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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to say something to DS1 teacher about this?

138 replies

NewLisaLife · 12/03/2014 21:20

Or should I keep my beak out?

DS1(7) told me at tea time tonight that one of his friends - lets called him T, had only a sandwich and a chocolate bar (chocolate biscuit) for his packed lunch. T has a brother, who also had the same for his lunch.

DS1 gave him his crisps and his chocolate biscuit out of his lunch so T wouldn't go hungry, his other friend also gave Ts brother his crisps and a biscuit from his lunch so he wouldn't go hungry.

I know the boys mother - not well but well enough to stop and chat to in the playground or if out in town I'll say 'hello, how are you etc etc?' So don't want approach mother iykwim?

WIBU to mention this to DS teacher?
DS thought id be mad that he gave away some of his lunch but I'm actually quite proud that he and his friend gave them some more food so that they wouldn't go hungry.

OP posts:
neverputasockinatoaster · 12/03/2014 21:50

My DS takes a sandwich and a treaty thing - currently a mini packet of buttons.
Anything else comes home uneaten. He detests the noise of the dinner hall so eats the bare minimum and then goes outside.....

WorraLiberty · 12/03/2014 21:52

Blimey OP that sounds like a banquet your DD takes to school Grin

Also, he might have had a dip in his lunchbox at break time?

WorraLiberty · 12/03/2014 21:53

Sorry I meant your DS. I've just given him a sex change Blush

WooWooOwl · 12/03/2014 21:53

I wouldn't say anything.

I sometimes work school lunchtimes and parents ideas of what make up a good lunch vary hugely. It's their business, they are the parents and are responsible for making choices for their children. We don't let children share food though.

And we can usually tell children whose parents have had a hectic morning and haven't done the usual for packed lunch, or if Dad's done it. Yes, I know plenty of fathers are capable of making great packed lunches, before I get picked up on that.

I'm an adult an a sandwich does me quite well for lunch, so I can't really see the problem anyway.

Original poster
NewLisaLife · 12/03/2014 22:06

It's ok Worra we call him Jacquline at home - not making him feel bad, it's a joke between us as a family because he laughed when he asked what his name would have been if he were a girl, as he thought it would have had to have been similar to Jack GrinWink

OP posts:
feathermucker · 12/03/2014 22:07

YABU to say anything to the teacher. Whilst some kids will demolish everything in their packed lunch, others hardly eat anything. It may be that there's a good reason for this. My DS goes through days of hardly having anything at all.

Are there any signs of neglect otherwise? Dirty clothes first thing, holes in shoes, withdrawn manner, challenging behaviour, bruises/marks, aggression.

Did they actually tell your son they were hungry. Mine has done this before if there's a treat in someone else's lunchbox! Little beggar lol

Original poster
NewLisaLife · 12/03/2014 22:31

No not neglected at all. Clean looking and well behaved.

OP posts:
parakeet · 12/03/2014 22:31

As an adult I am quite happy with a sandwich and something like a chocolate bar for my lunch. Did the friend complain to your son he was hungry? He should be complaining to his parents.

Unless he looks underweight or has other signs of neglect, keep your beak out.

KuppiKahvia · 12/03/2014 22:31

YABU and I'm another surprised that your children are allowed to share food. My 7 year old went today with a deconstructed sandwich, bread and butter, cheese, cucumber and tomatoes plus a banana and water. She had pe and an after school sports club and was perfectly fine.

Your son's lunch sounds excessive to me.

feathermucker · 12/03/2014 23:15

Then definitely don't say anything. If there were problems that indicated deliberate neglect by withholding food, the school would know.

No offence meant at all, but your son's lunch is quite substantial, so maybe THAT'S why this child's lunch seems inadequate?

Original poster
NewLisaLife · 12/03/2014 23:22

The banana he had for morning break.
Yogurts are those small petit filous size yogurts, a standard ham sandwich on brown bread, a small chocolate bar which is the size if not smaller than a penguin biscuit and a bag of crisps. That's not too much. He would have more on school dinners so why shouldn't I give him enough food to fill him?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/03/2014 23:43

Ahh see that's what I was thinking.

If they're allowed to swipe something out of their lunch boxes for morning break (like my DS is) then maybe the lunch was bigger to begin with, but he ate a lot at break time?

wigglesrock · 12/03/2014 23:45

I wouldn't say anything - why would you? On this particular day one child had a smaller lunch than yours. My dd2 probably eats about the same as your son's friend. Could he have eaten some of his lunch at break time? I used to do that all the time.

wigglesrock · 12/03/2014 23:46

x post Smile

charmschool · 12/03/2014 23:47

She probably overslept and thought "Christ! I've forgotten the pack up" and just grabbed what was nearest.

If this happens every day for 3 weeks then tell the teacher. And the dentist.

Jinsei · 12/03/2014 23:54

My dd is 8, and there's no way she would manage what your DS has for lunch! She'd be perfectly content with a sandwich and a chocolate bar - her normal lunch consists of sandwich or pitta, bite-sized flapjack or similar and a satsuma. I usually give her a little pack of raisins or some pieces of cucumber (which she loves!) but she rarely eats them as she says she is full!

YouTheCat · 13/03/2014 00:03

Maybe the mum is getting her kids to make their own lunches and that is what they packed?

magesticmallow · 13/03/2014 00:07

Definitely don't say anything, its plenty to eat, not the healthiest but I'm actually surprised at the amount of you saying you give any crisps and chocolate, DVD's school have a healthy eating policy so no crap, I assumed all schools were the same. My did gets half a ham sandwich, fun sized banana and something else small cheese maybe and sure as eggs half of it comes home because she wasn't hungry. To be honest I don't think your comparing like with like, it sounds to me like your ds has far too much so the other boys is bound to look small compared to it

Original poster
NewLisaLife · 13/03/2014 00:08

I I won't say anything. They're only allowed to eat fruit at break times.

OP posts:
magesticmallow · 13/03/2014 00:08

Dd's school not DVD's oops

Original poster
NewLisaLife · 13/03/2014 00:09

He could have had a banana or apple or something and he's eaten it already!

OP posts:
magesticmallow · 13/03/2014 00:13

Do you give your ds a chocolate biscuit, crisps and a mini roll everyday for lunch???

noblegiraffe · 13/03/2014 00:14

The other kid's lunch might seem disproportionately small next to your DS's lunch which is huge. But it's not tiny. You say they normally have a bigger lunch so I'd see it as a one-off and not mention it.

PatriciaHolm · 13/03/2014 00:21

The lunchbox police clearly aren't patrolling your school ;-) A lunch containing a choc biscuit, crisps and a mini roll would attract a patronising letter in many schools!

I'd leave it, at least for a while. If it persists it might be worth saying Hi to the mum and trying to ascertain if everything is OK - she might be struggling with an aged parent, for example, and not being able to shop - but on the face of it, it's nothing to worry about.

Jinsei · 13/03/2014 00:22

What is a mini roll? Confused

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