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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to say something to DS1 teacher about this?

138 replies

NewLisaLife · 12/03/2014 21:20

Or should I keep my beak out?

DS1(7) told me at tea time tonight that one of his friends - lets called him T, had only a sandwich and a chocolate bar (chocolate biscuit) for his packed lunch. T has a brother, who also had the same for his lunch.

DS1 gave him his crisps and his chocolate biscuit out of his lunch so T wouldn't go hungry, his other friend also gave Ts brother his crisps and a biscuit from his lunch so he wouldn't go hungry.

I know the boys mother - not well but well enough to stop and chat to in the playground or if out in town I'll say 'hello, how are you etc etc?' So don't want approach mother iykwim?

WIBU to mention this to DS teacher?
DS thought id be mad that he gave away some of his lunch but I'm actually quite proud that he and his friend gave them some more food so that they wouldn't go hungry.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewLisaLife · 13/03/2014 09:25

What do half the people who start threads want? Advice, I got advice and was told to keep my nose out, it's not my business and I also learnt my child eats far too much / apparently Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
NewLisaLife · 13/03/2014 09:26

But if id have come on here saying
'Aww my DS gave his friend some of his packed lunch because said friend didn't have enough to eat'
This thread would be very different!!!

The joys of Mumsnet

OP posts:
UC · 13/03/2014 09:31

No, I wouldn't mention it. I'd be more concerned about the child who has crisps and a chocolate bar in his lunch every day - this is IMO really unhealthy.

Your DS had ham sandwich, choc biscuit, banana, yogurt, crisps, mini roll and 3 cherry tomatoes. That is more than I'd eat for lunch. I don't give my 13/11/9/7 year old that much. Perhaps I should go in and tell the teacher that you are over-feeding your DS? I expect you wouldn't like me to do that, and I wouldn't - because this is your choice, whether I agree with it or not.

fideline · 13/03/2014 09:35

Blackholes the flapjacks were apparently in breach of a 'no chocolate' rule (tiny chips). The bonkers lunchbox policy was the last of that schools problems. Moved house soon after.

VeryStressedMum · 13/03/2014 09:38

You are going to speak to the teacher to voice concerns that a mother has once sent her child into school less lunch than he normally gets?? Don't be ridiculous.

Grennie · 13/03/2014 09:43

A sandwich and a chocolate bar seems absolutely fine for a 6 year old. That would fill me up for lunch.

Original poster
NewLisaLife · 13/03/2014 09:43

I know of children who have more than my DS. I have my own reasons as to making sure my children have enough to eat whilst at school due to me having a packed lunch at school as a child which consisted of a sandwich and a chocolate bar and still been hungry. Watching others eat lots of tasty food in front of you isn't a nice feeling! Hmm

OP posts:
magesticmallow · 13/03/2014 09:49

Because you hadn't a big enough lunch as a child isn't actually a reason to overfeed your ds a lunch that is too big and crazy unhealthy!!

And actually your thread was "ash my ds gave another big some lunch as he didn't have enough" or whatever you said up thread, that's exactly what it was

Anyway you've said you wouldn't say anything so that'sfine, i'm still shocked you a) thought it and b) thought about it enough to start a thread :/

ZanyMobster · 13/03/2014 09:49

I am surprised people are saying the OPs DSs lunch is too much for a 7 YO, I have two boys and they eat more than me. They are very sporty and do over 10 hours of proper sports activities a week.

My 5 yos lunch today was a chicken wrap,quavers, squeezy yoghurt, pot of strawberries and grapes, pot of cucumber/raw carrot/peppers. I also put a cereal bat in but he doesn't often eat that. It sounds a lot but would only be a plate full of food really.

I am not one for comparing girls and boys as a rule but all my friends DDs eat considerably less but are a similar size to my boys, they do not do the same amount of physical activity though.

Back to the OP then - I wouldn't say anything but I would be telling my DS not to give away his lunch and if it carried on.

ZanyMobster · 13/03/2014 09:53

BTW i think people are being over the top and out of order about how much your DS is eating buy i must say it is not that healthy IMO.

also I should have said that 5 YO is the height of a 7 yo so he is not some tiny little thing I am feeding that much.

