bowlersarm · 13/03/2014 19:50

Girlnumbersix if that is truly your viewpoint, i feel very sorry for you. I am surrounded by more men than women in my life. They rock.

ErrolTheDragon · 13/03/2014 19:53

'men as a class' Hmm - you can't lump roughly half the population together. Would you accept a generalisation 'women as a class'? I wouldn't. I've known lovely men and women in personal and professional capacities.

Girlnumbersix · 13/03/2014 19:54

I know all that 'can't tar them with the same brush' nonsense...but WHY does she love men?? And if I can't say they aren't lovable, then she can't say they ARE, right!! Tarring them with the same brush, and all that...RIGHT mrscumberbatch? Or are you just a man pleaser?

Did you have a go at her about that?? Nope, didn't think so. So come on....what is it that makes them lovable?

Girlnumbersix · 13/03/2014 19:56

Bowlersarm, WHY?? What do these men in your life do that women can't?

MamaPingu · 13/03/2014 19:56

I kind of agree with you OP.
Definitely about the media, it is shocking if you seriously sit and pay attention to the adverts.
I am even guilty of sexism towards women that I've just done/said without even realising Confused

I have recently become a single parent not through choice and I'm not looking forward to comments. It doesn't help that I am a rather young mum too. Stereotypes allover the shop!

Dahlen · 13/03/2014 19:58

If we're talking about men or women as a class it's important to remember that we're talking about a political analysis, in the same way we'd talk about the way black people as a class have been treated by white people as a class throughout history. It's not about saying all men are the same any more than it is saying all black people are the same. It's simply saying that certain factors affect that group as a class in the way they don't affect another group.

Therefore it is quite accurate to say that on a class level men have treated women appallingly throughout history. That is in no way denying the fact that many men are absolutely lovely and that many women have enjoyed wonderful lives with men. It's the same as saying that black people have experienced dreadful levels of racism from white people, while accepting that not all white people are racist.

Bowlersarm · 13/03/2014 19:58

Girlnumbersix, these men in my life are the closest people to me. Why should I replace them with women?

Girlnumbersix · 13/03/2014 19:59

Errol...I think you need to educate yourself.

Anyway, I await hearing about these amazing men.

MamaPingu · 13/03/2014 20:01

Nicely worded Dahlen, I liked your post!

Girlnumbersix · 13/03/2014 20:02

Bowler I think the same about the men in my life!! But YOU were the one who inferred that men were better than women. You did that!!!!

I too have men in my life whom I love, but no way would I compare them to my women friends. YOU did!

Dahlen · 13/03/2014 20:03

I have had the privilege of a wonderful father, grandfather, uncles, bosses and friends. My opinion of the men in my life is very high. None of these men have ever treated me with discrimination or sexism.

However, I have still experienced sexism and see far more women experiencing it (often completely acceptingly) than I see women treated as equals by men overall.

IF we are so equal, why are 4x as many women as men killed by their partners/ex-partners, why is a woman a third more likely to be abused than a man (allowing for underreporting), why are women 2x as likely to be living in poverty, why do women make up less than 20% of high court judges, company directors, politicians, etc? Why do we still have a gender pay gap and why do women still do 80% of the housework in most domestic relationships where both partners work full time?

StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2014 20:05

"I am even guilty of sexism towards women that I've just done/said without even realising"
Me too. It is so entrenched in our culture

dolphinsandwhales · 13/03/2014 20:05

Yanbu OP

mrscumberbatch · 13/03/2014 20:09

Girlnumbersix, I'm going to assume that you've been drinking wine as I don't know how you got from 'Dont stereotype people' to 'I am a man pleaser'.

Fwiw, I make DP quite happy and alternately I irritate the shite out of him. Horses for courses eh?

Bowlersarm · 13/03/2014 20:10

But YOU were the one who inferred that men were better than women. You did that!!!

Where the bloody hell did I say that, Girlnumbersix. Would you care to point it out?