To ask if you were an only child do you think you missed out on having a sibling?

[widdle]

Also inspired by the thread on asking what made you decide on a second child I just wanted to rephrase the question slightly differently. If you are an only child did you feel lonely/sad etc or do you think it had a negative impact on your life?

We have one son and the only thing that is making me consider a second is that I feel he might be missing out on having a sibling.

I'm an only child. I used to say I wanted a sibling when I was little but I also wanted a horse. You just want new things at that age.
As a teen I loved being an only!
As an adult I don't miss not having siblings. I have very close friends, I always have. I'm closer to these people than they are to their own siblings. My mum hates her siblings and they often make her very unhappy, it's not always great having a sister or brother.

I am an only child. As a child it didn't bother me at all. In fact I think I benefitted as my parents could afford to do things for me / with me that they probably couldn't have afforded had there been more children ( am thinking about hobbies, holidays etc).

However now that I am older I wish I had the support of a brother or sister. My dad died a few years ago and my mum is quite elderly, but doesn't cope well on her own now that my dad is no longer around. My mum's health is not great, and once she is no longer here I will be on my own. I have no partner and no children and, although I have cousins, we are not close.

Of course, I could have a sibling who lives far away or with whom I had fallen out etc, but it would be nice to have that possibility of some support - both practically and emotionally

When I was young I was quite happy to be an only child, plenty of friends and cousins and I had a wonderful childhood. As an adult I have missed having a sibling, missed out of nieces and nephews, my children have missed out on aunts or uncles and cousins. The first time I began to miss a sibling seriously though was when my dad died.

However, I was also determined to have a large family. When that was not possible I adopted a family group of 4 children, and now they are adults I am a foster carer so the house is always full.

However, my mum has recently become very unwell, and I feel the burden of being the only child overwhelming. I wish so much for someone to talk to who would understand and share the responsibility and decision making over my mum's future care. I wish there was someone else to visit her, so (selfishly I know) I could have a day off. It is now the greatest sadness of my life, I just wish there was someone else to be there for my mum too.

I also too feel totally and completely bereft at having no biological link to anyone. Knowing that with little time left for my mum, I (even though surrounded by husband, adopted children and foster children) I will be alone. With that also comes a huge sense of grief and guilt at being the very last 'of my kind'.

Sorry, I though I would answer this from the heart....it's now very, very lonely being an only child.

I wish you will, OP, no matter what you decide.

I'm not an only child, but I have a nephew who is. I think it's swings and roundabouts tbh. I think there are definite advantages to being an only child. You don't have to deal with annoying younger siblings for a start or share your parents with anyone else. There's no need to miss out on extra curricular activities because they clash with those of your sibling either.

I have 2 boys and I like having more than one child, but it does have disadvantages as well as advantages.

I'm an only and was an only grandchild on one side too.I was very lonely, not helped by my parents moving country a lot and never experiencing having a close friend until I was in late primary. We lived a big distance from my mother's family so there was never any extended family close at hand either.

I used to beg my parents for a sibling, felt awful when I realised as a teen they had massive fertility problems and were lucky to have had one

Imo it's even worse as an adult... My kids have no cousins, no aunts or uncles on my side (and Dps siblings are useless), no extended family network. I'm the only one my parents have so feel guilty if I don't spend every Xmas and special occasion with them. I'm the only one who'll care for them in old age and have noone to help with the practical or emotional issues of aging parents.

I have three because I couldn't bear the thought of them not having siblings.

Only child (if you don't count 1/2DB who I didn't grow up with / never lived with & 10yrs younger & have nothing to do with). My parents were totally dysfunctional and eventually split up and I missed a sibling / wished for a sibling and wish that I had brothers and sisters now. Still jealous of DH and friends with siblings, but then maybe it's just a case of the grass is always greener. As others have pointed out having siblings does not automatically equate happy families.

I was a weird kid who had a hard time sharing my stuff (OK at friends houses just weird in my own home). The lack of siblings is possibly why I've had 3DCs, it would not be fair to let one deal with us on their own! However, I have friends (functional) who have v. well adjusted and happy only DCs and I would not advocate having a child just so an existing child has a sibling. That would be a bit sad for him/her.

I have a few siblings but there is a big age gap so I was a bit left behind as they all moved on and left home. I loved loved loved having brothers and sisters though, I just wish I had been closer in age to them. The consequences are that I wanted my DC very close together so no one would miss out.

As other people have said, an added advantage of having siblings is your own dc growing up with cousins in the family. Although my siblings and I have an age disparity, my DC and their DC are fairly close in age fortunately.

I really don't like being an oc

xactly the same as primrose133, I grew up round elderly relatives and talk was often about illness and death. Think i m rather morbid as a result and have always felt older then I am.

I dislike it more as I get older, dh is an oc and my Dds have no cousins or uncles and aunts. I''ve got a big kitchen and would love a 10 seater table but don't have the family to go round it. I'm lucky with friends and love them dearly but they're not family.

I wasn't lonely as a child as my mum childminded but I would've loved a sibling similar in age - seeing dh and his lovely relationship with his sister I wish I had that.