NannyK7H · 13/03/2014 09:55

OP you are clearly not liking people commenting on your DS' lunch contents, but that is exactly what you are doing with the friend's lunch isn't it?

ClementineKelandra · 13/03/2014 10:00

OP, I'm sorry but if you carry on feeding your child that amount of food for lunch every day you are going to give him a weight problem.

My teenage children wouldn't even eat all that for one meal!

Original poster
NewLisaLife · 13/03/2014 10:09

Ffs what my child has to eat isn't a lot! In fact it's only a plateful if that!
Ham sandwich
Small yogurt
A small mini roll
A choc biscuit
Crisps
And this week cherry tomatoes which he may not have next week.
That is NOT a lot for a 7 year old who's tall.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewLisaLife · 13/03/2014 10:11

I'd understand if he was having a ham and full salad sandwich, muller light sized yogurt, 2 biscuits a cadburys mini roll as they are big compared to what he has and a family sized pack of crisps but he has a small bag, - oh he has a drink of juice too!

OP posts:
magesticmallow · 13/03/2014 10:12

I think its a huge amount but that aside you can't argue its unhealthy, it really is

DeWe · 13/03/2014 10:12

Sandwich and a chocolate bar? That sounds fine. Dh takes a sandwich chocolate bar and apple-which is exactly the same as he took all through secondary.

I used to take 1 digestive biscuit and a drink. That was all I'd want or eat. If someone had offered me crisps I might have accepted it sometimes. it didn't mean that I generally wanted more in my pack lunch.

Original poster
NewLisaLife · 13/03/2014 10:12

I best get him to the drs to check his blood for high sugars shouldn't i?!

Yes I judged and yes I asked WIBU? I understand I would have been so haven't said anything. Wish id never have started this damn thread now! But swings and roundabouts on here.

Hiding now as can't do with the judgemental twatness of half of you!!

OP posts:
Original poster
NewLisaLife · 13/03/2014 10:13

And yes if you haven't guessed I am in a bad fucking mood today!!

OP posts:
Original poster
NewLisaLife · 13/03/2014 10:14

May not be healthiest packs lung but he has a healthy meal at tea time every day! So balances it out really doesn't it? Or because what he eats at school do you think I serve up fish fingers chips and beans or nuggets everyday!?!

OP posts:
ZanyMobster · 13/03/2014 10:25

It is not a huge amount OP, some people come on here just to be nasty!

MarmaladeShatkins · 13/03/2014 10:27

I've cut down on the snacks that I put in DS's lunchbox.

I used to give him a round of sandwiches, crisps and raisins or dried apricots. Guess what he was eating first and not bothering to eat at all?

So now I just give him sandwiches and a small snack. He's more worried about going out to play tbh, than eating a load of stuff. I think a sandwich for lunch is fine, as they do get fruit in the morning and crackers in the afternoon.

Your DS sounds like a lovely child. :)

ZanyMobster · 13/03/2014 10:28

Clementine - that is a crazy thing to say. If a teenager had a normal size breakfast, just that lunch then a healthy tea it is hardly a lot of food. If you have an active child they need to eat a reasonable amount. I think you are totally out of order suggesting a child would have a weight problem.

Most teenagers snack at school on cap but primary age kids don't have that opportunity so they are likely to only be having 3 meals a day.

WestieMamma · 13/03/2014 10:33

OP did you miss out on being a prefect at school?

The biggest issue I see is a child with a lunch box full of junk food giving some of it to a child whose parents have chosen not to give their child that much. As others have already said, the teacher should be having a word with you.

NannyK7H · 13/03/2014 10:36

Exactly OP, it's not nice to be critisised on what you are feeding your child especially when the person criticising doesn't know the full picture.
Feed your child whatever you like! But just let other parents do the same and don't report them to the teacher.
I can see you were only looking out for the other child but maybe think about how you would feel on the other side first.

magesticmallow · 13/03/2014 10:37

Judgemental twatness - oh the irony!!!!