I have a much younger half brother but because of the age gap he feels more like a nephew

I feel like I wont have someone to share grief/burdon of older parents/ relatives dying etc

I have a DD, and due to pregnancy and post birth being so difficult, I don't think I could cope with another child. DD is now 9 months but still wakes up almost hourly at night.

But reading below is making me re-think

One thing though is that being an only is becoming more common. In my class now I have 26 children, 5 are onlys. When I was a child it was very uncommon, I remember being in a French lesson and the teacher teaching us how to say how many brothers and sisters they had. There was no mention of being an only.

I'm the eldest of three (total age gap of 5 years). Growing up I was always responsible for setting a good example and looking after my brothers, from when I was 12 I was "in charge" after school for two hours which was a violent affair (db1 once tried to hit me over the head with a kitchen chair) and we have no adult relationship.

I mean if we are at a family gathering at the same time we can exchange polite words, but less than with more distant family members.

What's worst us that they are very close to each other. It might be bad never having had the chance of a close sibling relationship but IMO its worse if you are cut out if the group by sex and age order.

Always hated db1, when he was two r I wanted a sister to be born next. My parents often try to guilt trip me with the statement that they gave me siblings.

I was an only child and had a lovely, happy childhood full of family and friends. I went on to deliberately only have one child and it's been a fantastic decision (for us).

I was an only, I longed for siblings when I was younger. I dislike it even more now I am an adult and wish I had been able to have more than the two children I have. My OH has several siblings and we all get on well but I do wish I had some of my own. When my parents were elderly it was hard being the only one around to visit as they had no one else. If it's the hand life deals you, that's the way it is but when I was younger I did resent the fact that my parents deliberately had just the one.

I am an only child of two only children. It never bothered me at all as a child as I was a fairly quiet, bookish type anyway and I suppose never missed what I never had. However, as an adult I really feel it: very tough with aging parents and having to deal with things all by yourself.

I'm an only child. Perfectly happy when I was younger, and got on really well with my parents, lots of friends etc etc. They were slightly older when they had me (36 and 42 wouldn't be old now, was a bit then). Now it is bloody, bloody hard as neither is in great health. I dread the day when they're both dead and I have no-one to reference my childhood with, which I would have if I had a sibling.

I am an only child. I have two children - I was determined not to have just one.

It's very hard being an only child when you're older and your parents are old and ill. I do have a cousin that I am very close to, though.

other way round for me, i have a sister and wished i didn't. my life would have been/would be ALOT easier/happier if i didn't have a sister. miserable to type but being honest

i HATE threads like this, very personal to me. some of your posts, the angry 'only' ones seem to resent their mothers. spare a thought for the mothers who, unknown to your good selves, who desperately tried for years to conceive another child but couldn't. they didn't not give you a sibling out of spite you know. i went through hell for 8 years trying to have another child whilst all around me appeared to pop them out like fucking rabbits. my dd knows i tried for years to have another, risking my health too by putting all sorts of crap into my body. i am lucky as she loves things as they are. i hope she doesn't hate things as she gets older, i doubt she will down to her life and the kind of person she is. fwiw i feel the 'same' sort of loney pain you feel when you get older (50) when you don't have a sibling to share things with ie the worry of losing your parents despite HAVING a sister. it is as if i don't have one and the fact that i do has complicated things, i really wish i didn't have a sister. having one doesn't guarantee all rosies in the garden of adult life.

Hear hear, Winter. It took us 8 yrs of IVF with miscarriages in between to finally have DS and I'd hate to think that he would be resenting being an only when he's older. I hope instead he'll come to appreciate our determination to overcome every obstacle put in our way to give him life. We will do everything we can to give him the best possible childhood. As older parents yes he may face losing us at ean earlier age than his peers but looking on the bright side he won't have to wsit so long for his inheritance! He has cousins, lots of aunts and uncles and and is part of a close family. He won't be alone.

People are allowed to feel how they like about their childhood though aren't they? It's not about you or an attack on you I know some lovely (not lonely) only's who have stacks of friends, it can be the socialisation and the parenting of the only child that makes a huge difference. Some people on here have said they hated their siblings or would've hated having them but that doesn't make me feel bad about having 3

I am an only, and hated it. Saw friends with siblings and was jealous, although they spent plenty of time arguing with each other! Don't resent my parents as I know it wasn't a deliberate decision. Always knew I wanted more than one child and was terrified at the prospect of it not happening. Now have 3!
My dh is also an only and he loved it!

Not at all as a child.

As an adult with older than average parents, I do sometimes wish there was someone else to take the pressure off, but I know plenty of people with siblings who are useless or more trouble than being an only, so it's only very fleeting.

DH is one of three - gets on ok with his older brother but I wouldn't say they're 'close', can't stand his younger brother (I keep in touch with him and his family independently of DH as I get on well with them, and they tolerate each other when they have to).

We just have the one DD aged 9. Not what we'd planned, but something that came about partly through circumstances and partly through choice. In theory we could have had another child but there were just too many obstacles (including health factors) to make it worth the risk. We're very happy with our little family of three and DD has no yearnings for siblings whatsoever.